All Rants

deadass I need to go to anger management and therapy I CANNOT DO THEI SHIT AKYMROE UGHHH

i sas this comment on a video, saying make comments that will start a war. eveyone went into politics or genders. but i saw this comment and ot was “i will automatically assume your a bad person id you are white, a christian, or a man.” And it genuinely wants to rip my eyeballs out. what the fuck, you are disgusting human being. i know im proving the video right, (hottakes that will start a war.) but wtf yo ?

i fucking hate everythijg yesterday my parents yelled at me so fucking badly like they didn’t even allow wme to have alone time in the bathroom locked they were like, “unlock it unclopck i”’ idj diejenigen sumskjh susi s isiiw Hwyu 2kpd i do i felel this way i hate this so much im a monster too my friends mom hates me and i bullied multiple pppl

this is genuinely the worst year of my life its everytime i feel like its getting better it just takes me and drags me back to the abyss below and i cant even tell anyone anything without feeling shame or anger with myself because it just feels like maybe all of my problems could've been avoided if i had more self control and wasn't so insecure about my own feelings. Can't even talk to my family about it in these moods since we're tightly knit and I know they want me to be honest but with the pace on how I end up spiraling and panicking everyday it simply isn't worth their time and stress so I just listen to something or do something that's louder than what's going on in this head of mine. I can't even handle socializing in any server or friend group without panicking and thinking i did something wrong because they talk or act slightly differently and I've had people talk crap behind my back and I hate this cycle I want to be normal I want to be happy I want to be free.

Suicidal at 12 and still so at 24. I’m almost 25 and I want to end it before I see that day. I hate that I let myself live this long, people say it gets better and yes I have met great people and made wonderful memories but I’m still so lonely and nothing has been worth dragging it out this long. I’m tired. I hate being fat. I hate being a burden. I’m so ugly and tired. I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m tired. I’m tired and no one is coming to save me

There is a man in chains in the dark, burried deep underground in a prison where nobody can find him. He screams and cries for help every day. All day long. But nobody can see him. Nobody can hear him. No matter how he begs and screams. "I'm here!" "Let me out!" "Help me!" he cries. But he knows that until he is handed the key, he will be unable to free himself. He is not starving, but he is in agony. He injures himself writhing in his restraints. Hating himself. "I deserve this suffering." he weeps. He feels ashamed of his masculinity. His identity. Of feeling so happy to be called "he". Ashamed of flinching when he sees the woman in the mirror where he was always supposed to stand. So ashamed. Everyone looks at the woman standing in front of him. They say she is a strong woman, beautiful girl, kind lady, smart daughter. But she is just a vessel of skin bone and blood. His prison. And he just wants to be free. He just wants permission to live. He just wants to have his own body.

Man first this bullshit with a ex and then the bullshit at work and then I'm finally like wow maybe I do like someone and wanted to introduce them to like the family due to a wedding it ends with them being kinda rude about not wanting to go / annoyed about it and am I the problem ?? Is there something wrong with me that I'm unpleasant to be around or just straight up gross looking that no one wants to be with me ? I hate the fact that I have to feel this way but holy fuck I wanna be happy, I want to look forward to talking to someone about anything really our days / planning date nights or movie nights like all of my friends get to experience it but when is it my turn ???? - p

Im just soo tired. How can i rest? im not sure what kind of rest i need im physically and ,emotionally exhausted. im not alone but i still feel im lonely. I always used to joke to anyone but deep inside something is not right., im not happy. Where can is the purpose? i dont feel motivated like im just felt nothing.

I’m scared I’ll never have a romantic relationship… I don’t even make eye contact with people that may be looking at me. Aside from my insecurities about my appearance…. I’m insecure about my personality and the way I act. Double whammy! Personality wise I am too awkward to find a guy irl and feel I don’t look good enough to be on dating apps. I know there must be someone out there for me someday but I’m worried that day will never come and I’ll never even hold hands romantically or flirt :( I need a non biased third party to give opinions on me so I know what I could do to be better or change. I’m so starved for love and attention.

I hate talking to people, they hate me so much, so judgmental, I don't understand how people can be so cruel, and also uphold themselves higher than you in every mannerism in which they speak. But I'm told the only reason worth living is because of other people.

i hate being trans i feel like a 55 years old weird man pretending to be a girl online for attention i feel like i am lying to my friends, they probably think i am a pretty girl but i am just this ugly thing (they dont know i am trans) i dont think i can come out , everyone in my family is homophobic especially my dad, i dont hate him but i am scared of him There is more empathy for the dead than for the living if i do that, i know they would accept me just because what i did but if i came out being alive they would hate me (English not my main btw sorry)

im currently crying sm my eyes hurt . i poured my absolute heart out to this girl and shes js everything i have ever fucking wanted in life, and i listened to her vent for hours, and hours. n i supported her thru everything and she says she cant be w me bc shes muslim and im a girl, and it hurts so so much.. i wanted it to be her. i need her and i cant have her and she keeps telling me she understands but she doesnt. this girl has kept me alive, im living for her and i js lost my last reason. im so lost..

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no i hate it~

I just want to be held and loved until I fall asleep but unfortunately telling someone that doesn’t change anything so it doesn’t even matter. I actually want even more then that, but if I can’t even get the first thing I think of while sitting here sobbing, it’s greedy to wish for more

does anyone else have spiritual gifts here. I can’t be the only one acknowledging it, swear. I think i have clairvoyance, like I’m always predicting the future I kinda scare myself. but anyway do u believe in reincarnation? I swear I’ve been slowly recalling my past lives lately, all in different timelines and appearances, I remember the way I might’ve died in them, my looks, my name, who I was around etc. I swear I’m not being delulu and I sound crazy rn, I’m not making it up and it’s hard to find other people like me. I’ve always believed in it

I feel like im spinning and spinning sometimes work and college working me up and stressing me out and ontop of it i feel weird with out the girl i saw a future with, its been 5 days since you decided we shouldnt be a thing and ive been thinking if we could of tried to figure it out together and help you get better mentally even if it doesnt sound capable, i would of helped you get thru your stressful days in college, invested in our relationships happiness and memories. I dont even know what to feel or think about you leaving since im still in denial, ive been waking up thinking your still my girl. And looking at my insta and snap notifications thinkings its you. I still wanted good for us even if i told you i needed someone that can communicate. i know multiple dimensions somehow exist, and if its not in this one that it happens then i hope and wish the happy outcome happens in another. I know it could of been bad 4 me eitherways but I would of went to the moon and back for you.

I need to get out of these damn trenches. I’m so fucking deep im making letters that I’ll never send, playlists for them, (day)dreaming abt them, blushing when they text me privately, drawing them, writing short stories abt out future (fucking self insert fanfic ahh), AND IM DEADASS ABT TO MAKE A SONG I JUST NEED A FEW OTHER INSTRUMENTS AND MAYBE LYRICS 😭 The thing is, I can’t tell them because if they actually do end up liking me back, I lowkey have so much baggage. I’m also lowk suicidal and plan on kms a little bit after their birthday so I can be with them one last time (im an hour away, I just moved). If they don’t like me, im lowk scared of rejection anyways and we’re bsf so it would be awkward to hang out casually with someone who just told you they really like you, not platonically. Advice? I also know they DO like a friend of theirs, likely female or feminine which is lowk kinda me? I dress masc but im unlabeled and fine with being called female cuz that’s my birth gender…

this is so selfish but all my friends are genuinely losers like they're obsessed with jesus and they hate parties and if they find out i smoke they'll all leave me and talk shit about me and nobody wants to go to echo park rising with me (anybody from los angeles reading this you should go its this saturday and sunday) but like i really wanted to go and everybodys a bum and they all would rather stay in or go to the mall for the 100th time when will i ever find my crowd

I have arfid. It’s an eating disorder that’s not related to body image but more so like taste, texture, smell, shape, color etc. now to sum it up it’s basically extreme picky eating but not JUST that yk? Anyway I really hate having it, it makes me feel disrespectful and make me wanna stay inside when I have to go over (for example) a friends house and I get to eat there. I already know I’m screwed but again I wanna be respectful and just eat it. um I went over to my Mexican friends house for her bday, her mom made I think pork/chicken? I can’t remember but what’s crazy is a like both, maybe it was something different but it was paired with rice and a tortilla, I like rice and tortillas too but I ate some and gagged because I didn’t like it but again, I didn’t wanna be disrespectful and not eat what I’m given. She also gave us some chicharrones and I didn’t like it, deadass it makes me hate myself sometimes like damn it’s not even that hard it’s not even that serious bruh

I know you said you wanted everything to end because you werent doing right mentally and told me i was better off with someone else, i wish we could of worked it out but i felt like i couldnt do nothing. I had lots of things planned with you but upset to have it cut short , i really remember the times you would call me lil funny nicknames like baboso, and other things, or run your hands thru my arms while watching a movie at the theatre, or listening to music while cruising throughout the city, i really felt like you could of been someone i settled down with and battle anything with, no matter how much i wanted things to happen i realized it cant happen when your other significant other isnt all the way in like you are , a uncomplete circuit. Even if it left me wondering with a lot of what if questions in my head or venting to my coworkers i still wish the very best for you, its a shock to see how quickly things can turnaround, i still wish you the very best no matter the outcome.