All Rants

My life sucks, I'm having depressive episodes with frequency, my mind is sick, for every month of this year, someone left, I can't stop overthinking about the mistakes I did when I was a kid, i'm afraid it will ruin my life, I'm afraid I'll exposed, i'm afraid people will hate me even more, i'm afraid people might stop talking to me and see me even weirder when i needed help, i told atrocious lies in in change to receive attention, I can't forget about the nudes I sent when I was 13, my mom is aggressive and everytime she pisses me off I press my teeth hardly, press my skin with my nails, my teeth are rotting in real time, some of them are chipped, one is broken, I hate my face most of the time, I can't seem to manage my hair, I can't express myself when talking about how fucked I am, i wrote paragraphs, talked to people, friends, my school therapist, and nothing helps, I wanna be normal, beloved, I wanna belong

Kinda actually really feel sad Dam ..like I can't be myself In my own house..now I get it why people move out cause it gets suffocating.. Like can't I just be me and not told 24/7 to act like a girl! Dam I am trying plz being a girl is already hard and plus the weight of your goddam expectations is weighing me down.So stop and let me be free and me!!

I wish you’d stay at work you are so negative and mean sometimes

Im sobbing right now this is way to overwhelming for me I'm on my period, nobody respects my boundaries, my partner is ignoring me, I just wanted to use a Vr so I could have one good thing happen today cause I miss my friends on there they are the only people who don't yell at me everyday and my brother started yelling at me even though he has been on for an hour I just want one good thing why can't I have it

my mom is hiding more acceptance letters from different colleges because instead of realizing I'm actually getting worse with my mental health to the point I can't function right, she says the only problem is that I'm independent. How about I jump off my window by myself is that independent enough for you? Fuck you and fuck everybody who didn't treat me seriously and only thought low of me. Fuck my mom who is really just pushing my depression aside and thinking that yelling at me is the only solution. You're lucky you still have a living daughter because I can change that real quick. Just say you hate me because I'm nothing but a reminder of your stupid ignorant mistakes when you were young. Fuck you and most definitely fuck my father.

whys life so hard, im a (PIMO) Jehovahs Witness kid, i've got the assembly coming up where you sit still, prim, and proper, and listen to someone yap about the bible for 6-7 hours. Ive got the meeting twice a week, its when you do the assembly but for 1h 45 mins. And the ministry once, though im encouraged to do more, thats when we knock on doors. I have it 5 times a year, it never gets better, i dont know why, but sitting there in that hall with 600+ people who've been looking forward to this event, in that moment i feel like im screaming and banging on the walls of my mind for days, but i sit there, still, quiet. Its school, then school + meeting after, then school, then school, then school, then ministry, then a meeting, and it repeats. Theres so much i want to say, but not enough time. Who will read this anyways, 1 in 140 people in the UK are JWs, i doubt anyone will be able to relate. My parents argue every night, i ruined their marriage, i cause the arguments. OBEDIENCE

I'm tired of pretending everything's okay. My family thinks I'm excited to start college, but I feel nothing, just a fear I've felt before whenever someone mentions anything school-related. Every humiliation I endured in those places (school environments) comes flooding back, making me feel like that scared, lonely nine-year-old again. I'm not really passionate about anything, so I chose art to be my career, and I know I won't even pass the general exam because I'm an idiot who doesn't have energy to do anything. I wasn't meant to live this long, I wasn't made to be this age. I'm nothing. I'm an empty shell that just slides through life like a godamn slug. I don't contribute anything to the world and I never will. What's the point of living if I'm physically of enjoying it?

I have no friends at school. I talk to people but they aren't my friends and only my closest friends don't even go to my own school so I'm always feeling left out at school and I'm always begging for the day off but I've learned that it starting to affect my mental health and a strategy I've learned is to plan something to look forward to, so I can support my mental health.

What's a moment from today where you felt completely overwhelmed by something simple? I know rape is a common thing. It shouldn’t be but it is. It’s never happened to me. my mom has always made inappropriate comments and warned me an extreme amount of times about kidnappers and rapists. She never lets me go out on my own despite me being almost 17. My brothers went out at way younger ages. Her words cause so much irrational fear that I am constantly scared of being kidnapped or raped anytime I leave the house. I’m still scared even in my house. I can’t even go to a regular chiropractor appointment without worrying about it. The guy who does my chiropractor work is super sweet but the fear my mom has built in me is too strong to brush aside.

Razor from a Pencil sharpener. I wish I never picked it up. I started it 3 years ago. I managed to quit. I was nearly two years clean and I relapsed. Now whenever some goes wrong, or I’m upset, it’s always the first thing that comes to mind. I wish my first reaction wasn’t to cut. No one knows. When I first started, I told my friend but I think she forgot. I’m glad because it really upset her. She’s a really good friend but I don’t want to burden her with it again. I’m a few months clean now but lately I found the razor again. I had hidden it and forgot until now. Things have been really stressful lately. My scars are just starting to heal/fade. I think I’m going to relapse again. I wish I never picked up the blade.

Honestly I js decided drugs are better than feelings

I feel lost in life with all the stuff going on in the world and just mentally and "friends" being mean and Alot of other things I just feel so lost especially with exams aswell

Building up? I'm tired of b s. The last like 4 or 5 days have been bad straight up drama stress anger anxiety inducing bullcrap. It gets old having bad days. Multiple in a row. Drama this drama that. My family act like SKY'S FALLING over the slightest things. Such as just grocery shopping. AND IM USUALLY THE ONE DOING IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. They get dramatic over SOMETHING I HAVE TO GO DO stress me out before I even go out the door. That's just one example. I've told them this too and they act like it's nothing. Try dealing with public with anxiety, with people who can't drive worth a crap, try to either push a shopping cart up your butt in the store because there in such a hurry OR they'll block your way, won't move despite seeing u there or force you to stop for them going by. So many times. They'll act like it's the Daytona 500 and there's only one of each item left in the store. It's pretty infuriating and frustrating. Why is everyone always in a hurry? It won't matter in 100yrs

I just went to an interview for a manager role it was basic and short. I prepared so much and only got asked what my favourite meal is and hobbies. I’ve been unemployed for a year I don’t know if I did well or not. I want this job cause time is running out and the job market is competitive as hell.

I wish people would stop bodyshaming others. I’ve been so depressed about my small chest for years and I can’t do anything naturally to change it. Don’t I deserve to be loved desires and treated with respect just as anyone else?

The school said that student that plannwd shooting may can come back And that he is our friend not "it" ..uhm the school just tried to stop the talking but i dont want hım to come to school..i am still scared..the school feels so dead these weeks.and the exams are coming which means he will come to school. Like why are we not taking these serios .That student clearly have a VERY BİG problem.

I really want to die. I want to either decapitate myself or crash a cabrio car and die in it. I hate myself. I hate everything. I just want to die.

People keep blaming me for things that are out of my control. I'm disabled, I'm diagnosed with nmosd and I have to go to the hospital a lot and I'm busy, I have a former friend that said they are fine with me being busy and then they talk behind my back like that. I let them know I feel very hurt and then they blame me, they think it's my fault, I feel so hurt because they are my closest friend. I feel like I want to die. And then I vent about this to my other friend only for them to tell me to calm down and move on but all I want is just a listener. I'm on the verge of crying I just want people to stop blaming me for my illness, what am I supposed to do? I'm tired

BRO LIKE U KNEW ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS PAST AND U THOUGHT I DIDNT SO I LEFT HIM A VIRGIN SO U TRIED TO PUNISH ME BUT I KNEW EVERYTHINGGGG SO NOW U SON OF A BITCH BACKTRACKING YOURE TELLING ME U SHARE EVERYTHING TO ME THEN WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOUR BALI PLANS THAT YOU MADE WHILE NO CONTACT WITH ME FOR 3 months straight u son of a bitch go ask your mom if she’s a virgin u mf bitch go ask your mf friend if he’s a virgin absolute dipshit of a bitch u want to be friends then why did u do the relationship drama u son of a bitch NOW LETS SEE IF YOULL STAY LOYAL LETS TEST WHEN IM NOT TALKING BITCH

I was today at the therapist. Im from poland, and im under the age of 18. My therapist has to tell the police about the sexual abuse I went through in my mothers house, because of my mothers partner.. Im scared. Im scared, because of her being aggresive, and often going crazy.. My dad has to tlk with her. My therapist, told me that She and her husband won't be able to contact me for some time. But im scared she will try to. My parents arent living together anymore as they divorced. Happily im at my dad's house, as im living here for 2,5 year.. Still, they know my aress, have my phone number.. Im scared of them. Back when I told her about wht her husband did to me.. She didnt believe me, and called me a monster. She didnt see me as human. Im so scared.. I dont wanna go through this again.. Im very scared about the whole situation.. My therapist also told me that my mental health is bad because of what that man did to me. Oh, and also, she said that I possibly have deppresion.