Everyday Life

To the person who replied to the kind minded thing. Its nice you say that, but im maybe hyper wired for it with zero outlet and it just makes me feel like a creep... thats my issue.

Why did i have to be so kink minded? Im lonely enough trying to find a regular hobby group.

I have moved out today, i had no choice , my mum is a single mother, she doesn't have money to support me , i have a school fees balance of 170,000 kenyan shillings probably i won't be accepted to school next semester ,i save enough for rent and deposit,i don't even know how i am going to sleep or eat. I have no one i can borrow money from . i am frustrated and depressed

What's something you have to deal with regularly that nobody else seems to understand? Well seems everything I say fam wants to invalidate me in it and how I feel. They're always edgy like landmines and eggshells. Also they don't get the amount of anxiety I go through on a regular basis to do normal things and errands. There's other stuff but those are just a couple

I want to be so skinny like 40kg!!!!!!!!!

i believe im still okay, and no. i can do this.

i'm so tired. but, i still have this slight hope that everything will be alright. it's just a bad day, not a bad life, right?

i dont ljkd anyone anymore and nothing brings me joy ever again. i hate everything that has become of me. everyday i spend looking thru glass anf being so off center i dont get it its like im gone

I'm being harassed by misogynistic and transphobic people, im not allowed to tell anyone my feelings I think i should die, im sure some transphobic people here would tell me to die I would but I don't wanna hurt my guardian. Even though they hurt me a lot and i dont like them that much, i dont wanna hurt them

I think all my friends hates me I've been feeling very suicidal I dont wanna make my mom sad even though she's part of the reason i wanna die so bad I really wanna die rn i wish she wouldnt care so much I have no healthy coping mechanisms, i cannot talk about my feelings to anyone, id get hated on or punished if i did

I lied to my favorite streamer Niyeko. I said my grandma called him hot one time as a joke and he saw it. For a day or two It was just me saying "Granny says hi" as a joke still but then a friend bet me and a friend $500 dollars each if we could trick him and his editor into thinking I had a freaky grandma until the end of the "Subathon" he found out today. He said he was suspicious from day one but I confirmed today it was a lie. I told him about how my grandma is not my grandma and she's my 32 year old friend. I kept repeating in chat an explanation. It was pretty much "Hi Niyeko and everyone else sorry for lying it was a bet and the bills are high so I did what I had to do. To anyone who spent money on me I'm so sorry." Because I was gifted a sub and someone spent $50 for "granny rizz." I'm changing my account name, picture, everything. It's to embarassing. I'm not using Twitch again until I can change the name in 2 months. :(

Someday I think I’m gonna kill myself and I’m scared

Everyone tells me to dream big. Okay I'm dreaming big. But now I'm dreaming to big. I have a headache from dreaming of a future for myself. I want to be an artist, storytime animator, regular animator, Vtuber, reptile breeder, snake discovery worker, streamer, YouTuber, and other things and I want to bash my head into a wall and die like WTF do you mean my brain is exhausting me with it's own thoughts of actually living a life in this world I don't want to be alive in? UGH. Anyays I'm going to spend tonight doing art of my favorite storytime animators togther, my favorite Vtubers together, and my Vtuber persona I'm hopefully going to start today. Anyways I'll check in every ten minutes or so. Bye! -Astro

Tell me what’s your biggest regret I DONT JUDGE!!

My loneliness is getting unbearable. I'm trying to get used to it, but I'm crying so often now about it

bro i feel sick. i look so fucking ugly it's crazy. my face is so dark and round and my teeth look weird. my hair looks weird like i'm ugky. the lashes don't match and look ugly. i'm fat everything is ugggglllllyyyyyyyy. i'm ugly ik so ugly. tmr morning before school im taking my lashes off or something and im kinda going to reuse my hair. i hate how ugly i look. i'm so uglyyyyy

I don't like having hypocritical neighbors. Especially when you know they act fake as a mannequin. I hate how they act. Lately I hate how my own family acts. It's always some kind of drama or whatever. They deny doing anything wrong when I'm right there I know how they act. My other fam the whole house is mad at them for the drunk they recently threw. And they seriously don't think they got drunk because they can't remember it *facepalm*. I go through so much crap it's gets so frustrating. Other fam are so stubborn they don't want to listen about things. I'm tired of the frustration to be honest. It's hard to have any peace.

I think I'm going to loose my mind if I stay isolated for much longer.

Earlier I posted a rant about my school schedule and how I’m so nervous but I think I’m okay now. Unfortunately I have to change my study hall for studio art so I can get my art credit but I have classes with almost all my friends and the same lunch period!! I’m okay now but damn my bus is coming so damn late that their won’t be any seats left on that wretched bus and then ofc I’m getting dropped off mad late too. sigh sigh sigh it could be worse tho.

Im so unhappy and feel as though life as it is, in this day and age, is not worth living. I wont commit suicide or anything like that, since I dont have the nerve to, nor do I see it as a viable answer, but still. Its so tiring to... live. The worst part is I used to have such lust for life too.