All Rants

More people would laugh if my cat died of her ill health than they would actually care.

I'm tired of feeling lonely, I open up to friends or family I get jokes in return, if not complains. I'm certain that not a single one of them knows what I'm tired of. My mother is dying I was telling this to my most trusted friends. All I got was silence and a joke "parents do tend to die on their children haha". All I wanted was a pat on the shoulder or "it's going to be alright" or something like that. I also don't remember when was the last time I cried and in a way it's killing me I saw my mother at the hospital hooked up to machines and what not I couldn't bring myself to cry I just have this heavy weight in my throat I can't seem to swallow and the way my dad looks at me with both the tenderness of a father and the sadness of a husband worst is I can't see to do anything right I want to I'm trying to but no matter what I do it's never enough and I'm tired of that of everything I just want to lay on the grass and do nothing

Our cat's being eaten alive by fleas in a severe infestation and my family don't care that she could be anemic, they just want me to shut up and stop making problems.

I don’t understand why my boyfriend choose me. Out of anyone in this world why me. I’m fat, ugly, and a chud. I have such terrible mental health I lash out on him sometimes when I don’t mean to. I’ve been suicidal and sh (6 months sober now cuz of him) I’ve had a ED, I’ve had every problem in the damn book. But no matter how many times I’ve pushed him away, said mean things to him, made him worry. He still stayed. Why. Why does he keep staying. Why. Why. Why after everything I’ve been through this past year or so, I’ve been through it all and he stays. I don’t understand why he stays. He always calls me pretty and beautiful no matter what, he says I look pretty n beautiful without makeup and with makeup. He says he’s always proud of me no matter what. I don’t know what to believe. Out of anyone why me. Why me.

My social aniexty is so bad bro. I can’t even make new friends without me shaking and sweating and twisting my fingers and moving my legs back and fourth. I don’t know why I’m the way I am. Sometimes I wish I fucking wasn’t.

I wish there was a device where you could delete shit off your brain. Because oh my god if I had that device I’d delete so many memories. I don’t want to remember it. Because if I do then I end up crying for a hour or so. I hate that.

I hate bitches who let their boyfriend disrespect you but instead of defending you like a good friend should. She defends him by saying “he did have a rough day..” I don’t give two FUCKS. It doesn’t give him the right to disrespect ME.

I still remember the day my parents found about my sh. (I’m 6 months sober rn) it was honestly the worst day of my life. My parents are Hispanic so ig you can say mental health in our community isn’t important or treated as such. I still remember when my dad lifted up my sleeve and he saw my sh. He yelled at me and started asking me questions. My mom was asking me why I was doing “that” and that I was crazy and that I was going to hell/ people who do that go to hell. And then my mother slapped my across the face. I still feel the way her hand slide across my face. I started crying and shaking a lot. My dad took my phone away from me. And I went upstairs sobbing. I wanted to call my brother so badly. Just to see if he’d come pick me up. I was going to call him on my tablet but I hesitated. I go downstairs and I finish eating and clean my room. My mom pulls me into a hug trying to say she’s sorry or wtv. I fucking hate that bitch, I already hated her but this. I hated her 10x more.

omg I’m sorry I can’t hold my silence, white people piss me off so much. I keep trying to not judge them as a whole and be friends with different people but it’s simply not it. none of them can accept that they’re white and even worse when they claim to be woke but don’t practice what they preach. they always be doing some super white people shit. I am honestly a hypocrite posting this because I’m not practicing what I preach either but saying this but it’s my truth. like I just give up on them. whenever I rarely have a crush on a white guy they always turn out to be violently racist or have a race play fetish. all the white people shit genuinely kills me inside like how can you be so uncultured?? unseasoned?? uneducated?? I just wanna meet some cool white people to change my view on this. dont quote some shitty booty ass Taylor swift song every two seconds or talk with the valley girl accent PLS. again i feel guilty and wrong saying this but it’s truth

My mental health has been getting so much worse over theses past month or so. I’ve tried everything. I tried MAMING new friends, tried to watch new shows, talk to my boyfriend more, talk to my friends. But no matter how much I try it’s so hard to keep living. It’s hard to stay motivated throughout the day. I use to love cooking so much but it’s such a hassle for me to even wake up every morning and finish the day. I overthink about so much to the point where I cry myself to sleep every chance I get. I don’t understand why or how my boyfriend is still with me. Soon enough he’s going to get tired and once he sees the real me he’ll leave me for someone who isn’t me. Someone who’s prettier and skinner than what I am. I’m just so done and so tired. Is this how I will feel for the rest of my life. I can’t even do the things I once loved doing. It just feels all so heavy and I can’t do this anymore. I’m drowning deep in the water and I can’t swim back up. I just hate how I feel. I wish. I.

brah I’m so done like I’m honestly just a depressed chud with too many mental issues, I swear no one ever takes me seriously. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a minor, a little girl?? or maybe it’s cus I’m a little girl of color? I do alright in school?? I’m quiet? idk but it’s killing me, I swear im going insane. I’m diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety but there’s definitely something else wrong with me. I don’t know what I suspect maybe it could be inattentive adhd?? idk. but there’s something. it also pains me when people wanna pretend they have serious mental issues when they are undiagnosed AND don’t show actual symptoms of that disorder. Idk what I’m rambling about but I swear I got some screws loose I need help

It’s just I feel like anything and everything I do just ends up disappointing me and others who are in my life. I always ruin what’s going good for me in life. I’m so envious and so jealous of others who have it so easy in life. Like their popular, their pretty, their happy and they are doing well mentally, they are skinny and have such wonderful lives with such amazing families who are there for them every step. I’m struggling so bad right now. I’ve lost so many friends and it hurts to have that feeling that they are going to leave. I’m pretty sure my friends I have left are tierd of me and are going to leave me too. I just wish I could be normal. I just wish I could be skinny and pretty and have mental health that doesn’t suck everything from you until you’re an empty shell. I wish I was someone else, I wish I wasn’t me. I’m so alone. I feel so. Disgusted in myself for everything I have done up till this moment. I hate myself so much. Idk why I stay. I wish I could just not be me.

anyway guys why does the most embarrassing shit always happen to me?? so ofc after 2-3 years of not liking anyone at school I got a crush on this guy. ofc I got intrigued and did what any sane person would do, found his TikTok somehow and stalked it. so unfortunately I was early and saw this post of A FUCKING SWASTIKA. HELLO???? so ofc I’m shocked and heartbroken like fuck nah I had a crush on a neo Nazi??? Btw before I saw this I checked his following/followers list and eventually confirmed he had a gf (my friends told me he might) so I was already like aw darn. boom. I remember her freaking username was (name)_1488. I thought they didn’t have a meaning(the numbers) til i remembered I saw this post on twitter about js like Nazi shit and remembered…wait…ain’t that number associated with nazis?? I thought I was tweaking til I saw the swastika. no way that’s a coincidence like wth I was so shocked and eventually realized my friends were right and he was ugly as shit anyway

i deserve to be shot and killed why do i say the things i do why do i hurt people who care about me why do i feel like i need to push them to getting angry with me as if their anger will make me feel better. i just want someone to hate me. get angry with me. punch me. tell me you hate me and want me dead. I deserve that treatment. im such a piece of shit i dont know why anyone wants to still care about me when i say things that are so awful sometimes. If everyone woke up and realized they didn't have to put up with me and left, their lives would improve. i don't want that, but do i?? is that why it seems like I'm always pushing people to the point of upsetting them? do i WANT to be left alone but i do it by hoping others leave me? am i just projecting my feelings into them or something? i genuinely don't know, i just know that i feel like such a piece of shit

this is so annoying, stop making it seem like you know me. I don't care for your advice. why does everything need to turn into a lecture and or an analysis on my personality. I didn't ask for it. just please leave me alone. You make my jaw lock up and the tears prick my eyes, i hate that you affect me and that I can't focus on anything you say. I am dealing with so much. Can't you see? It dawns upon me how hard I tried to escape this very thing and now its catching up to me. I don't see a way out. The people around me are so fake

Look, if you don’t like it, just don’t take in the internship student—and don’t go and crush their self-esteem. You’re just a narrow-minded parent with no empathy, two-faced, inconsistent, obsessed with showing off your power, manipulative, and only into pretty girls from the city—you’re such a damn jerk!!!!!!

I feel like I'm falling underwater. Life is technically not even that hard right now but it feels so hard to get up everyday. It feels so stupid my thoughts are preventing my physical body of doing anything. Like there's a huge weight on my chest. I want to scream but don't have the energy.

I hate being hypersexed, sometimes wish i had no drive. It'd match the lifenessness I have already. Who cares, better off dead anyway.

Yall craving wingstop too?? Or am i just fat

Periods are so gay, fym im brutally bleeding out my hooha for a week?