Top Rants of the Week

i want to kill myself, but can't bring myself to do it because i know people care about me. i don't want to hurt, but it gets to a point where i just cant take it anymore

I feel like none of my friends actually give a fuck about my interests. I always try to accommodate them, and reciprocate their interests all the time. Even if I have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about, or I have zero interest in truly immersing myself in their interests, I still try to hold space for them. But every time I try to verbalize what I like, every time I try and talk to people about something that interests me, I get regularly met with nothing. It’s so consistent that I’ve even taken notice of three default responses. It’s either ‘that’s cool’ and then immediately changing the topic, a noise of acknowledgement in response to the act of me speaking, or silence. Dead, uncomfortable silence, like I’ve just said something embarrassing. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I just want someone to talk to. I would go out and try to engage with other people, but the times I’ve tried that in the past has resulted in horrific trauma for me. I feel so utterly lost.

Oh my god, I’m having a panic attack, I had the shittest morning, woke up at 4am just to have a 4 hour long argument with my parents, went to school and WHAT THE FUCK?? 7 HOURS OF MY PERSONAL SPACE INVADED, FUCKING BULLIED, AND PICKED ON, at home… yeah it continues on MY PARENTS ARE STILL FUCKING MAD, I APOLOGISED AND EVERYTHING. NOW THIS MIGHT EVEN REPEAT TOMORROW OR THE ENTIRE WEEK

Everybody's friend no one's favorite. Floater friend here. I always seem to adjust my personality around different friend groups that die out within a month. Recently someone's been taking my friend group away and made rumors about me. Even one of my really close friends started to make fun of me and now my trust issues have become stronger than before. The fact that they're in school and id have to see them everyday pisses me off and I want a break from them, but I'd be alone. I can't even trust my parents because I know they'd tell their friends about it. They'd always tell me to toughen up but atp I need therapy badly. I've experienced this my whole entire life and alll I want is a true friend. I haven't contacted some of my day ones for so long that I think they forgot about me. I just wish to disappear and restart my life. I'm tired of being nice and I snap at people sometimes. The only way I cope with this is by deleting social apps and have an account where no one follows me.

it feels like im excluded from something everyone else has, no matter what i do im too much or not enough or just simply weird? i dont understand. its so confusing because people that are “worse” than me are more loved and cherished rather rhan me i try my best im a decent person so what the hell is wrong with me ? im already disgusting with horrible coping mechanisms because nobody will fucking help me, they say they will but they dont when i actually go to them they just say theyre here for me when they arent and i hate lying shits i hate it so much i hate how theres a label on me that says oh you can hate them ! simply because they feel off compared to others i hate it so much

I just wish I had someone. Someone who I could call mine. And someone who could call me theirs. Why can’t you trust anyone? Why is everyone a liar? Is anyone a decent person anymore? Does anyone care anymore? Is there anyone out there for me? I need it. So bad. I’m so sick of this shit. Feeling so unwanted. I need to feel like I’m special, and not expendable.

I am starting to develop extreme hate feelings towards certain people

I dont think anyone cares for me deeply. Yes I am seeking attention right now, it is what i crave most. I long for people to have their eyes on me. Sometimes people even show interest in me, yet after a little back and forth they'll find that im awkward. Why can't I find someone to like me? Most of my friends see me as awkward too and I can tell. I am even farther from a romantic partner. Oh why can't people just give me attention? My previous vent on here didn't receive many reactions, which only made me feel worse. Just a bunch of "Hang in there!", which holds good intention but feels like shit when you just expressed how much you wish to be gone from this miserable place.

I feel like a burden to my parents. Like, I can't explain how fucked up I feel when I don't do something their way. I also feel like I don't belong anywhere, like I'm some kind of disappointment and mistake that shouldn't be here. I did this to myself, mostly, I push people away, I talk shit, I can't eat or sleep and I can't even get motivated to get up and do something. It feels like the world would be better without me in it, like the sun will shine more after my funeral. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting? Or maybe I'm not.. I'm not sure. I wish I was like other girls, like not being insecure, having confidence in everything and being nice. It's hard to try and be something you're not just to feel human. But it doesn't help me. It makes me feel worse about myself. I only want support and a will to be alive, but I can't find it. Yes I have friends who listen to me vent, but they dont get it. I wish people understood how difficult it is to stay clean and be happy

I just want to take the time to encourage someone who really needs it. You’re beautiful, you have purpose, you’re stronger than you think and it will get better. Sometimes, when life is hard we can only see what’s in front of us, but always remember that seasons change and one day you’ll be healed, whole and happy. Keep working at it. You have the ability to change your future. Don’t let anyone dictate your value because self worth is an intrinsic value that cannot be measured. You’re born with the reality that you are worthy of love, kindness, forgiveness and acceptance and people who don’t care to show you those things are not worthy of you and that’s ok :) Keep fighting for a better tomorrow.

i hate being chronically ill and having to constantly choose what to sacrifice just to keep my head above water, and I hate that I still can't keep up with other people and will never be able to. academic burnout is so horrible, while my life consists of budgeting my energy like either showering or eating a cooked meal. i wish i was terminally ill instead or just dead but im too scared of actually killing myself. i don't want to live that way

Sometimes I just wish I had that one person in life I could do anything with. I want that best friend but I feel like I’m at the age where everybody already has one and I’m just here. I’m too weird to be normal and fit in but I’m too normal to be weird. I don’t have anywhere I belong —I float. I wish I had someone that was my ride or die, someone that I could do anything with. I just want to exist without being alone. Out of the billions of people on the planet, I just want to find one person for me.

lowkey.... whats even the point in living anymore......

My brother abuses me and gets me in trouble when I snap at him for hurting me. I also got sexually assaulted in a bathroom stall with a "friend" I have to deal with getting sexualized, I can't eat without wanting to vomit, and I have to hurt my self just to keep some anger inside. I don't know how much longer I can handle this...

im terrified as i type this rn bc my dad just got back in the house but im scared he’ll do something bc he was drunk the other night and pulled out a pocket knife at my mom. luckily my uncle was there so nothing escalated but there’s no witnesses to stop anything from happening now and i don’t want him in the house im crying silently i feel like i have nobody to save me bc she doesnt want the law to get involved, she was the one who opened that door i feel so hopeless and stupid

i hate how quickly i start spiraling whenever i've disappointed someone. i'm 25 and still haven't officially graduated high school. need to finish ONE course and i'm free. i've applied for this course AT LEAST 4 times. i'm tired. both of myself and everyone else who's trying to be ""helpful"" but usually just makes me feel x10 more miserable, like i'm CHOOSING to stay where i am, like i LIKE essentially being a high school dropout who's working a fulltime below minimum wage job. i'm so so so fucking tired of everything and everyone all the time.

You know... I came here to vent and was curious about how other people were doing and even though whats going on in my life is horrible. I see what these people wrote, what YOU all feel and think of yourselves and life and I just want to say...you are all important, loved, valued, and appreciated. It May be hard to see and/ or understand but its true.. There is so much out there to see, experience and learn..and even though yes the world can ve horrible...its also very beautiful and inspiring and so are the people. It won't always be as bad as it is...nor will it always be good. But with the right people and mindset you can quite literally accomplish anything you set your mind too. It definately won't be easy but it doesn't stay hard forever. Life is a lesson but also a joy and there are people and God (whether you're religious or not, no matter your affiliation) who are there to support you...also let people surprise you in a good way. Dont be scared to take risks or to open up. 🙏💙

I just wish I could just die already. My friends are telling me they would miss me but, oh my gosh I don’t know if I could continue living my life. I don’t know if it will get better. I used to think it would, but now? It’s just too much for me. Dangit. I feel so selfish thinking this.

Sometimes i feel numb. I don’t want to feel numb I hate how when my friends and i are laughing about something silly or a joke and i randomly stop laughing because i wonder why thats funny and suddenly i cant see the funny part anymore, the annoying part is i dont do it on purpuse it just happens i just randomly stop laughing and then the thinking starts its exhausting to smile sometimes

Oh my god, I HATE swallowing pills! I have to have 5 or 6 a night. Some nights, I can have all of them in one go, no trouble at all. Other nights, I have to swallow a ton, and even then they still don't go down! I try to have one at a time, but NO, it STILL doesn't work! And when it finally works, I can feel it scraping my throat in all the wrong places. Why can't vitamins be liquid, or at least soft?

I lost the geographical lottery and I don't like being a girl. If I don't make it out, I will kill myself.

im so done. I tried killing myself (for the third time by the way) I ended up in the hospital and then they put me in the metal ward and put me on 3 different pills for depression andxiety adhd and sleep. I feel like I'm going insane! I can't do this anymore! I just wanna die! Is that too much to ask? And when I talk about it people say, but your friends will miss you! (What friends?) But your dad will miss you! (You mean my abusive alcoholic father?) But what about your mom! (She got mad that I was cutting and when I talk to her about it she just tells me not to! She also always yells at me) but what about your siblings!? (Last night my sister told me she can't wait until I successfully commit one day and she said she hated me) there is nothing led to live for! My grades? Gone. My friends and family? I either have none, I can't trust them, they don't care or they are the reason for wanting this! I don't need more pills or 30 new doctors or therapists I WANNA DIE DAMMIT!

i hate the way i look and how people have to perceive me everyday. i felt like this all my life but since i got a boyfriend 7 months ago, all of these thoughts started worsening. i keep asking myself how could someone love everything about me, how could he be attracted to me. this goes with friends too, how could they hang out with me without judging me or feeling disgusted by me? i feel like i’m in the wrong body, like i can’t ever feel right because of how i look and how i act. i disgust myself. these past few days i kept ignoring people, rejecting them, i don’t understand what i’m feeling. i don’t deserve them, especially my boyfriend who has gone through so much because of all the heavy things about me that i said to him. i even end up getting angry at him when he has done nothing. i feel so guilty doing all this to someone i love. i’m lucky that all my close relatives are willing to help me, but it is never enough. i hope all i’m feeling right now is just a phase as usual.

My life has been a lot recently. From marking psychologist appointments to finally try and get an autism diagnosis at the age of 18, to trying to get a job to save money to move away from my dad who is a verbally aggressive man who has inappropriate behaviors with me when drunk and had sexually abused me in the past. I had an attack two days ago where I just started crying and hitting myself and pulling my own hair. It's like everything in my life is suddendly moving into a big, growing snowball and I'm becoming so tired. I feel constantly anxious, tired and fall asleep randomly through the day no matter how well I sleep. It's making me function less and less each day; I genuinely used to function better as a CHILD. I'm tired.

i was so much younger than i thought i was.

Everyone who knows me, Tony? They want me to get my PhD. I hope you lose your job in the next year without my help.

I'm literally the odd one out I cant do it anymore

i look so happy but in the inside idk how to tell people but i fell so left out i always see videos of people having plenty friends . well , i have friends but i wanna just call them fake friends they back stab me again and again , it went on 3rd to 4th grade , not until i lost someone someone who i tell my feelings ,my day ,my anger on people i call him dad cuz his family , he adopted me from my mother cause we lived away from each other and my entire childhood was there , he suffered to a lot cuz he was sick after i knew he was gone already i sobbed everyday thinking i wabt to die , i skipped school for a week my class send me condolenses after just 1 month they back stab me again , i have a bff but she will just snitch on me. :((

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I get so angry sometimes. It’s like I just explode, or can’t take it anymore. I don’t like to blame people, but sometimes it feels so good to. I think my parents are what causes most of my anger. They don’t understand how I feel even though I’ve told them so many times. They expect me to be how they want me to be. I’m scared to see how they’ll react if I tell them I’m not straight. My friends at school are fine. I’ve told them more than I have to my parents. But most of the time, I don’t know what tot say to them. It’s like my brain has this filter, and I always think about what to say. I’m so scared people will think I’m boring when I don’t have anything fun to say because it’s happened b4. Is this social anxiety? Today I told my parents to shut up because I was just so pissed at them. I know it was the wrong thing to say at that time, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Sometimes I cut myself. My wrists have scars. My hands have scars. I’m scared of pain but I like it so much.

been dealing with ptsd unmedicated and the prolonged stress/anxiety (from absolutely everything in life) has caused physical heart issues. have to see a cardiologist and a psychologist. both incredibly expensive?! i can’t believe this is where i ended up. gotta keep the faith i guess.

I hate it that my pet is getting old and won’t be around for all my life. People say it’s only a parrot and pull myself together. Really depressed thinking about it as she loves me unconditionally and never judges. Don’t want her to get old and leave me

hey so you know that feeling when you want to cry but no tears are coming out? That's me right now. My year has been absolute rat shit. I'm not even kidding. So first, my grandma has cancer and might die soon, my dad has moved out and is not allowed to contact me. My mother is very depressed and crying all the time, I'm starting to relapse in suicide ideation and cutting, and I'mm just getting to the point to where i'm starting to think that if I died , no one would care.

My father raped me when I was 7. I’ve been abused for 16 years. I am 16 and it’s still ongoing. He’s in prison now but we lost the house and now live in my mothers moms basement.. I don’t have a room. You go down the stares and there is 2 room a bathroom and a laundry room. My mom gets a room. My two youngest siblings get a room. Me and my two other sisters share the living space. No privacy. I was shoved into the corner. With no room. No storage. No where to put anything. I’ve always had to share a room but this is way worse than what I did have. I was beyond i for what I used to have…even if it was while being in a toxic house raped and abused. There are no curtains.. and my sister is a fucking creep…I’m stuck in the middle of my mother and sister fighting. They vent to my constantly. But never ask if I’m okay. They always say I’m the issue. Or talk shit about me behind my back. And now I have to deal with not being cared about. I watched the kids. Cook. Clean. I can’t take it…💔

I was SA'ed by my uncle....i really wanna myself....

I’m only young and I try not to eat but I just wake up the next day and eat like a fucking fat pig. I asked my mum to buy me some gum today she bought me 3 containers without asking why. I failed not to eat today and eat all 3 meals but I just feel fat as fuck all of my friends are so perfect. One of my best friends struggles with the same stuff as I do, SH,MH and depression. Whilst my depression isn’t diagnosed I just feel it. I HATE IT. I haven’t done SH in ages but I just want to relapse but my mum saw the one on my leg and I just blamed it on my cats. They haven’t seen the one on my wrists though. If I commit I fear my best friend that I said earlier about will aswell she’s the only one keeping me going and it’s hard to carry on. Thanks for listening random internet stranger

I hate how theyre all the same. I hate how they make me feel like special but ends up doesnt care about how i feel. Im so tired of being like this. Hoping that someone would want me to stay

Would anyone notice if I just dissapeared?

You should have left earlier. I hate you for doing this to me now.

I rant on here a lot, and a fear follows me: the fear that someone I know will browse this website and recognize me from my rants. I leave very little identifying information, and I barely know anyone, let alone someone who would use this website. But still, I wish I could trust in the fact that this is an anonymous ranting website.

I just feel blank, everything after 2025 you can't make any memories, i used to be a kinda big youtuber with 600 subs, but my dad deleted it out of anger that i took my moms side in an argument, I don't want to die, i very much want to but I'm scared of what happens after death, but i can't live like this, I'm definitely am hypersexual (Haven't got diagnosed), I just sit on my ass all day, i listen to music to cope and sometimes baking, I cry at everything, i feel so weak, I've been bullied a lot so i have trauma being around peers, i hate being around people in large groups, everywhere i try to get help is impossible without it leading back to parents, i hate eating, and everything is my fault, i fuck all of my relationships because I'm so fucked up in the head, i can't talk at all without people staring at me and telling me to shut up, i feel like an alien, no matter how much i change my personality, I'm still weird, I'm just so tired of this life. and at the end i just cry.

my friends are fucking slobs and ive had to clean their house smultiple times because theres trash and junk everywhere and nobody ever cleans or sweeps or does dishes and not a single one of them has thanked me or done any favor in return or has even tried to get their shit together to make sure their houses are fucking liveable for themselves and others. It fucking smells all the time and Im so sick of pretending there's no issue with it. Why is nobody saying anything why is there no intervention

Just sick of being treated like shit. You know. I don't get why people in my area and my life have to act the way they act. Family don't get how they act. Unstable. Say the wrong thing they blow up. It doesn't help either that one is taking multiple meds that cause dementia. They're aggressive out of nowhere at times. Then try to even validate acting like that saying crap like " well I'm not gonna talk like you're a little kid". Uhhhm ... Do you enjoy being spoke to in shitty tones? Apparently I mean I sure don't. I have such a screwed up family and people wonder why I have issues.

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE MY PARENTS DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW I FEEL EVERYTIME THEY JUST NEED TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO ‘OH DO YOUR HOMEWORK, WASH THE DISHES’ DO THIS DO THAT. LIKE I DONT FUCKING KNOW. IM NOT A FUCKING BABY. LIKE TODAY WHEN THEY TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING. I GET SO PISSED, ‘YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATING WHEN YOURE ABOUT TO DO *****’ I SAY SHUT UP. AND THEY GET ALL MAD ABOUT ME WHEN THEY WERE THE ONES WHO CAUSED IT. Am I in the wrong here? I don’t know anymore.

i feel like what some people don’t realize is that when i’m sending them my art, i’m sending them my soul. i’m trusting them with a piece that i made and put my heart into because i have faith in them to see it the way i do and support me. i expect the same thing back that i would give them if they were to send me art; praise, compliments, pointing things out in the art piece so they feel seen and validated. i very rarely get that back and it’s discouraging. is my art that bad? does it offend you? could you not even spare more than 2 seconds writing me something genuinely meaningful to your friend? sometimes i wonder why i put effort into things that i don’t receive back.

I HATE HAVING A EATING DISORDER IT RLY SUCKS AND I WISH I DIDNT HAVE IT.I WISH I WASNT OBSSESSED WITH BEING SKINNY. I WISH I WAS NATURALLY SKINNYYYY

I feel like no one in my family cares about me as much as my brother, since he has diagnosed ADHD. I understand that my brother has been missing work, a lot of it, but my parents aren't seeing me down or failing no matter how much I show. My mom blames me for everything and confuses me first saying how I'm doing so well then hours later calling me useless and how I never do anything. Let me tell you I'm 13 with a job and a whole bunch of responsibilities that probably shouldn't be mine. It makes me so frustrated cause they don't know how much I do and how much I'm struggling. They believe in me more because I'm the daughter that has had grades higher than a C-, I'm a peer counselor, and I always help out and try out for a bunch of things and my parents thought I'm capable that when I told my mom I was still doing work other that cleaning me room which was my brothers job and she yelled at me and took my phone and now is playing and laughing with my brother . I don't know do anymore.

something I hate is when my mom is calling me an ungrateful ,liar ,lazy, and useless 16 year old and one of the first things that come to my mind is how I used to feel so safe around her,so pretty when she would do my hair,and how she is wasting the last two years she has with me.Sometimes I wish we had more time together. we do. I’m the one that’s going to cut it short and sometimes I feel an impending doom but I still have two years left ,sort of,and I just stare at her as she calls me things.I then scream and yell,Say the cruelest of things as I see how she sees my father in me and in my face. ——Yaritzel

CW:bad grammar,cringe Hi,I’ll call myself ‘clown girl’ because that’s what everyone sees me as,Ever since I was a toddler everyone always laughed at my accent and the way I would say things,it was hard for me to speak both English and Spanish but no one cared because..why the hell would they?,and so I stopped talking until now,I’m now 16,I missed talking because I’m now interested in philosophy,theories,emotional deep talks,and more but no one else does because they are just so boring!,And I don’t feel bad saying that because I swear if anyone UNDERSTOOD what they made me feel,they would understand why I say they are boring,anyways I recently started talking to my family loudly and ‘annoyingly’ a lot (I mainly only talk at school but school just ended..so i’m fucked.),my mom has LOVED ‘JOKING’ about how I sound like a broken parrot,Never shut the fuck up,am annoying,and how “before,I wanted her to talk now I just want her to be quiet”,WOW THANKS! Now she is complaining I became quiet

I just feels like everybody secretly hates me. Like, EVERYBODY. My dad gets angry and defensive at EVERYTHING i say, my friends can't stand my guts, like fr. everytime i say anything, i get mocked. and i get it, friend banter, but i get mocked on things i don't even control. they don't even like my presence, they don't even listen to what i have to say. i fuck it up with other friends for THEIR sake. i fucked it up with everyone. everytime i talk, people look between each other, i just embarass myself. everytime i'm with a group, i feel like i'm ignored. i'm sick of it. i know i'm not a good person, i'm not charismatic or funny but every fucking interaction just proves that i'm an intolerable piece of shit. life is so painful, i literally missed half of the last trimester, i feel nauseous when i think of having to interact with people. everytime i try to be confident something just detroys it. i don't want reassurance , i just want to know if someone has been through something like it.