Mental health, stress, anxiety, and the challenges of taking care of yourself
What is an anonymous rant? →Read the topic guides on burnout and loneliness.
Update on: post 3812 I still feel like this, it's gotten better but I still feel it on bad days I don't experience attraction I think or struggle with it which has made me fear I am what I said in the post, I think I had a porn addiction growing up.. because I was exposed to NSFW at 11-12 and sort of fell down that rabbit hole. It's better now I'm not trying to "fix" my asexuality at least haha...
I want to starve myself, to stay awake even if I want to sleep. There's a voice, a thought telling me to kill myself, to starve, to stay up late, to tear at my skin, that I'm a burden, that I'm pathetic.
The world is so sick. I want to end things for myself despite telling myself to continue and that through faith in God i will make it through and yet despite this i feel like im so lonely and unreliable. I hate the feeling of being alone, i really need someone in my life i can talk to and yet i feel as though anyone i ask would get freaked out by my venting and leave me just like everyone else did. I try to get myself to get up and do things like work out or even just relax and read a book and yet i cant. I loved those two things so much, yet im hurting inside so much i want to explode.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I feel like this sound really immature but i just feel so ignored, like a floater friend that nobody genuinely likes. Aside from that, my family relations suck too. My grandma always compares me to my perfect cousin like i get it bro. I know you wish you had them as your grandkid instead. You tell me to achieve well in school and when i do you dont even acknowledge it. Im on track to getting an honours yet you continue to berate me about how im “underweight” and a waste of my height. Instead of being happy for me or celebrsting anything you just point out insecurities i didnt even realise i had. I genuinely just wish someone cared about me. It was my birthday and people who i thought were closest to me didnt even remember. I feel as though i have no impact to anyone and thats what scares me. If i left, nobody would genuinely care.
for anyone who wants to know what shifting realities are like, here. I’ve been trying to shift again but I’ve been having a hard time, though I wanted to prove shifting right/wrong in 2023 and managed to do it on my first try. I didn’t script anything and I don’t think I even used a method, I either did robotic affirmations or countdown in my head maybe? 😓 anyway I guess I like swung up from a tree branch? I don’t know. I saw like a glowing orb and it didn’t speak to me but I knew what it was saying yk? I was panicking and said I wanna go back because I recognized that it wasn’t a dream, like it felt different. it very much felt like I was in another realm. Like its weird cus I was on a damn tree branch and the sky was like perfect and blue with some clouds here and there and then there was a glowing orb or I guess spirit in front of me? im spiritually gifted so I definitely believe in this stuff but Ik it sound SO surreal. I mean the crazier it sounds the closer you are to the truth?
I’ve been limiting my calories and carbs for over a week, I’ve lost ~4.5lbs in 7 days I know what I’m doing isn’t very healthy but I’m so tired of looking at myself. I know BMIs scientifically aren’t very good but I can’t stop myself from looking at them. I can’t stop myself from going on the scale. I’m so hungry and tired. I hate my body and who I am
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I have a lot of issues with myself. The biggest i have is not being able to interact with people. I cant start conversations with people i dont already know, and even when people start conversations with me, I cant think of anything to say and the conversation just ends up falling off very quickly. I want to talk to people and I wanna be social, but I just can't and I dont know how to fix it. If there's someone I think is cool, or am interested in, I cant get myself to talk to them, I just end up sitting there and imagining what potential conversations could be like. Another issue i have is I assume everyone's judging me all the time. I try to tell myself that no one actually cares, and they're doing their own thing, but im also a very judgemental person. Not outwardly, I dont say it or let it mess with anything, but I still judge often, and I assume people do the same for me.
So, I’m going to an anime convention soon. My fuck ass father bought an Airbnb that was way to small, he didn’t ask me, and now I’m crying in my room, wanting to cut myself because I have a test tomorrow for theatre that I didn’t study. I want to kill myself right now and I’m in a minority (trans/non binary, and I’m pansexual, and alt which is a style not a minority but still) and he supports THE FUCKING ROTTING ORANGE! And he embarrassed me by saying they at an open house thing for school. I genuinely need friends or anyone to help me with this cause I’ll feel bad if I tell my partners(were polyamorous so it’s not cheating) because they don’t know that I’m taking autism diagnosis soon. So yeah, also in case anyone wants to be online friends my discord is St4rZy_32 or St4rZy32. My age range is 12-16 as my age is in it. I will make this clear, I don’t care how old you are as long as it’s not freaky or something.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I struggle with social anxiety disorder to the point that Im so scared of being judged that I can't reach out when I want to talk to someone. right now I'm finding it really difficult to keep going but everyone around me doesn't know anything because I'm too afraid to tell them. inside I know if I do tell them it would be okay but I'm too scared something will go bad. it gets better when I'm at school because of our uniform, it makes everyone look similar but everyone there is horrible, Ive heard the things even my best friends say about each other and it makes me terrified to think about the things they say about me.
I've started self-harming again. It's been 7 years since I started getting treatment for my mental health. It was going great until my insurance fucked me over. My adhd meds ran out, my antidepressants ran out, and I could only afford the HRT. I'm back on insurance, but my therapist won't see me until I pay the outstanding bills. I'm using my thigh and a fuckin plastic butter knife. I keep it in my purse. They're all on my thigh, because I can hide that easily. Even my girlfriend won't see it cause she knows I've got bottom dysphoria. They hurt. I limp sometimes when I'm done. One line at a time, not enough to bleed. Nobody has noticed that. They're more concerned about my OCD compulsions and who would ever expect me to be the self-harm type. This sucks
Hey so idk if ppl can read this. ive been struggling w an ed. im currently 13, 161 cm and 45kg. in 7th grade and im the same weight since 5th. im terrified of gaining weight as im always known as skinny i eat 1 maybe 2 meals and work out everyday to keep my image up.i also think about k1lling myself a lot i really dont know what to do. ive tried to "not care" abt my weight but i do i fucking do. i tried going into a normal diet but i cant i feel sick and guilty after eating and i feel like im gonna vomit if i think abt food. its been heard and ive had this since 11 yr old. ive always judged myself even as a 6 yr old. and that was abt my drawing not being good enough so id throw them away. i cant stop ive tried, theres literally nothing i can do
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Anyone ever feel bad for just thinking your depressed, I can imagine people have it way worse than me out there but I just feel so sad and lost with my life, but I also feel guilty feeling like this cause people just say it’s things like hormones or everyone goes through that stage but I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, I’ve lost almost all my friends, my mentality and the way I see people has been completely ruined by years of porn addiction and masturbating, I barely leave my house, I don’t take care of myself anymore and I just feel so empty. I’m sorry if there’s random bits in here I’m just trying to get stuff off my mind one way or another, I hope everyone else is doing well and finding happiness in life that I can’t find
My wife’s had severe headaches for over a month now. Tons of doctor visits and now she’s getting a cat scan!! Scared beyond belief for her and our kids! We pray it’s just migraines.
i have an sti and it has gone undetected and untreated for at LEAST a year. I was never properly educated on sti’s, only pregnancy so i was having unprotected sex while taking bc thinking it would protect me. i was wrong.
I’m so tired of feeling like I have to be okay all the time. I’m expected to do well, be mature, keep everyone happy, and somehow never struggle. But I’m still a kid. I get overwhelmed. I get hurt. I have feelings too. I feel like I’m constantly being compared to other people, and no matter what I do, it’s never quite enough. I can do well at school and still feel like a failure. I can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. I’ve been through things I don’t really talk about, and sometimes it feels like nobody notices how much I’m carrying. I’m tired of keeping everything inside because talking about it just feels like it’ll cause more problems. I don’t want attention. I just want someone to actually notice that I’m struggling and care without me having to completely fall apart first.