want to escape from reality

i feel like ive just been lagging behind in life so much and ive been struggling to process and say things these days </3 additionally my sh addiction has been getting a trillion times worse and theres nothing i can do to stop it other than ending my life

idk why but i cant do anything without a constant need to worry abt my situations for example i'd be playing chess but i would be a nervous ball of wreck thinking about my progress or my driving test in a few days i hate having this type of mindset but I cant help it no matter how much I admire or follow those people with the "growth mindset" It seems to me I cant get the anxiety off my chest

I'm so mad right now I feel like I can't think straight and it hurts so much. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and OCD along with my preexisting anxiety, and it's like I can't form a single coherent thought. All of these ideas and things I need to do are bouncing around in my head and I just want to scream. I need to do so many things but I can't engage and feel like I physically cannot do anything about it. I miss when life was simple and it didn't pain me to think for too long. I wish i had a normal brain and could focus and just listen for one goddamn second because my brain is so screwed. I wish that life didn't suck and for one second I could be happy and get out of my head for longer than 5 minutes. I wish my parent's cared enough to do something about it and that I wouldn't have to live sitting in pain and silence that I cover up with jokes and pretend that everything is fine and I'm not dying to escape to some far off place where I could just be happy. i wish for so, so much.

I am planning to leave my fat, neckbearded, loser landlords as they're holding me back from cooking for myself and actively hinder my progress while stealing my food. They're even doing bitch shit like "I'm sorry IF I stole your food" except his girlfriend already confirmed he stole my food and "got confused". I'm only scared they'll retaliate as I send them my self-30-day-notice and intended final day of rent. If there's no trouble terming my tenancy here so I can go to a place where nobody steals my food or knocks on the bathroom door at 1am, I'd be so happy. I am conflicted though, as my new landlord will be more strict and will divvy the utilities between us, but at minimum, it's 50 bucks less than what I'm paying for now, and the place is pristinely clean.

I’ve dealt with chronic illness for almost 2 years now, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to die so much. It feels so draining to not feel well most days. It’s like it’s become my normal to not feel well. It sucks when everything’s heightened from being sick. But, some days I wish I hadn’t woken up because I feel so awful. Honestly I wouldn’t even be upset if I never woke up. I’m only 18 yet it feels like I’m not even living most of the time

i feel weak 7 24 physically and i cant concentrate on anything and idk what to do w exams idk what else to say

having a lot of intrusive thoughts right now. i just want them gone. i hate being mentallty ill.

Hello stranger, I'm so tired of acads, I know my grades doesn't define who I am, but I want to make my parents proud.

It was damn French yet again

I'm so tired of going through life, being dragged around and basically slammed into things, I'm sick of my parents who are just... My dad is okay with people being deported, and is just generally kind of unpleasant to be around sometimes, my mother has gotten angrier over the years, and all I've done is watch them be these ways, unable to really talk back, In fact I've been such a *good*, *quiet*, son to them that I can't FUCKING SCREAM OR YELL ANYMORE. I hate being their "perfect" child. While I haven't set any track records or own my own business, I'm "normal" to them. They treat my differently because I didn't just come from my mother, that I haven't really shown signs of "pretending to be a girl" or whatever the fuck they're on about these days. I hate myself for sometimes using Ai chatbots it's just... It's one of the few things that shuts off my brain, lets me stare and write and read absolute slop for a couple hours. I know how bad it is and I want to stop, what would help?

Someone got chased by vehicles attempting to crash them and the police won't believe them. Genuinely what is the point in police and laws at that point? I am sick of humans. Something needs to reap us.

My random episodes of sadness for some reason whenever things don't go my way

I never really felt peace and ease. I just saw the young left and old right. But what am I? But who am I to speak of this? Never cried mom for comfort but of fear. Daddy was never here. Text and call and then he's gone. Waiting and waiting. How long do I have to be waiting cried the center. "Don't be so impatient you can't be a nurse with impatient." It's disrespect. I'm who I am. Not who you are... Switch and flip my expressions flip. One to another satisfied for them but one of them. No real childhood. I'm still a teen. But my mother will never seemingly support my dreams. I can't wear this. I can't wear that. I can't be the greatest that I am at that. No straight a's no straight relationships. Will my life end before my own birthday hits. Fourteen to fifth teen. I can't handle it anymore. Ruined life and home. I wasn't even born yet. I don't think I'll regret what will happen next. I feel empty. I feel sad. I don't know how to react. Is that bad?..

Doctor's appointment got rescheduled three times. I just want to know what's wrong with me, but the healthcare system makes it so difficult.

The gym is packed every time I try to go. I just want to work out in peace without waiting 20 minutes for a machine.

My doctor dismissed my symptoms again. 'It's probably just stress.' Maybe, but what if it's not? I feel unheard.

Haven't slept well in weeks. I'm running on fumes and coffee. My brain won't shut off when I need it to.

My back hurts from sitting all day. I'm 28 and I feel like I'm 80. This can't be normal, right?

Mental health days should be normalized. Sometimes I need a break just to breathe, but I feel guilty taking time off.