All Rants

My nervous system has been in survival mode for months on end and I didn’t realize it till now like for months I’ve been going from activated to recovering multiple times a day and it’s very exhausting.

I hate immature adults. Disgusting. I have a 50 y/o father and 40 something year old mother, and I think I'm more mature than the two combined. I'm only 16. First of all, because of them, I've developed both misophonia (anger/extreme rage at ordinary sounds) as well as severe social anxiety disorder. My brain is fucked, basically. My mother acts like a child. Screams shrilly at the top of her lungs, I can't stand her. Cries when things don't go her way. Whines and cries when she wants to manipulate me. I'm the most passive of both my siblings. I do everything because I hate it when my parents scream. When she does this my heart starts pounding and I get really angry. Sometimes shes nice though so I gaslight myself into thinking I'm being dramatic. My dad is a child too. He mocks my mom, and always pretends to be righteous. He screams like a maniac about the most random things. I always am the mediator in their fights. I have to wear earplugs in the house and can't leave b/c of my SAD.

nostalgia will be the death of me bro OMGGG </333

I don't wanna die. I have an amazing and privileged life with amazing people. but I'm about to graduate 7th grade and I don't want to grow up. I don't want to leave 8th grade and go to another new school. But I can't kms. I have a twin brother and I just cant leave him all alone. I'm not in bad mental health all the time all day, and everyone has these thoughts every once in a while. But sometimes I just want to do sh again like I used to. then again this might be Adrienne Lenker's devastating music getting to me rn lmao have a good night <33

How do J keep going knowing im a burden to every person im around?? Im disabled, im slow, Ive tried getting help and all my attempts fall flat. No one wants to help a waste of space, im positive they all want me gone. People say "try getting help" but then i try and i grt ignored. I cant do this anymore because whats the point

What's a moment from today where you felt completely overwhelmed by something simple? I needed to get out of bed.

“Alpha men” are childish cucks

I live in a shithole Central American town full of self righteous ignorant assholes. Today one of those “local” assholes decided today he would yell at me. We we’re driving on a very narrow road and came across each other where only one car can fit. It’s a dirt road and I had just come around a corner. Of course I couldn’t see him. We both stopped. If he backed up it was a straight road and no one was coming up behind him, the toad was empty. If I backed up I would have to back up around a corner backing into the direction and side that vehicles come from. He got out of his car and started yelling at me “I HAVE A BABY!!! YOU NEED TO BACK UP!!!” I asked him to try to calm down and explain to him that why I wouldn’t back up and he unloaded on me, in front of the person holding his baby, which was basically a new born. So I backed up as he revved his engine at me and then went speeding by me kicking up rocks. Pretty sure the only baby on board, was him.

Men who yell at women they don’t even know are weak ass temper tantrum having bitches. Grow up you piece of shit and drag your mom to hell with you because she created the monster that you are.

1 - i was denied normalcy. 2 - in mid-teens all got normalcy per being human. 3 - i was denied this. 4 - this continues now. 5 - most thus are scum as people overall. 6 - all others got normalcy. the NHS didn't. See me objectively and clinically they saw me as smart and this led to godliness and some other baseless nonsense. they wish to bully me and dney me this, despite bullying being wrong. they wished to deny me a normal life clnically which all others get and got. 7 - farrah mills, aba and preach, sweet anita, seen as normalc and acceptbale in their cohorts and presentations. so can i be. 8 - most denied me in life, so i fight back. 9 - so if the many plot, so i can fight BACK. so it fits accordingly.

I’m jealous. I’m jealous of the other girls who are super close with their moms. At youth group, so many of the girls frequently talk about how much they love their mom. It may not seem long but 4 years is a lot to live in a household feeling unloved. My mom constantly uses me as the punching bag for her and my siblings failures. It’s got to the point where I don’t know what to do. I can’t defend myself without it being seen as arguing. She gets mad at me all the time. I feel like I can’t be open with her. She doesn’t know anything about what I like or dislike. It’s like to her I’m not her daughter I’m just someone living in her house. She constantly complains about the care she has to do. She brags about doing the bare necessities for me while she goes above and beyond for my siblings. I wish we could get along. I’m so jealous of girls who are close with their moms. I know I should be grateful that my mom is even alive but sometimes I think it would be better if I just had my dad.

I hate having divorced parents. My mom claims my dad is evil. My dad is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. She talks bad about him all the time, never once had he talked bad about her- if he did he’s never done it in front of my or my siblings. My mom does it in front of us all the time. She says awful things about him. She does it to so many people. She says things about looks and personality. Things that are very messed up. I feel that she’s the issue. Both my mom and dad are remarried to new people. My dad and stepmom have a very healthy relationship. Sure they aren’t perfect and they fight but they always make up and apologize to eachother and to us if they fight in front of us. My mom and stepdad on the other hand have a horrible relationship. They fight all the time and never make up. Then when fight again they bring up past arguments. It’s mainly my mom, my stepdad just lets her disrespect him. She threatens divorce all the time. I think she’s the problem.

I feel like I’m trapped in my body. Not I’m a I think I’m trans type way, but In a I want to scream and can’t type way. Sometimes I just feel like ripping my skin off and that still not being enough. I don’t obviously, but I just feel like I’m yelling at myself so loud….. so so loud and nothing happens. It’s so exhausting and low key embarrassing. I also daydream so much it’s actually annoying. I could be just sitting and subconsciously I’m making 5 different story’s and plots in my head, sometimes wishing something was wrong with me so I would have an excuse. And yes I know it’s wrong, to want something bad to happen to you but I don’t know. Maybe I just need to suck it up and just “be”.

I just got outta juvi 4/4/26 I was in Florida my grandma no longer wanted me to live with her so dcf sent me to my father in wisconsin cause he told them he was finacialy doing great and his life was"perfect" well long story short hes not hes on cocaine smokes weed and drinks alot we barely have food in the house where fixing to be homless and today i brought my little brother on a bike ride and he had a fit cause i wouldnt let him in the trailer after he popped the wheel so i spoke to him calmly then started getting pissed off that he wasnt listening to me so i started cussing he finally walked home and told our dad that i cussed at him he made me out as the bad guy and i couldnt even explain the story cause let me not forget people cant belive me or trust that i wont hit them cause i was in jail for FALSE ACCUSATIONS of pushing someone everyone knows im not violent im just a big ass teddy bear with mental issues but its like what could i be doing wrong in my life

i lay on my bed. staring at the ceiling. i roll over to my side. those sharp whispers replaying in my head. i wipe my own tears. pretending. and hoping its someone wiping them for me the only thing that is wiping for me is that soaked pillow. i hug myself. pretending its someone. whispering to me "its going to be okay" banishing all of the dark thoughts. i hold my own hand till my knuckles turn white till i start thinking its someone comforting me but at the end its such an imagination i have that will never come true.

I hate food so much its ruining my life in MULTIPLE WAYS. I hate being a fat slob, I hate calorie counting and dieting but its also addictive at the same time. I hate my mothers eating disorder rubbing off on my whole family. I hate my sister for getting a prescription for ozempic while i have to work hard with the same condition. I hate my little sibling for eating so much crap because its just making them fat. I hate it when anyone eats near me. I have severe misophonia and if I can hear even the tiniest sound of someone eating I burst into tears. I wish I could be hooked up to some kind of feeding tube for the rest of my life so I never had to think about food or eating ever again. I wish everyone was.

my mom is so defensive, it's annoying

I think my story is actually set but idk yet it’s going all over the place

I feel bad because I don’t feel good enough academically. At school I do, because it’s easy, but now that I’ve taken the pre-calculus exam, I did absolutely rubbish, and at this stage of the exam, it’s looking like I might not pass the course. And I feel stupid for not being able to do it, because I really did try my best. And the problem is, it’s as if I feel that if I couldn’t manage this, how am I going to cope when I’m an adult? I won’t be able to do anything. And I start crying; it’s the only thing I’m good at.

so basically my cat I've had most of my life is starting to get sick, she can barely move and her bones are weakening so today I asked my grandpa where the cat is, he said outside, I checked outside I don't see her at all I came up to him and told him and he still said shes outside but gave me a weird expression. I think shes dead...