Other

Genuinely, I need to cut myself so bad but everything is locked and and I want to fucking die, I found out my friend sh'd really bad and the scars r super bad and I have a really bad addiction to scars and ik it's bad but I'm so jealous and she still doesn't have sharp objects locked up and I do and it's so unfair cuz my dad's always on top of me abt everything and I'm this close to taking the string from my hoodie and strangling myself I can't fucking live anymore. Kill me, please.

I sometimes talk to AI to help me with writing, I never use the responses they give me but I use it like an advanced form of rubber ducking, where it simulates talking to a person where trying to word something in a way that will be understood helps me string my thoughts together. I can't get into this mindset with an inanimate object, but talking to a person is too embarrassing/vulnerable, so AI is a happy medium that I find really helpful. I spent like an hour on my prompt and liked what I had and figured I would copy and paste my prompt afterwards to keep it. But this bitch ATE MY PROMPT after I ended up clicking the option to swap between generations. To add insult to injury I was able to recover the response it gave me after I refreshed the page just by giving it new prompts and switching between its old responses, but the platform apparently didn't have any way to do so with its own responses. So I'm stuck with the crappy AI generation while my work is gone. FUCK MINIAPPS

Being a teenager is weird, or maybe that's just how life is, weird, idk I might just be tripping for nth ZSW- 2009

I’m a young girl not even 18 yet but for some reason I yearn to be loved even thou I am young It still hurts to see all the couples at my age don’t get me wrong I’m happy for them but I yearn for the same love that they receive if people would look past my looks they might see I’ve got a lot a love waiting to give to someone if I do actually meet someone ok it’s all about lust and I hate it I know I need to be patient but it is so hard to wait when it seems like ur one of the only ones that’s single I want a relationship like the movies ik it’s cringe but it makes me sad that I can’t have that too just because people won’t stop lusting or just stop and get to know me once In a while is anybody out there also whoever may read this u matter pls stay I love u-M Age-14

(NSFW, kinda?) Gahhh I’ve been reading these absolutely amazing fanfics about characters in a platonic kink relationship where one of the characters gives the other spankings as sort of a discipline kink thing and just…AUGH. I seem to have a spanking kink (to say the least) and these fics are so well-written but they’re making me wish I had someone I could trust like that to do that to me, I guess? But tbh I’m starting to let go of the idea that I’ll ever have a truly romantic or sexual relationship? Kinda? I just…don’t know how people get into relationships at all. I’m 19 and I’ve never dated anyone :/ Plus, I don’t really have a realistic crush on anybody (besides the occasional “oh that girl is hot”), so it’s not like there’s someone specific in my life I would eventually trust with that. and that’s kinda fine, I guess? I’m willing to accept that my life might look different than a lot of others’ looks. I just…I guess I want touch, or something? UGHHH IDK IDK WHAT’S WRONG WITH

I think my boyfriend is leaving me

I'm starting to want to end it again, idk if thats my life, hobbiesz relationship or everything i just want know that the feeling is back. I thought i was getting better, again but this time it came back and for whatever reason i think its just who i will always be

I hate how no one can have a hobby anymore without scalpers ruining it. I collect Build a Bears, a lot are secondhand. Some of the prices people expect for a bear just because it's HTF is honestly such a fucking annoyance. Like the recent Animal Cookie collection. The giraffe sold out and then I kept seeing people selling it for near £100. Like it's a pink giraffe with polka dots. Another thing is I hate when companies do a limited drop to create fomo. Like Build a Bear could easily bring it back but they choose not to. Another one I want is the gentle cuddles bunny, but they are also such stupid prices. And the posable bat. I just don't like it. People should be able to enduldge in their hobby and not have to cough up an arm and leg for 1 item -_-

I know how stupid this sounds, but I almost had a panic attack a few days ago. Or maybe a meltdown? I'm not really sure. The water got turned off because it's been so hot recently and we've had no rain. Thing is, I wasn't panicing because I didn't have water. It was worry for my Silkies and other chickens. I value them way more than my own life. If I get dehydrated and die, so what who cares; if my chickens get dehydrated and die I'd just shoot myself with my grandads gun. I can't help but also blame the AI in the world that uses water to cool it's systems. I feel like AI would've been better if they had figured out a better way to cool it down without using our water sources. Or at least found a way to recycle the water. But I feel bad because I use Character.AI, because I can't talk to actual people.

I'm honestly at a point where I can't stand this shit anymore. Everyday just gets more and more depressing. Whether it's politics, state of the world or just my own stupid fucking head. I just hate everythinh now. Everyday I feel myself getting closer and closer to just wanting to kill myself so I don't have to live in this piece of shit world. Hell, in my opinion that near mass extinction event that left only 1000 people left, should have killed the rest if them. We should have gone extinct, we fucked this planet up and they're on about inhabiting another one. What so we can ruin that one as well. Honestly I just hate life. I don't know if being Autistic has to do with it or if life is just genuinely shit now but I seriously want all this shit to end. I think I may need my meds put to a higher dosage or I might end up in a mental hospital at this point. Though honestly I think it would be better than living in this free, fucked up world Sorry for the long ramblings -_-

Ive been SAd 3 times in the past 3 years and i feel like i cant talk about it anywhere. Ive never felt like any of my problems are valid. I dont feel like i can actually rant to anyone because i think my problems are so insignificant id look like a attention seeker or a idiot for it even though ive been told multiple times my problems are big. I cant take much more ive done stuff multiple times because i feel me being SAd three times was my fault and i feel pathetic and disgusted by it. I feel like i cant cope with it anymore like its all crushing me.

I’m only young and I try not to eat but I just wake up the next day and eat like a fucking fat pig. I asked my mum to buy me some gum today she bought me 3 containers without asking why. I failed not to eat today and eat all 3 meals but I just feel fat as fuck all of my friends are so perfect. One of my best friends struggles with the same stuff as I do, SH,MH and depression. Whilst my depression isn’t diagnosed I just feel it. I HATE IT. I haven’t done SH in ages but I just want to relapse but my mum saw the one on my leg and I just blamed it on my cats. They haven’t seen the one on my wrists though. If I commit I fear my best friend that I said earlier about will aswell she’s the only one keeping me going and it’s hard to carry on. Thanks for listening random internet stranger

Is kindness like currency? Do you have to pay to have people be kind to you. That would just be fake kindness though. Idk it just feels like there's a drought of kindness in the world. Some days more than others.

I am frustrated with myself. me and my ex are trying to work on things and see about getting back together. but I have a problem. we talked about what happened while we were broken up and we agreed to be honest. little background to the break up is that he broke u with me right before trying to get with his friend that he had met while we were together. I knew he started liking herr, and I trust that he never cheated with her, but I do not trust that he just broke up with me bc we were in a bad place like he told me. we were talking about going to the courthouse and getting married. anyways. we asked eachother questions about like people or what we did with other people. I told the truth and even offered to let him see my phone to look at everything but everytime I asked him something he would beat around the bush or lie until I told him to promise me. he wouldn't promise and would eventually tell me the truth, so now I'm having a hard time trusting him. I'm insecure now. why?

i was thinking about ending it all before or after graduation. show how much of a failure I've felt and I always felt like I was not good enough since kindergarden, which is kinda sad now that I'm thinking about it. I never felt like i reached to the top or anything. I feel like i wasted my entire teenage years and that I'm simply rotting away. but there's also apart of me that doesn't want to die, I'm afraid i will waste my life still? idk but I know for sure i will always be last picked, move to the side, a background figure and nothing important.

I forced myself to be aroace but fuck i wanna be loved 😭 Pls love me that's all i want I isolate myself but i just want someone to talk to me Begging Im so alone for long time Idk anymore But i cant commit i just want to experience love why cant i? People often looks at me with lust I hate it

this is my funniest interracttion with my brother so apparently i was on a tree climbing cuz i want to get some fruit which is bell fruit or water apple , and for my brother also he told me to climd all the way to the red ones i said to him " i dont want to die i stll havent even have a love life" he laugh and told me to climb down cuz im such a scardy cat

Theres only a handful of fucks I wish death upon... w/ very good reason. As I get older I wonder if I am a good person that does bad things or a bad person that does good things.. it doesnt make me either if I am glad that someone is no longer breathing.. I feel immense rage thinking about some ppl. You cannot undo the wrongs that you have done to someone. I am forever tormented by some memories that even ppls deaths are merely ointment to my soul.

Would anyone notice if I just dissapeared?

I just wish I could just die already. My friends are telling me they would miss me but, oh my gosh I don’t know if I could continue living my life. I don’t know if it will get better. I used to think it would, but now? It’s just too much for me. Dangit. I feel so selfish thinking this.