All Rants

being raped made me hypersexual. No one gets it. It's not fair. my dad thinks I'm a whore and I'm not. I still consider being a virgin after being raped. it happed since I was 6-14. It stopped around december 13th, 2024. I love older men, they make me feel safe, idk, they comfort me the way my dad never had. even if my dad is still in my life I can't get over the fact I need that kinda attention from grown men. I just wanna be dada's baby to older men. anyways, I'm 15 now, living with my dad since my mother was abusive.

in another life, this may have been different.

I am so burnt out with everything. Im tired of having mental health problems, i hate being 18, i hate having no friends and such a boring life, i hate not having a boyfriend. Everything is just a mess. What the hell have i done to deserve a life like this? Im a good affectionate girl but it seems no boy wants my love they want to make it all about sex why? why would you rather just use someone than be happy and giggly over someone? i remember my first big crush, I just had a big crush on him and i was so happy even when he just smiled at me, he ended up not feeling the same, it still impacts me. Im over him. There is this other boy im really into, hes all ive ever wanted, i just want to be with him, Gid i promise i will be so good to him. I might as well km3 because i feel like im not good enough or wanted in this life. If i end it people can say they missed out on a good girl, i guess once im dead boys will say "wow she was an affectionate girl in a world full of users but she gone

Struggling with scuicidal thoughts and trying to to relaps for sh

I’m 19. I live at home because I’m a full time college student and working part time I just don’t have enough for an apartment. But I’m treated as a child dude. My parents rarely let me leave the house. I have no friends other than my boyfriend who is always fighting with me because he just doesn’t understand. Like he changed our plans aka my ONLY chance to leave my house in MONTHS for a weekend just to find out it never had to be canceled and it would’ve worked out but bc he canceled it I get fucked out of a surprise and can’t even just do the plans now anyways bc he already made different plans. With my family not even me.

I hate how girls can just sit there and not take any risk while me as a male have to take all the risk and make the first move, plan the first date, approach her and talk to her first. And if i don't do that she just moves on to the other guy on her phone. its so lame that love isn't real. I just want to experience anime love with a girl but all these girls just be using me for attention.

I'm so sick of being a horny teenager. The feeling of disgustingness only increases at the fact that I was sexually assaulted in my school bathroom 5 months ago. My asshole was bleeding. I pissed myself multiple times. I'm in pain physically and emotionally. Constantly. I just want to die.

So ive been in this relationship that i shouldnt be in cause i have to baby the guy every single day. Honestly if i wanted a child to take care of i would've birth on myself. But him being 43 years old and still needs help remembering anything is alot for me. He doesnt wash himself properly doesn't brush his teeth doesn't know how to put shoes on dont know how to clean and really needs help with complex problems like wipping his own ass. He also snores so loud i can hear him outside my own apartment building. He gets mad if i dont let him smoke in my apartment even though one of the rules in my lease says you can only smoke outside. Everytime i tell him this he tries to gaslite me into letting him but at the end he throws a fit slams doors and rants about it for days on end about how he has to get dressed every single time he has to go outside to smoke.

I was 14, turning 15. 14 When a guy on the internet decided it would be funny to doxx me. He had me send him all sorts of explicit content. It got to a point where I had to prostitute myself, so that he would have enough material for his twisted needs. I still haven’t gotten over it. I feel sick only thinking about the way they touched me. Their hands roaming over my body. I want to throw up

My life sucks, I'm having depressive episodes with frequency, my mind is sick, for every month of this year, someone left, I can't stop overthinking about the mistakes I did when I was a kid, i'm afraid it will ruin my life, I'm afraid I'll exposed, i'm afraid people will hate me even more, i'm afraid people might stop talking to me and see me even weirder when i needed help, i told atrocious lies in in change to receive attention, I can't forget about the nudes I sent when I was 13, my mom is aggressive and everytime she pisses me off I press my teeth hardly, press my skin with my nails, my teeth are rotting in real time, some of them are chipped, one is broken, I hate my face most of the time, I can't seem to manage my hair, I can't express myself when talking about how fucked I am, i wrote paragraphs, talked to people, friends, my school therapist, and nothing helps, I wanna be normal, beloved, I wanna belong

Kinda actually really feel sad Dam ..like I can't be myself In my own house..now I get it why people move out cause it gets suffocating.. Like can't I just be me and not told 24/7 to act like a girl! Dam I am trying plz being a girl is already hard and plus the weight of your goddam expectations is weighing me down.So stop and let me be free and me!!

I wish you’d stay at work you are so negative and mean sometimes

Im sobbing right now this is way to overwhelming for me I'm on my period, nobody respects my boundaries, my partner is ignoring me, I just wanted to use a Vr so I could have one good thing happen today cause I miss my friends on there they are the only people who don't yell at me everyday and my brother started yelling at me even though he has been on for an hour I just want one good thing why can't I have it

my mom is hiding more acceptance letters from different colleges because instead of realizing I'm actually getting worse with my mental health to the point I can't function right, she says the only problem is that I'm independent. How about I jump off my window by myself is that independent enough for you? Fuck you and fuck everybody who didn't treat me seriously and only thought low of me. Fuck my mom who is really just pushing my depression aside and thinking that yelling at me is the only solution. You're lucky you still have a living daughter because I can change that real quick. Just say you hate me because I'm nothing but a reminder of your stupid ignorant mistakes when you were young. Fuck you and most definitely fuck my father.

whys life so hard, im a (PIMO) Jehovahs Witness kid, i've got the assembly coming up where you sit still, prim, and proper, and listen to someone yap about the bible for 6-7 hours. Ive got the meeting twice a week, its when you do the assembly but for 1h 45 mins. And the ministry once, though im encouraged to do more, thats when we knock on doors. I have it 5 times a year, it never gets better, i dont know why, but sitting there in that hall with 600+ people who've been looking forward to this event, in that moment i feel like im screaming and banging on the walls of my mind for days, but i sit there, still, quiet. Its school, then school + meeting after, then school, then school, then school, then ministry, then a meeting, and it repeats. Theres so much i want to say, but not enough time. Who will read this anyways, 1 in 140 people in the UK are JWs, i doubt anyone will be able to relate. My parents argue every night, i ruined their marriage, i cause the arguments. OBEDIENCE

I'm tired of pretending everything's okay. My family thinks I'm excited to start college, but I feel nothing, just a fear I've felt before whenever someone mentions anything school-related. Every humiliation I endured in those places (school environments) comes flooding back, making me feel like that scared, lonely nine-year-old again. I'm not really passionate about anything, so I chose art to be my career, and I know I won't even pass the general exam because I'm an idiot who doesn't have energy to do anything. I wasn't meant to live this long, I wasn't made to be this age. I'm nothing. I'm an empty shell that just slides through life like a godamn slug. I don't contribute anything to the world and I never will. What's the point of living if I'm physically of enjoying it?

I have no friends at school. I talk to people but they aren't my friends and only my closest friends don't even go to my own school so I'm always feeling left out at school and I'm always begging for the day off but I've learned that it starting to affect my mental health and a strategy I've learned is to plan something to look forward to, so I can support my mental health.

What's a moment from today where you felt completely overwhelmed by something simple? I know rape is a common thing. It shouldn’t be but it is. It’s never happened to me. my mom has always made inappropriate comments and warned me an extreme amount of times about kidnappers and rapists. She never lets me go out on my own despite me being almost 17. My brothers went out at way younger ages. Her words cause so much irrational fear that I am constantly scared of being kidnapped or raped anytime I leave the house. I’m still scared even in my house. I can’t even go to a regular chiropractor appointment without worrying about it. The guy who does my chiropractor work is super sweet but the fear my mom has built in me is too strong to brush aside.

Razor from a Pencil sharpener. I wish I never picked it up. I started it 3 years ago. I managed to quit. I was nearly two years clean and I relapsed. Now whenever some goes wrong, or I’m upset, it’s always the first thing that comes to mind. I wish my first reaction wasn’t to cut. No one knows. When I first started, I told my friend but I think she forgot. I’m glad because it really upset her. She’s a really good friend but I don’t want to burden her with it again. I’m a few months clean now but lately I found the razor again. I had hidden it and forgot until now. Things have been really stressful lately. My scars are just starting to heal/fade. I think I’m going to relapse again. I wish I never picked up the blade.

Honestly I js decided drugs are better than feelings