All Rants

I'm starting to accept the fact that I will never be good enough in his eyes. I will never be who he needs or wants me to be..

I can't stand how it's normal for adults to be so emotionally unregulated they think it's a sign of trust to unilaterally burden other people with their deepest insecurities and expect the other person to be an on-demand source of reassurance. It feels almost inevitable I become someone's therapist in a relationship or an object of obsession. I don't want to be chased or held up on a pedestal. I don't want to fill the void in someone's life because I will never, ever be enough to fix it- it has to be resolved by that person themselves.

I want to forgive. But I can't. I want to just forget it ever happened but I can't !! The trust is 100% gone. Been together 11 years and it feels like its just all down the drain. I hate myself because I got cheated on. How does that make sense? I keep going over everything in my mind and just keep thinking if I would of did something different none of this would of happened ... I hope it gets easier. And I hope I can stop bringing it up. That's all for today.

My parents have been divorced since I was 6(I'm 11-15 now) and I still hear the echo of they're shouts it once got so bad I slept in the same room of my sister and it really stressed me tbh and my dad's visiting soon and I can't get the stuff out if my head when I see him..

I have an app that I'm not supposed to have and my parents have no idea. And I have a girlfriend and three best friends and I'm a way diffrent person and it's making me really stressed.

Tw for self harm. I recently relapsed with self harm after being clean for two months- i feel like such a loser because of it. I was doing well and now not only am I back at the start, but I dont want to try staying clean- I want to stay relapsed. Its so frustrating and I cant tell anyone about it either

I just feel so stressed sometimes about my relationship with my boyfriend. He's so sweet, and caring, but god I hate how every now and again hes telling me about his friends, and somehow theres almost always a misogynistic joke they're making with each other. Its not major ones, but the vibe is still there. I hate that I genuinely love him and he does that- i feel so heartbroken

How do you stop overthinking? I really wish I knew. If I stopped giving a fuck about every single detail I think my life would improve drastically lol

I don't wanna study anymore, but I really need it due to midterm this week. Especially it's my major. I really wanna take a break but absolutely I cannot. I tried those methods where you break it and rest, but I just think it's a lot to do and that method does not work. I wanted to get motivated but of course it's impossible. I really want to quit school and just work, but my sisters told me not to because work is much more gonna burn you out. I'm also bad at stats, I wish I could learn it but I can. I passed my other exams, but I feel like my friends are pitying me because they both got a almost perfect scores...

cont... its not going to fix itself. Find healthy outlets, like this, that makes u feel like u let some weight off ur shoulders. DO NOT hurt urself...its not cool having psychomotor issues when ur older b/c u thought it was cool slitting ur wrists when u were 15 or some shit...ya thats ONE issue that can happen if u cut, cant even grab a controller, type on a keyboard, or pinch a thread or coin or some shit. Or have organ failure when u downed some pills or did too many drugs...yea so fun..w.e content that ur absorbing saying that self harm is cool dont tell u that when u get older ur body fails on u b/c of things u did when u were younger...yea so cool when u have random shots of pain from ur body b/c u self harmed x years ago. U will know..