All Rants

The same troll at Quick Rant continue to put up media links, because they think there is no other information out there like free information at Library links?

My mom keeps insulting me, I feel worthless like a burden. She says I'm rotting as in literally just because I have some bruises and wounds, and that I smell like dead people and grandmas. But other people don't smell that.

I’m worried I’ll never actually find love

It's quite strange isn't it? I remember you most when I am around other people. In other people's company that remind me of nothing except you. I try to hold myself together and drizzle my pillow long into the darkness of the night. When I am in solitude I don't think about you for even a second, matter of fact I don't think about anything at all- I am good at disguising it, good at making my ache seem minimal, but it lingers inside of me eating away at me like a rotten gnawing diseas, until I am nothing but complete layers of emptiness.

20 Years: 20 years ago, when I was 18 and in my first quarter of college, I was visiting my boyfriend, who was a couple of years younger (turning 17). He had 2 foster brothers and 1 real brother who lived in the same house. They all stayed in a downstairs room and had their beds pushed together. One day, we all piled onto the bed and watched a movie (I was lying between my boyfriend and his brother). We were all falling asleep, and I remember my boyfriend turning off the TV. I remember waking up and feeling a hand on my hip, and I heard someone say something in my ear, either don't say anything or make a sound. I realized it was my boyfriend's 14-year-old brother. He continued to touch me and eventually penetrated me. I wasn't attracted to him like that, but for some reason, I didn't stop him. I didn't know that was what he was going to do. After this, he continued to blackmail me (nothing sexual that I remember), and I eventually parted ways with my bf after. Ashamed.

I hate to admit it but i miss him. A lot.

I’m emotionally exhausted. For weeks and months I’ve been under pressure nonstop.. finals, school ending, fear of the future, worrying about careers, a new school, friendships changing, my habits, religion, my body, everything at once. I kept pushing through it without really recovering, and now my brain and body are overloaded. That’s why I’m: crying easily, getting angry over tiny things, overwhelmed by normal tasks, isolating myself from people, overthinking constantly, feeling numb sometimes and emotional other times, struggling with urges more when I’m stressed or exhausted, feeling like everything is “too much”. I’m also grieving a chapter of my life ending. Even though I wanted the school year to finish because it stressed me out, it was still familiar and important to me. Now that it’s actually over, part of me feels sad, scared, and not ready to move on yet. My nervous system is probably burnt out too: my sleep schedule has been messy

I find it weird that I feel jealous when I hear other people praise their partner but mine almost never praises me. I constantly wonder if I'm too much or I'm trying too much because yes she compliments me, but it's mostly when I initiate first. Like when I tell her I think she's pretty, she says she thinks I'm cute. Sometimes she says she loves me first, then we go back and forth until I'm like "we love each other equally." I love her with all my heart but she's constantly holding back. I praise her myself and I know I fluster her, but she doesn't fluster me much. She holds back and is almost always focused on gaming and videos. I made a new friend that likes flustering me, and calls me a good boy once in a while just to tease me. I never really realized how much I was lacking praise until they started praising me as a joke. My partner says she doesn't mind if they do it, but it has me questioning some things about my relationship with her.

I live with my brother and a single mom. We’ve been struggling financially for a little over a year now without child support. My dad lost his job and is tens of thousands of dollars behind. I just feel so empty and worthless. We’re not living, we’re surviving, and it’s exhausting. I’ve been trying to get a job but nothing’s been working out and I feel like I’m letting my mom down. She’s constantly frustrated from stress and she gets angry at everyone when no one even did anything. That’s exhausting in itself. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her because you never know if she’s gonna be in a good or bad mood. She’s a good mom and she’s my best friend, I just wish that she would understand that she’s not the only one that’s under stress in our situation. I’m struggling with this mentally and I feel too afraid to tell her because she’ll just brush it off and treat it like it’s not a big deal.

My name is Leo this is my goodbye letter. "By the time your read this whether if it was a horrific accident or you found me I'm long gone. At the time of writing this I am 25 going on 26 years old. In all seriousness I never thought I would make this far let alone be alive this long. I didn't have anyone to talk to to think this through, no one to hold my hand or make me laugh or let my cry it out. Some might've said they would've but i wouldnt be making this if they did. I'm always in a constant battle of whether I'm good enough for anyone, I've come to terms that i know I'm not. Hell i can't even get a text from very close friends who decided to up and move away or even my family. It's crazy though, im supposed to be starting college soon and im leaving this Earth before my grandparents. They'll pass knowing i couldve been saved and wasnt. I'm no where near perfect but i would tried to be. As it stands i feel like a burden, i always have. I knew this would come." Save someone TODAY

I wish I had someone who cared about hearing about things I like or found cool or just wanted to share. I have friends but whenever I go to tell them something they’re not interested or they ignore and when it’s in a group chat I’m skipped over. I know it’s an impossible wish bcoz someone can’t be interested in hearing about all the things I want to say but I still can’t help but think about it every free minute I get. I have a lot of different likes and interests and I just want to share and for people to have a nice reaction. I’ve learned to just keep things to myself and I don’t talk to my friends as much about my interests and no one notices. I only speak to my friends about interests that we have in common so I know they will care about what I have to say and not have to pretend or ignore me. I’m used to being forgotten about and but is it so wrong to want to be seen? to want to be heard?

I’m just annoyed bc I have been trying for years to gain a social media following. It has worked in some aspects and recently has been growing pretty quickly. The reason? I finally decided to stop posting my art& start posting my tits. It’s extremely demoralizing. No one cared about allllllll of the different art forms im skilled in, they only care about my body. Even women, this is not just a men issue. I actually stopped adding men last year and deleting most of them bc I figured it would help get my art to the people I want to see it & less creepy DMS. I have friends who are gorgeous, just like me, only difference is they pretty much always post half naked. I don’t condemn this but when all they do is set up a tripod&snap pics in lingerie&get thousands of reactions while I spend days&weeks creating something it just gets to a point where maybe I should just fucking quit and do the same. It’s not as if I’m not also super hot. It’s just that I want to be known for my skills&not my bod

There’s like an 80% chance that you look like shit in yoga pants…

i keep thinking about ending it and i know in my religion its one of the worst sins but i cant stop thinking of it. i feel guilty even thinking of it that it makes a ball grow in my throat. but it wont go away

Two days ago my friend got hurt and I was conserned like a normal friend would be. But when I get scared or anxious from a serious situation I always joke around so instead of expressing my consern I joked about it. I said things like 'why did you do that for' , 'you defiently did it on purpose.' I did eventually say that I was sorry that they were hurt and that they feel better but apparently me making those jokes hurt them. So for the rest of the day they ignored me. So the next day I texted them saying hey I think your mad at me but hey i'm sorry for making those jokes its just how my brain processes serious situations. They did respond saying yeah those jokes hurt me, but I would never just block you without letting you explain why you did what you did. They forgave me and I asked if they were feeling better they said yes. So throughout the day I messaged them, but they never responded. And today they still haven't messages me back and i'm worried.

Lately I've been feeling... empty. I don't really feel mad, sad, happy, frustrated, or anything. I feel absolutely nothing. I wake up and I don't wanna leave my bed, I don't wanna study yet I don't wanna have fun or anything. Of course when I spend time with my close ones I usually laugh and have a good time but it is... temporary. 1 Hour max? After this I start to have enough of everyone and just wanna do... nothing. If that wasn't enough lately I've feeling extreme pain in my whole body and it's driving me insane because I can't even sit without sometimes crying in pain. Idk honestly, I just want... everything to end. I don't wanna kms, of course not, I don't have the "balls" to do it but at the same time the though of living my life is just... not as thrilling anymore since I meet "XYZ", who is litellary a person I've wanted to be my whole life. Rich, smart, liked, a lot of friends, girls are after him... What I would give to be in his skin for 1 one day. To feel like feels everyday

People are proving what I thought to be true. Which are adding to my assumptions. Ofc I've given the benefit of the doubt but this is kinda disproving it proving I was right about them being loud on purpose. Neighbors we have most every day like early morning make it sound like it's raining giant sleet pellets on my ceiling. Ok. The last 2 days because I think someone has been there with a baby, no floor roaring, ni thumping. PROVING MY POINT THEY'RE A BUNCH OF PETTY KAREN BITCHES. if they could be this quiet now they could be all the time. My other family is gaslighting me and downplaying what I'm saying. "Why would they do it on purpose"? BECAUSE THEY'RE KAREN'S AND DON'T LIKE US That's why. It's just TOO coincidental. 95 percent believe it's purposeful. I hope I'm wrong but it would appear I'm not.

Mindlessly rambling on about celebrities is so embarrassing. I don't want to hear about your Taylor Swift with a face like a camel. How depressing.

I can't stand people because of how they are. I can't stand the way they think. I am fine when I am in my personal bubble but people just ruin it for me. I am never happy when I am social. I just wish I vented all those times without people commenting. It makes me so mad. Their opinions, perceptions, perspectives and etc; it wasn't relevant to my vent. It was like so far off but I didn't like it anyway. I never asked people to tell me what they fucking thought and yeah i know it's the fucking internet, i just wish people would shut up because I don't like other people. They take away my joy and people don't matter. They aren't important to me. I am more important than they are. People wreck and ruin my life. I know because they send me to dark place. I am just so frustrated. Thanks a lot people. I love myself more than anyone. Call me a fucking narcissist if you will but at least I treat myself better when I am alone. I make life worth living. I make life spectacular.

i hate my mom with a burning passion. she whips me likes a slave, punches me like in the face, physically and emotionally harms me as a way to put me in my place. then she has the fucking nerve to say that i hurt HER! i hope she dies an agonizing death all by herself. hopefully soon. fucking bitch.