Throughout my childhood, I was constantly ostracized and shamed for my height and weight, as I was a huge kid surrounded by mostly small Asian kids. I was bullied, excluded from games, and beaten up by older kids in the school when i tried to include myself. It made me feel like shit for many years, thinking I could never be loved. I was told at a young age by teachers and parents that I was seen as dangerous to the kids due to my size. I was always twice the height and weight of everyone else, and everyone assumed I was a bad kid due to my ADHD and dyslexia always getting me in trouble for being to squirmy and having bad grades. I have wanted to kill myself since I was 10, but haven’t, hoping and praying that someone will come to save me, but no one has. I’m 17 now and have made no forward movement as to be able to be confident in my own skin, and have no friends.
Recent Rants
Backstory: My grandma and uncle own my home, have been trying to get it in my husband and I's name for 3 years now, never got done but was promised. 2 days ago my house flooded, I have a 5 month old and had to evacuate, got moved into my mother in laws home and have our basics for us and our son. My grandma calls me today, 2 DAYS after being displaced asking if we were done with the home yet because they already have a buyer... Couldn't transfer it to us over 3 years but can suddenly find time to sell it?? and try to rush us out KNOWING we're struggling and displaced?? So called family.
I hurt people and i get mad and i call people names but i really just want to be hugged to sleep or just have silent company. I want someone to look at me and spread their arms out for me to come and hug. I want someone to care for me. But that wont ever work out for me isnt it. Im never gonna find someone like that. Im just crazy
It feels like there’s a cinder block on my chest. I’m just so tired. I can’t do Anything! I’m not good at Anything!! I’m so incredibly mediocre. Nothing is mine. I don’t feel real, nothing feels real. I’m just so tired. Can’t I just have one nice thing?
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
i just wish i had confirmation that there is actually something wrong with me. i feel like my "condition" isnt real and that its nothing serious or worth actually getting worried about
I hate myself so much I just wanna kms. school is starting up for me and school is just hell on earth. I fail academically (failing almost every class) and I get bullied by the popular kids. I just hate it so much I want it all to end. I don’t even have any friends this world sucks. Just end me already
Im so scared of speaking up to my mom. Im scared of being yelled at or being left outside again. Im scared of being critized and called delusional and crazy because she doesnt believe in mental issues.
i have so much subconscious thoughts about my weight, my food, and the calories. i think im developing an ED.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
First, Daveigh Chase. Then, Jason Arday. Now, Hayden Panettiere. Why do these people have to die now? Why couldn't it be Donald Trump?!
I used to be very smart, i used to be the one teachers ask me to go around and teach others. Now im struggling and falling behind in school because i come home at 5, i try to study but im just so fucking tired and i have no motivation. I have chores to do and dogs to feed. Im just so so so soo tired
My mom's mother is kinda sexist ig. Shes stuck in the past where men are priority. She feeds her sons first and leaves all the vegetables for my mom. I get that hee childhood wasnt very good. But i hate how she babies ne and constantly worries, or probes inti my persobal space. Ive told her many times i felt uncomfortable but she just says "im your mom and were family, i can do whatever" or something like that. I know she just wants to have a close relationship and she cares about me but i just feel very annoyed. I hate sharing my food, especially when they dont ask and dive right in. It makes me lose my appetite and i dont want to eat anymore but since its my mom and if i say i dont want to eat it anymore, she'll definitely get mad and ask if i value our family. I dont have privacy anywhere either not when i shower, not when im changing, they all come in except for my dad and older brother(i have another brother but were practically the same age and he has no discipline)
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
just fucking hate people who keep interrupting me when i speak and then i forget what i want to say and it gives me a feeling of frustration
Are you that cool? That dog is so full of itself—it’s as if it doesn’t want to be treated that way. Control your emotions first; don’t act like you’re so valuable and then treat others however you please. You’re a dog with a sharp tongue—you’re basically a snake, a dog, or even an animal—you’re worse than all of them.
Ive had a girlfriend for awhile but are relationship has been rocky she cheated on me and stuff for I met this girl at camp and she liked me back and we hungout and it was great but now shes just not sure and talking about how she wants to keep me around but talk to other people so I just wonder why im not enough
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
i dont understand why i have to always give for people when they ask for something but i never get what i ask for. im always used for something. im just a label to my boyfriend, im like a leech attached to my best friend, and im just the grouchy angry daughter my parents never asked for. i just want something in return. im always giving in my relationship but everytime i ask i get an excuse and the opposite of what i want. i have no friends. im super socially awkward. nobody likes me. im weird. im childish. im hella immature. i just wanna be the first positive thing someone thinks about and not the first negative thing. now im the boring one after i vented out all my feelings saying how i just want youre time and attention. im the one not making anything exciting even after i get all excited to talk to you about something or hear from you. i just want your time and attention and i want you to the same way about me.
i'm scared i'm not gonna meet the standards everyone around me thinks i can reach. my family is known for being very big (9 in total) and all of my siblings are very studious. i'm the 2nd youngest and i'm worried that my teachers are disappointed that i don't precede my reputation, especially since they have taught my siblings before me. its even worse because i think they are more impressed with my younger sister who they are teaching now. i just think im an outsider compared to my siblings and it makes me sadder that i don't fit in anywhere, even with my own family.
I feel like no one sees/cares just how miserable I am. Ive literally been isolating myself and crying myself to sleep to sleep for the past 2 weeks. I hate that I feel like this. I hate feeling like I have to hide how depressed I am bc I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone.
i feel like there is NO ONE on the other side of my eyes. if you get what i mean. people arent real. there actions or there expressions dont matter because they dont exist. nothing matters