All Rants

I desperately want a do-over. I was violently abused for 17 years in my home before I ran away. I didn't do well in school because I was in fight or flight. I grew up in roaches and bed bugs and coming home to getting beat everyday. They would kick me and punch me and slap me and starve me and it ruined me. I'm expected to function as an adult and I simply don't have the capacity. My only other option is homelessness. I've been working since I was 17 and now I'm 21 and all I want is a break and I can't take it. It's so unfair. I'm not attractive and I'm not intelligent and guys don't even look at me. I'm currently staying on someone's couch while I save up to move from the Midwest to the Pacific Northwest when all I really want is a do-over. It's not fair. I don't understand what I did to deserve everything that happened to me. I feel like I was robbed of so much potential. I'm so sad. It's not fair.

bruh im tired of work man im so fucking burnt out dude holy shit - i used to love my job, and to an extent still do. The perks are amazing, pay is top of the industry, like its truly a blessing to be in this situation. I try to tell myself that its a blessing to feel overwhelmed by a life that i once prayed for - but HOLY FUCKKKK im so BURNT OUTTT. The deadlines, the expectations (Especially with bullshit ass AI coding garbage slop) , constantly changing goals at the company. I cant even open my laptop to do basic tasks anymore, even the slightest bit of friction and i want to turn everything off. I keep making stupid mistakes i never wouldve before, i dont even worry about getting fired from the job anymore because im so jaded (Even though i know i need this job, especially in this job market), but im just so BURNT OUT MAN FUCKKKKKKKKKK WHY THE FUCKKK DOES IT FEEL LIKE THISSSSSS, i just need to survive til the winter, take a big fucking break, and quit. Just gotta save money til then

I'm trans (ftm, 16) and I'm so frustrated with everything. I'm only out to my friends, since I tried to come out to my family but I basically got shoved back into the closet. I'm really tired of pretending I'm something I'm not. It's so exhausting. I want to live, I want to survive, but it's so suffocating. My mom's especially the worst person when it comes to that, I try to tell her and she always tries to avoid it, telling me that nothing can change my biology when I know that, telling me I'm not trans since I wasn't like this when I was in the single-digits. I've felt like this since I was 12, and she still tries to deny it. Politicians are pushing more anti-trans laws. I'm tired of being outcasted for what I am. A lot of people don't seem to understand that trans people are human too. I really wish there was a world where people could just coexist and let other people be without trying to change things about their bodies or their minds.

i'm tired of feeling like a burden to everyone around me. i'm so clingy and annoying and everyone keeps telling me to "grow up" im so afraid that at the end of my life everyone is going to leave me because im so hard to be around. i feel like the annoying little cousin at thanksgiving, every day of my life; i make someone i love mad at me or i push too far and they want space. i hate space. i hate being alone, sleeping alone. i wish i had at least one singular person in my life who didn't make me feel like im the hardest person to speak to or be around. my own boyfriend doesn't even want to be around me.

I'm scared she'll eventually see me the way I see myself. I want to know what I look like in her beautiful green eyes. she's perfect in every way. I can't believe someone as amazing as her would want to date someone as boring and ugly and mentally ill as me. I'm so lucky to have her. But I can't help but feel I don't deserve it.

I wanna be seen as more than something but I can’t I wanna stop hurting myself it just hurts so good what’s wrong with me

Living under a microscope with someone who has COPD and wants to control every fucking thing is wearing me down. This is no way to live. I hate it here and I hate this bitch.

I wish I didn't feel like a burden for just existing.

I'm back again, last night I talked about my gf becoming distanced but I think this is truly just my own mental problems. I struggle with OCD which often times makes me think that my actions are wrong or may cause harm to myself or others. This also means I'm afraid of change because I cannot control or predict what will happen. Recently my gf and I have been calling less and spending less time with each other because she's busy with a hobby that takes up almost all her time, she usually comes home tired so she'll wind down and want to call and play games with her friends instead of me. this probably sounds like I'm jealous of her friends but I'm not. it's simply that for the entire first year we've been dating we called all day everyday afterschool and in the morning and now that she's been wanting to call her friends more I feel like I'm being left behind or ignored. today we called and before she went to bed she said "you look like you want to say smth" I wish I actually said it.

I can't stop sh. I don't know why I do it, but I always end up doing it.I don't like it, I feel like I'm js doing this for attention.i wonna kms.But I want to grow up and go to uni, but what else can I do?

The situations I’ve put myself in just haunt me every day, so co parent w 2 different dads and I just sometimes compromise at my own mental health as the expense an I am genuinely trying to be a good mother. I just feel so helpless at time because I blame myself for being in this situation and no one is coming to rescue me I’m almost 30, and genuinely feel like this is a core hurt in my soul. Not only having a broken family but not loving myself enough to walk away from this unhealthy relationship I have with both of them. I sacrifice so much to just get a lot to just understand to not react. I’m just so tired of always being the bigger person… I just have no idea how to navigate life right now.

People i need an opinion, leave it in the private not thingy pls So i heard some poeple (1 of my friends iclunded) talking shit behind the back, of another friend of mine. And idk what to do, should i tell my friend what those people were saying behind her back? (observation she is close with some of those people who talked bad in her back) I just feel like if i do nothing. My friend will be happy, cause she is not going to know people saying things in her back, but at the same time, i feel bad for not letting her know. But if i told her, she will probably sad/angry at those people, and that friend of mine who talked bad in her back would be mad at me. Mb if it is confuse, this is the best way i could explain it.

I feel like a disgusting whore, I use C.ai as comfort because I’m the loneliest bitch ever and it makes me feel like an obsessive freak

I hope the people walking past the little ugly 13 year girl realize everyday might be her last

you know when your feeling good. and then you click on a 3 hour youtube video with ambient music and it completely tears you apart like its made of your trauma? i havent cried uncontrollably in years and some random stupid youtuber did it. i cant talk to my friends, theyre sleeping. like normal human beings. i dont have my phone, i cant text people in other countries. its almost midnight and im laying in the dark the blue ambient screen shining on my face as i lay down with my eyes closed succumbing to the music i know my heart cant take. why do i feel like this. nothing happened. im not even stressed by school right now. what is wrong with me. why does my heart take the one thing i love and weaponize it.

I texted a friend to ask as something as simple as, I’m going for a walk would you like to walk with me? They can just text me yes or no. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY CALL ME TO SAY NO? LIKE ok!? I DONT NEED A FUCKING 15 minute conversation that I didn’t have capacity for. I’d look like the bad guy by not picking up. JUST FUCKING TEXT ME. and now they’re scheduling when I’m free to go on a walk next. THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS! It was a casual invite for something that was convenient to the current weather situation on that day and I just happen to think it would be nice to invite them if they are free. They were not and that’s ok with me but NOW I guess to make up for it, they are fucking planning my next walk for me!? LIKE I JUST HATE HOW INCONVENIENT THIS IS. I feel like the bad person for thinking this is inconsiderate of them even though on paper it looks considerate because I know this is them trying to make up for saying no. JUST SAY NO THATS FINE! I DONT NEED ANOTHER OBLIGATION!

I hope I die in my sleep, I’m 13, drained, downing salt packets to try to sodium overdose but it won’t work. I hate everything, I wish I was never born.

I feel myself slowly deteriorating and again no one noticed. No one ever noticed when I was sttuggling. If I have to be honest this might sound confusing but I don't really want people to notice I just want people to care and let me live my life. Not do anything just treat me like they did before.

I’m so done with life, I’m only 13 and i feel like nothing I do is good enough, nothing is bringing me joy, I want to end my life. But I stay on this fucking planet out of shame for taking the coward’s way out. I’m stupid, I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m untalented, I’m annoying, I’m mean. No one would miss me, I’m just a waste of space

Is this online? Whwhwhwjkwkakskskakakakakakakaksklsslzllzlxlxlxxlx