All Rants

It was one time the dick pick was one time the snap account I added was sending me nudes and asking for me to send too and I was horny I’d send my gf nudes if she wanted them

So, exams are tomorrow. I still have not studied. Not because I don't want to, but becausde i seriously cant. I hate it.

I hate it when i get closer to a friend who i think i can be myself around but they say or do something that makes me think otherwise and all of sudden every time i talk to them i feel uncomfortable or like i have to mask because if i don't it'll be weird

I have nothing to live for now but I need to make it to the 26th of November. The concerts over. I know that no one actually cares. All of my friends are sick of me, I know it. They will never like me back. And now school is starting and I have nothing friends, I look like a fucking freak, and no one will ever live me for who I am. I’m a fucking waste of space, a stupid rag doll that’s only played with when someone has nothing to do. I fucking hate myself so much. Maybe when all my flesh rots off of my bones and I become one with the soil and plants in the forest will I actually be beautiful. When my rot creates something people like. But I can’t do it just yet. I need to make it to their birthday, I need to give them one last hug goodbye. Please help me please help me please I can’t go back to therapy, they only made it worse, please help me please.

I went outside yesterday with a girl and 2 boy college friends. all night, I had to witness their little hints they're into her, subtle compliments and not so hidden remarks and I felt out of place. after the terrible night out I feel hideous and gigantic and I never wish to set foot outside. it doesn't help I drank while on antidepressants, I made a fool of myself and probably right now, this depressing feeling might just be a chemical effect. I started spiralling and overthinking my appearance, my weight and the reason no one has ever pursued me. the lessons I learned: I'm not drinking ever again and I'm won't be hanging out with dudes. I despise this feeling of being unwanted. I hate battling body dysmorphia and getting back to the old beliefs I tried so hard to leave behind. I'll keep trying to accommodate to the thought I'll die alone, maybe have just a few friends. Anyone up there that hears me, if I'm meant to be alone, please take away my desire to be loved.

I was in a relationship for 9 years with someone with MDD. Over time, it’s felt like more of a burden because I have to be the one to initiate activities, cook, chores, plan things, and half the time it never works out because they don’t want to or can’t get out of bed that day. They told me that they were contemplating self harm because they didn’t see their life improving. They asked me to stay with them for another year to see if a new medication helped them (it hasn’t and it’s been 9 months). Finally acknowledged that we needed to not be in a relationship anymore, but I still live with them until I can move into my new place in a month. It doesn’t feel like a breakup. I don’t feel like I can move on. I’m not sad, but I’m not happy either. I don’t know what their plan is for the future and I’m torn between wanting to know and not. They want to keep doing things together (travel, dates, sleeping together), but I feel like that’s just staying in a relationship? I’m confused.

I need a break from you. Like how you just walk away from me - but it’s my turn. I want it to hurt you as much as it hurts me when you disappear, even if it’s not as effective now because I see you every single day at work.

I'm always too sensitive. Wanna man up gng

I want to starve myself, to stay awake even if I want to sleep. There's a voice, a thought telling me to kill myself, to starve, to stay up late, to tear at my skin, that I'm a burden, that I'm pathetic.

The world is so sick. I want to end things for myself despite telling myself to continue and that through faith in God i will make it through and yet despite this i feel like im so lonely and unreliable. I hate the feeling of being alone, i really need someone in my life i can talk to and yet i feel as though anyone i ask would get freaked out by my venting and leave me just like everyone else did. I try to get myself to get up and do things like work out or even just relax and read a book and yet i cant. I loved those two things so much, yet im hurting inside so much i want to explode.

my parents don't accept me as lgbtq, of course they don't. It hurts because I feel so much gender dysphoria every single fucking day, and I can't explain why, and they say it's just a phase, bitch, how would you know how I'm feeling? I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate the stupid shape and curves that make me a "girl". I hate that I'm omnisexual, religious trauma adds to that. I want to end it. The fuck do I do? My real name hurts do badly, I hear everytime someone misgenders me, I hate it. I hate me.

IM SO TIRED ALL MY FRIENDS ARE FUCKING DEPRESSED AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP. I'm depressed as well, clinically diagnosed, and every day my friend vents to keep and I listen but I'm scared it's not enough and one day I wake up and she's gone. I want to jump in front of a car. Overdose. Anything. Please. I don't know how to help. I'm a fucking stupid 13 year old and I'm so pathetic and useless.

I feel like this sound really immature but i just feel so ignored, like a floater friend that nobody genuinely likes. Aside from that, my family relations suck too. My grandma always compares me to my perfect cousin like i get it bro. I know you wish you had them as your grandkid instead. You tell me to achieve well in school and when i do you dont even acknowledge it. Im on track to getting an honours yet you continue to berate me about how im “underweight” and a waste of my height. Instead of being happy for me or celebrsting anything you just point out insecurities i didnt even realise i had. I genuinely just wish someone cared about me. It was my birthday and people who i thought were closest to me didnt even remember. I feel as though i have no impact to anyone and thats what scares me. If i left, nobody would genuinely care.

ENJOY YOUR DAYS OF RELIEF! I HOPE ONE DAY YOU SUFFER AND DROWN IN GUILT, SHAME, AND REGRET! GOOD LUCK FINDING YOUR NEXT EX-PARTNER TO BE!

There was only one person I wanted to date and I thought they wanted me to do things a certain way so I did but now I don’t know anymore.

This was my first time and last time “filling the void with e-girls” I played the game in the hopes of connecting with one player. I think irl is better for getting a sense of things with your person. I use the internet a lot but not really for talking with people just shitposting and reading and watching

I want to respect her boundaries and play her game I don’t want to just hit her up out of nowhere I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable I don’t want to chase her away. I like irl more but I thought online was the way she wanted to do things and there are others who use online relationships.

I don’t think I’m superior or intellectual or anything I try to think outside the box type shit but there are so many people especially at our school who are just wicked smart actual geniuses I think im smart but I wish I was smart the way they were like problem solving

Ik it’s weird to believe in virginity and sex and love as an agnostic/atheist and I’ve never been to church except to vote. When I was younger I would argue with Christians online like a Reddit atheist that’s not what I do anymore I respect all faiths.

I wish I could kill the people who made fun of me.