All Rants

dude having BPD is so fucking weird bc what do you mean idk who TF I am and keep changing everything about me bc I just stared at a mirror way to long and have no sense of self ? Idk what my actual personality is anymore of just who I am if that makes any sense what so ever. And then I have a fav person and it's weird just how much they mean to me and they are just like a close friend of mine but like I wanna live in their ribcage but I feel so weird feeling that way over a friend and they are rlly on and off a lot and it's just jajxjwjxi my brain rn

It’s funny how rantram is addictive

What did I even lie about bruh. What push lmfaoo?? It was obvious both of you were into each other. Everything is about her. Everything, everywhere and you’re pinning this onto me? You want me to endure all this and pretend everything is ok? If you only told me the truth about you and her, I would have minded my own business and NONE of this would have happened. Everyone would have been happy

Happy Birthday to my lovely wife! I love her so much, and I hope the best for her. My sweet fairy little princess. My honey boo, I miss you so much & I can’t wait to meet you soon xoxo

I’m not sure what happened between you and that circle. I broke off contact with everyone there and I barely remember what happened last year. It’s like, I can’t recollect anything anymore , or maybe I blocked it out because it gives me extreme PTSD. I’m not sure what happened, but all I do know is you treat me based on how your mood is. Your mind is constantly oscillating. It feels like I’m walking on eggshells whenever I try to interact with you indirectly. I hate how you keep pulling me in and pushing me away because you have attachment issues. I hate being a part of this disgusting play. I hate triangles, and I hate hurting people. I am getting older, and relying on toxic relationships is affecting my physical health. It’s wrecking me up mentally and physically. It’s completely ruining my life to the point I can’t focus on anything anymore

I can’t do anything by myself without filling up with guilt. Anything that is expressive is guilt worthy to me. I wanted to go for a walk them feel bad because if I go alone one day I’ll regret it If I do something I want one day I’ll be thinking that someone knew better. If I don’t listen to what everybody says then life will take them away from me and I’ll die alone thinking about everything I missed. If I get mad at someone I can never forgive myself right or wring so I have to change mentality. I just don’t want to be alone forever but I just need to do something by myself without needing a second opinion sometimes but I’m trapped in a cycle of i dont even know what

I’ve been horrible in managing my nerves lately because I’m sorry but babysitting has been so stressful that I crash out every so often to everyone and it destroys me, because not only I can’t manage several situations but I’m making people I love sad. on top of that and I look weak when I’m supposed to look responsible. I want to be strong for my family and be supportive but the more I try the more it gets worse.

Starting a new school is so refreshing, it is awkward and nerve wrecking at first but then you realize no one knows who you truly are like in your old school, no one here knows what music I listen to, who are my friends, or anything about my character, you can just become a new version of yourself

i am so tired of being alone. i feel like i have so much love to give and its never reciprocated. i get weird and jealous and i just feel truly alone. like nobody will ever want to know me as much as i want to know them. its an awful, isolating, drowning feeling that i don;t know how much more i can handle. i just want someone to see me.

The thing is I would have kept your secrets R. That’s why I said loved you unconditionally. But you clearly didn’t feel the same about me. Your “I love yous” must have been only air with nothing backing them. I let down my walls and look wat happened. I wanted to share the freer version of myself with others and I felt like I was apart of friend base. And you took that from me R. I wanted to call you and share pictures with you when I got back from our break. But you chose otherwise.

I hate that I am so damn needy, and have such a desire to be loved. I hate that I am so god damn desperate. I hate the fact that I made u uncomfortable, made u not want to be my friend. I hate that I became the only person u could talk to and rely on, to destroy that in minutes of me confessing to u. I hate that I have never been enough for you. I hate that me confessing to u is enough to want to have nothing to do with me. Even with a friendship of 10+ years. I hate that I matter so little, that I have never mattered even when I came to see u. To see your wonderful smile, your laugh. I hate that I made u mad with the idea that I wasn’t enjoying the moment exactly how u were. I hate that you think that having a crush on someone means they didn’t enjoy it the same. I hate that u think of me as some random fucking primate that is SO motivated by feelings, because I am. I hate that I tried to deny it, and I hate that u knew I tried to deny it… And I hate that I’ll never see that face.

My ex came into my life. I was so so so hesitant and she kept pushing. I opened up. And she closed off as soon as I was starting to like her again. And the narrative became that I am obsessed with her. No babe you hit an attachment would I don’t want my mom to leave me again. But she wanted to keep me close and it killed me. Now I just wish she’d left me alone.

You literally have feelings for someone else, you trash me everywhere with your sneaky wordplay, and you have the audacity to be mad? That is insAAANEEEE!

I shouldn't have been the scapegoat and matyr for all of your problems R. You're still using this site to contact me and yet you say that I don't have any courage. You shouldn't have used me and I should have never trusted women.

Your actions made me relive things R. You became the personification of every traumatic experience that I had because your actions mirrored those moments. All you did was lie during the investigation, your story changed six times! I'm tired of your excuses you did everything. You violated me R. I told you too much and I was weak for letting you get close to me. You retraumatized me I have nightmares about you and the entire situation, but its blended with my past. I wish I never spoke to you. I wish I never met you. I hadn't met you none of this would have happened. You called me "unsafe" I can't forgive that. You had the audacity to send me anonymous hateful messages and death threats. Why did it matter so much when I broke up with you. I wanted to kill myself your actions dug up so many skeletons in my closet. I wanted a release from my pain, I still do. My body I can tell wants me to shut down, but I cant because I have to graduate college this year I told you that.

OH YEAH ITS MY FAULT IM BOTHERED BY GETTING YOUR SEX CLOTHES. STFUUUUUUUU. I DONT WANNA TOUCH WHERE YOUR POSAY HAS BEEN. FUCK YOU

STOP FUCKING TEAMING ASSHOLES. NOONE LIKES YOU, YOU ARE POOR AND YOU PROBABLY GET ABUSED

You know what? I don’t care anymore. I’m fucking using names and praying no one shares this online and gets me in trouble but I need the world to stop thinking this guys was so good. (This is gonna sound like that fuckass walter white confession tape) I’m Adelaide LaForge, “daughter” of Joshua Andrew LaForge from Wisconsin. My dad died of a heart attack in July of 2023. He was a police officer. He abused me and my family, but also acted very kind and sweet sometimes. My mother told me she wanted to leave with us (my brothers and I) but he would take out the car battery and shit like that. They were likely going to get a divorce before he died. He was caring and sweet, yes, but he was also angry and abusive. I need people to believe me. Go look him up, and read how such a “good father” he was and how my mom tried to hide all the bad from the world with only the good things he did. I don’t want people to think he was a hero anymore. Sure, he did good things, but he was still awful.

No one takes my eating disorder seriously and it really sucks I’m not skinny but I am still struggling.

I hate that I have so many bad memories of a toxic place I was at. Try to explain it to fam they don't get it. They were never in such an awful place like I was. What's probably one of the worst things and I say one, there's a bazillion, 2 people from there passed away and all I have is bad memories of them hardly anything good to say about them. Sure they had value as a human being, but they also did me dirty and were shitty to me. Thats just scratching the surface. I try to talk about it with fam it goes in ear out the other or its like I'm talking to a wall. I should have never ever been at that place to begin with. Only because my late ex uncle encouraged me to. Had no idea the toxicity of it was nearly every person was hostile mean sarcastic using manipulative childish and alot were super lazy. The list goes on. It was a hellhole. So glad I'm not there now but it's just idk.