Everyday Life

I think my partner is losing feelings and I just need someone to talk to about everything going on right now

i hate that i am basically the 2nd useful/dependent person in this family. Since elementary school, i was given such parental roles and responsibilities that i have blocked from my memory and people i grew up with had to tell me that i did. Throughout high school, i could BARELY hang out with friends, i’d always get the excuse “you need to watch your siblings while im at work” and last summer (keep in mind i was 19 than and 20 now) i decided i was fed up, started “rebeling” staying out late, coming back home days later and i’ve been doing that ever since cuz im at the age where i genuinely cannot have these responsibilities stop me from living life. It’s just soooo annoying that my mom still gives me responsibilities that ANYBODY in the house is capable of (except for my younger sister) she babies everyone and here i am ready to move out (this is all over the place sorry)

I miss my German Shepherd, Madison. She passed away suddenly almost a year ago. I still expect her to jump on me when I come home and to hear her excitedly shuffling her paws on the floor as I walk in through the door. The pain comes and goes. I know I will see her someday but, damn, it is a roller coaster of emotions beginning with the joy of her memories, followed by the grief of knowing she is no longer with me, and finally ending in the assurance that we will meet again someday.

my father has a god complex. he had just warned me about how god gives HIM blessings so that he can SHARE them with the family. Essentially, saying that he is god's disciple, and that we better respect him unless we want a whooping from the big guy in the sky. He is an extreme narcissist, as he constantly screams in his room, alone, cussing out ghosts, and hitting the walls and floors with bats, not stopping until we come in and check on him. Not to mention the way he speaks about my mother. Oh boy. He believes my mother has "been possessed by satan" all because she avoids talking to him. Holy shit. Holyyyy shit. He's yelling currently, talking about who knows what. OH! Forgot to mention that he threatens to kill himself unless my mother and I start "acting nice" to him again. By the way, we are never mean in the first place. He is jobless but we let him eat OUR FOOD, use OUR AC, sleep in the house WE paid for. Jesus Christ I need this man gone.

More idiots in vehicles driving dangerously, illegally and stupidity that Qld Police continue to ignore. 12th of April 6.30pm male driver of white 4 wheel drive with bullbar and bike rack and carrying passenger, like other vehicles was not only speeding along Fairfield Rd Yeerongpilly but stopped over the pedestrians crossing at Cardross Street forcing pedestrians to walk outside the crossing.

I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m usually the kind of person who acts happy, cheerful, and like everything is okay with life, but right now it doesn’t feel real. After my girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with me, something in me just feels off and I can’t even properly understand what’s going on inside my own head. I keep wondering if I did something wrong, if I’m the problem, or if I’m just… not enough for people. My days all blur together. I wake up, go to school, sit through it, then go to work, then come home and just repeat everything again. The only thing I really do outside of that is art, and even that doesn’t always feel like it means anything. Most of the time I just end up scrolling, watching anime, reading, sleeping too much, or just laying in bed doing nothing because I feel drained in a way I can’t explain. I keep thinking about my life and it feels messy in my head. My grades aren’t good, my parents aren’t together, and I don’t really have people I feel close to anymor

No matter how hard I try, I fail. In fact, it seems the harder I try, the more I fail. At everything. It feels like I just don't even belong in this world. I seem to have problems doing things other people just do with no issues and I don't know why. I don't fit in anywhere and the whole world just doesn't seem to want me around. When I try to explain this to people no one seems to understand. They tell me to keep trying, but trying hurts because it just leads to one more inevitable failure. I don't even know if I have the energy to keep trying.

Things never get better they just keep getting worse, and I'm so tired.

Bro genuinely, suicide is always on my mind. It is so obnoxious. I hate going to school listening to all these people laugh and smile with their friends while I sit alone thinking about what id write on my suicide note. I hate living in this shit hole. I hate knowing exactly how I’m going to die. I hate that people around me are excited to hit 18 or excited to get married or wtv while I watch from the sidelines just waiting to be able to buy a gun.

i don't rly matter to anyone. i'm fine with being a loner. i've always been one. but sometimes, it does hurt seeing people you call your friends make plans with everyone but you. i try to be nice to them. i get them gifts, etc for their birthdays. not once have i gotten a gift from any of them before. that's fine. i don't rly care about my birthday that much as it's just another day. but yeah, they could at least take ten seconds out of their day to send a text or smth. idk. lately i've just been wondering what the point of anything is. yeah, get the degree, get a job, then what? there doesn't seem to be any point except to just conform to the model life society has set out for us and that everyone expects us to follow. idk if i just don't want to live or if i don't want to live in a mold that brings me no satisfaction. why do i think about things like this? i care too much for others and they don't seem to care back. why must i put in the effort only to be hurt time and time again?

I think I’m finally done loving more than I’ll ever be loved. I’m tired of this fucking disorder, there’s nothing worse in life than being a borderline piece of shit. I’m just so tired, I think I genuinely want to kill myself rn.

I don't really know what to type in right now because I just can't explain what I'm feeling and been going through, but I'll try my best to rant. I really don't know what to do with my life, I lost the motivation in everything, and I feel really guilty for not being able to help my family. I'm just like a lazy person living alone while my family is in another city, working.

how am i supposed to live like this? i wanna die, throw myself off a bridge, or onto traffic, or off a building, or hang myself off my air conditioner on the roof with notes pinned onto my body talking about all the apologies, all the regrets, everything i hated when i was alive. but i cant bring myself to holding a sharp sculpting tool when i feel like that, or holding a cutting knife for paper. i wanna die but im scared of death. it has to be one or the other, but im scared of the idea that if my hope that ill just reincarnate is false, and that ill just be brought to hell is the only thing seemingly keeping me alive, and the idea that it would hurt. SH feels like an in-between. I can feel the pain from outside, but not die myself. I don't cut myself. i just whack my head cuz i dont like seeing scars. im scared people would only tell me off or get upset, saying that im too privileged to want to die, that im ungrateful. i dont want to be here anymore. no school, and no life. i hate it

I don’t wanna die but i don’t wanna live like this

I genuinely don't want to continue living anymore. Everything that used to make me happy feels like nothing and I barely feel happy anymore. Every single time any of my family pets die my parents just spring it on us randomly and expect us to go to school like everything's normal and barely give me time to grieve. Our dog that's only like 8 months old just died and I can hear my mother laughing downstairs like nothing has happened. I hate school because the teachers don't give a shit about anyone's mental health and keep putting pressure on everything to do loads of things for homework in like a day. I genuinely don't want to stay alive anymore and don't think I can continue mentally. Best case I'll just rot in bed for a day or two and then get forced to go to school.

I don't even know what im feeling. Tired ig, burnt out. I wasn't really feeling it today i don't want to eat, I don't feel like it and hunger didn't hit me. I forced myself to take a bath because it was too hot but i didn't really want to get up. I just stayed in the room almost the whole day. I feel bored and just sad ig.

The middle east is a miserable place

I just need to rest. Everything is getting too heavy. It's just like I can't control my feelings anymore, and I'm afraid of everything. I have a lot of work to do, and not enough time, nor motivation to do any of it. I just tried to bottle it all up by laughing it up, but it doesn't work anymore, and my friends are all noticing something's wrong and asking questions I don't know how to answer, because I don't understand this either. How do I explain to someone what's so satysfying about harming your self because you just can't hurt others? One friend told me something similar, so I wanted to tell her what I did and show her that I understood perfectly and she was not alone, but words didn't come out again

I'm tired physically, emotionally and mentally. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to ease my tiredness with cutting my hair because I can't cut my wrist. Life is so unfair, why do I have to shoulder everything. It's not even my responsibility. I've been working for years, I have to give up studies to work and support them but then even just a day where I can be at peace. They just can't seem to give it to me. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost with the things going on.

My wife and I moved in with her grandfather a while ago and after the time I've spent living with both of them, I really want to live alone. I feel overwhelmed by the chores. I'm cooking for them, doing their dishes and their laundry, while maintaining the house in general. I don't mind doing all that stuff but I feel like it'd irk me less if it was just my own. I've tried leaving them to do their own things but it just doesn't get done, and piles up for me. I honestly feel like I'd me a much happier person if I got a small place for just me and my puppy.