All Rants

im so flipping pissed. why whenever i express my opinions in school grade gc or class gc, this one guy who im going to call Bird always hates on me for it. ill mention something like 'oh yeah, i was listenng to this really good miku song the other day' and Bird will be like 'bro miku is sus and gross the only people who like it are fat chud 35 year old preds who s3xualise anime girls' and then mute me bc he somehow is admin like huh? i know some fandoms and stuff i like are not for everyone and some of the people in that fandom can abuse or create harmful stereotypes about that community... but you did NOT have to attack me for such a simple, small remark on what i like. seriously, being alt/weird kid/therian/queer/merely having niche likes these days kinda sucks. -A

i’m such a loser. i’ve had depression since i was 9-10 years old i’m fucking pushing 18 now it doesn’t get better and i’m tired of the lies and me lying to myself. sure sometimes i’ll feel like everything is fine, “oh i finally beat it!” then it hits like a truck. i learned that depression is not something that leaves you, it will always stay with you like gum on your shoe, then it will hit you like a truck when you least expect it, maybe it is possible to get rid of this mental illness but not for me. i’m severely isolated aswell, i have 1 friend that i’m not even slightly close to in school. and online friends but i’m having urges to ghost them all i know they see me as annoying and weird anyway. Also because of my isolation (and prolly absent father) i catch feelings so easily like ew? what’s wrong with me i feel so disgusted with myself i’m such a fucking weirdo. i don’t wanna live anymore tbh. i see death as the ultimate peace and i want that for all etenrity

why the fuck do people not know how to walk on the sidewalk

I wanna commit. But I wonder what they would care. Will they still care about me? Why can't I chose.. I need therapy but I don't want them telling my parents

i keep crying so fucking much and my parents don’t give a fuck and when i say i need alone time, they ask me why im crying, and threaten to put me in styff that traumatized me. my eyes are red as hell and im so dehydrated and it hurts so bad i’ve been crying for likw 2 hours straight

PSLE genuinely feels like it's destroying my class's mental and physical health .Like first of all, most of my friends have been vomiting bc of PSLE stress but still come to school. INCLUDING ME BTW b4 this I had only vomited twice in my whole life and then after I got my PSLE entry proof I almost vomited for the first time bc of how stressed I was.And my sleep schedule is fucked too 💀 I used to sleep at 11pm latest but now my insomnia is acting up and I literally slept at 3:45am and woke up at 6am .And I can't even enjoy the things I usually love anymore. Like I usually see Toph and get REALLY excited but now I'm just “yay”even watching ATLA/LOK doesn't hit the same anymore. I can't even make my OCs as descriptive in my head as I used to.And it's not just me either. Most of my class isn't even putting in 100% anymore bc we're just so tired and we just want this whole thing to be OVER my class has also been getting scolded a lot bc we're “not helping tch” so yeah thats my rant ig (★)

my anger is building up and one day i will do something horrible

I really liked her. I dated her but it ended short. It was my fault. I wanna die, I just wanna leave my embarrassing world. I seriously need help but I don't wanna seem pathetic. I have cats to take care of. I lost my kitten. I lost the girl of my world because of a small breakup. We're friends but I wanna be more. I'm too clingy that I wanna die. I'm so disgusting. If I told anyone, they'll probably tell my mom and my mom would buy me therapy, take away my device, or possibly the mental hospital.

i just had a crazy thought of killing one of my family members. i think i should gethelp but i do t wanna go to jail lmaoooo its kinda graphic but i need to put this down somewhere. he was holding a camera tripod and calling me names, and i know im over reacting, but i genuinely want to stab it into his eye and hear him scream. it'd be so funny to me. this isn't the first time, and wont be the last. i feel like im on a really tight string thats about to fucking snap. i've thought of killing people before but DAMN its strong now.

My friend really pisses me off. She can slander my music taste, but the second I say “your Michael Jackson obsession is borderline weird” (didn’t even say weird, I said BORDERLINE) she gets all pissed off and ignores me for the rest of the day. So she can hate on stranger things, my favorite characters, and my favorite ships, but the second I say “arcane sucks” or “genshin impact sucks”, I get spammed with “k y s” and the n word. I swear to god, she just turned into such a bitch. She was such an awesome person until seventh grade. She was my ride or die all throughout middle school but now I’m scared our friendship won’t last until the end of highschool. What do I do??

i hate my brother the biggest fucking bum in the world. i hope he gets no girlfriend and he dies

I think i was touched when i was little and im spirling

i fucking hate how my parents restrict me for showing my emotions and being myself, like yeah I do stuff that i shouldnt do but for fuck sake it was their fault why that happened and they start blabbering about their not pressuring me to study?! like I get pressured every single day by the thought they might not talk to me ever again because I failed one of my grades, like I am seriously trying my best LIKE TRYING TRYING all I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT "how can I be better in this subject" "how can i study properly" thats all I can think about and at this point my friends are whats keeping me alive everytime I go to school all i can think about is how excited I am to see them and honestly I cant live without god i mean i cant say its his fault but his the one thats guiding my path not me hahahaha i hate my life

I don't think I can any longer feel sympathy or anything of that sorts. when I see people cry and in pain, I no longer feel what I used to. I used to sympathize so heavily, now I couldn't care less, but I act like I do and try to comfort them. I guess you cant do something that nobody has exactly done for you. I've always given but never got something back.

honestly idk anymore. this summer I've been getting better from my depression, as last school year I was severely depressed, and I thought things were getting better. but I guess they weren't lying when they said depression never really goes away. its worse now. I feel like I'm constantly annoying my friends and they don't wanna be friends with me. all my online friends that I genuinely care/cared about either forgot about me, or idk are just ignoring me / being dry. I try to be loving and caring, as much as I can. I don't know what I do wrong. I cant draw, Ive lied all my life about that. the one thing I'm supposed to be good at, I'm not. I'm so done with this, I wanna cry and scream and just.. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I cant socialize anymore, after depression, my communication skills have become shit. I'm so tired of everything, the people I care about are all leaving one by one.. atp Im just gonna fucking distance myself from everyone man. what else is there to do..? -Lottie

this is so unfair I don’t know the last time my family was able to go grocery shopping there’s literally billionaires out there and my mom can barely afford any food or clothes or gas and ofc the people in my life that could help are greedy as fuck I’m tired of living like this I’m so hungry I don’t know the last time I ate a full meal I have snacks here and there my fridge is literally just water and a couple cans of sprite, if I’m lucky I’ll find something like yogurt til I find out it’s fucking expired by 6 months

When I’m watching someone be gaslighted about their emotions and im 6 again standing over my dads bedside praying he dies in his sleep because of how abhorrent he was in gaslighting me

Services I've paid for since starting work are not open to a disabled, and protected individual like myself. I hate this fucking system, I hate unaware, selfish people who lack empathy for others. Disability is the largest growing minority that isn't prejudice. Tomorrow you could need services thousands rely on. Fucking irony that you'll only understand the level of necessity once you need it yourself and at that point no one wants to help you because you couldn't have cared before. Fucking hate it here.

Anyone relate? For me, starting a new school year is tough, especially when you're bad at socializing. Usually, i can't keep a conversation going, so they slowly start losing interest in me. Now, I don't have many friends. I'm scared I'm not going to make any friends this year.

disassociation is stupid. its not you cant focus or choosing not to. its you cant exist right. your stuck somewhere and forced to watch but your sleepy, your eyes are tired, and your moving through everything but its not you its them, and you wonder are you really just a stupid, self aware npc in some gross, tacky, slice-of-life game. i hate it. i wonder if im just a vessel for someone else. -A