All Rants

I WANT FUCKING HELP I WANT ATTENTION I WANT SOMEONE TO NOTICE I'M FUCKING LOSING MY SHIT PLEASE SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME I'M SO ANGRY AND TIRED AND PISSED AND UPSET PLEASE PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE I HAVE LITERALLY NO ONE PLEASE SOMEONE HELP FUCKING HELP ME I WANT TO HANG MYSELF SO SO BAD PLEASE HELP HELP I DON'T WANT TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE FUCKING HELP

i feel like i have to be perfect all the time. if i get to loud im inconsiderate. When im tired im lazy. i feel so trapped

I don't know about my talent or skill, I never got taught as a child, I don't know what I want and I'm afraid of the future

am i selfish for having suicidal thoughts? people around me says its stupid n that theres more waiting for me in life, but i cant feel nothing yet also feel everything at the same time (?) idek if im worthy to breathe the same air as those achievers that actually have purpose in life...

Hell, I sorta get the VR complaints but like I'd rather be as close to the fantasy as possible so sorry if I just want to actually feel something when most of your yap takes me out of it. Fuck sake... why bother? I already know according to others I'm difficult to be around and even if I ain't arguing I have to try to put up with you fuckers, you can't reciprocate. Theatre of the mind, can you invent people who like me? Oh wait, yeah that's right you can't.

Also, here's the problem with DnD being just pen and paper and mind theatre... Some of us out here really can't understand the mental picture you're yapping about and when you get personal, it's easy to get disinterested... forgive me for just wanting to physically see your b.s.

Fuck I’m tired of my grandma living I hate her she sucks and she sucks the life outta this house and she’s killing me mom slowly with her bullshit I hate how angry she gets with dementia it makes her awful and fucking annoying I wanna bash her head in and toss her out the house FUCK I NO LONGER ENJOY HER SHES A BURDEN ON MY HOUSEHOLD AND I WANT HER GONE DIIIE ALREADY

Ask question, get essay on why youre in the wrong. Fuck sake, it's why I don't bother.

ifl i dont rly belong anywhere. i dont feel like myself at home cuz my family consists of hot tempered judgemental ppl who constantly rage over every small thing while im the only one who takes everything in and stays calm. i dont rly get angry so instead of fighting back i js take the blame for everyone and it makes me feel like shit sometimes. i also feel like i dont rly belong in school cuz my friends all hv similar interests and freedom but i dont. my parents r strict so theres alot of things that everyone has tried that i havent. i dont go out alot w friends even tho im like turning 20 cuz i hv like some sort of guilt and fear that ill get crashed out at by my family who constantly guilt trips me everytime i dont go out w them. i hvent gotten into a relationship either cuz every time a person i take interest in starts to like me back i back out cuz im afraid that i js disappoint them like how i disappoint my family

I feel like my intelligence and identity is constantly belittled by my family who treat me like a pet and just use me for their own suffocating affection needs, I've been stuck in uni for 2 years and can't find a job. I have no friends, I am surrounded by lots of people, yet still feel alone. I pass one exam on the 13th try and they say "there's our good boy, our little genius, we knew you'd do it", I would have graduated next week if it wasn't for them. I get constantly judged, scrutinized, all my relationships get stalked on by them, they are gossip seekers to the brim, I feel like living in Big Brother with no escape, no skill to face life alone, they need me dependent on them. I learnt to tie my shoelaces alone only at the age of 19 because they never taught me, they never taught me anything, I feel like a child and that my life will only start when I'll finally escape from this house. Yet, I can't find a job either...

It happened again 😡 Ofc my parents are talking inappropriately so I put in my earbuds- but since I’m halfway deaf..I can’t hear when my ear buds are in. So why TF ARE YOU MAD AT ME? HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH 😡 I DONT WANNA HEAR YOU, BUT WHN I PUT MY EARBUDS IN YOU GET PISSED? VHAIIVHAVHAVJHAIHAVKHAVIHAVJHAVHAJVJGAHVJAVJHAVHJVAHJVHKAVHKAKBAKHBABHKAVKHVHKAHVAHJAVHJAVKHAVHJAVJHVHIAVJHAJHAHHVJAVGJACHGYTKAKTYDAKDTYAKDYTATYKFAKHGFKAHGFAKTUFKYTAFTYAFYTKFAFTKYAJFAFJGCAGFCAFCAGF.UTFARTULWLUTWFFYLWC,YTA,FHCAC,GHAC,GH,GHCA,GHCAC,TH,AFTUACTY,YTFFYLTA,TFUAT,UFATF,UTC,UA,YFTAFT,YACKTH,FTHAFT,AUFKTUALUFTALUFTALFUTALUFTAFLUTALFUTULFTALUFTALUTFALYFUALUYFAFYULFYULAFLUYAFLUYALFU SO ARE YOU., ARE YOU REALLYYYYYYYYYY GOING TO BED? BITCH

Everything is going wrong I thought it would get better but my hopes js go down the drain dying js feels sm more easier

i get so disgusted with myself and i think now its my fault but in the past i could blame it on someone else but i kind of feel reliant on it and it's gross. i think itll mess me up too and that scares me i hate my body and i used to wonder if everyone in my environment does and i think we all secretly to some level hate ourselves and im starting to think everyone here is miserable ive tried a few times to hurt myself because i feel ashamed or angry the first times i tried i couldnt draw blood but i have a few times since then and its kind of like this sense of pride or accomplishment idk there's alos this girl and its my fault too but i think shes starting to make me uncomfortable and i dont know how to say no she's also going through things and i think saying no would just make thinsg worse for her i miss my real best friend i have other friends now i guess but i miss her soso much she just loves her stupid boyfriend

I was groomed as a child by my cousin aged 15 you are aware what you where doing i was 7 or 8 when my innocence was gone and only found out recently that my brother told my cousin that its fine for him to do them stuff to me bc i wouldnt understand that its wrong i thought it was all normal i became hypersexial i feel like my brother had did this bc he didnt want to feel terrible that he was grooming my sister recently she told me that my brother said weird things like suck it its clean and also then it was a failed attempt i felt my cousins brother doing stuff with me when i was sleeping but i acted unaware i didnt want to face the awkwardness then his sister i have remorse idk but i thought it was normal and we did weird stuff too this just made me do unusal stuff with ppl as a child recently i found out my brother was the culprit i was disgusted and found out he raped my sister he was 20 and she was 13 sleeping we was both abused and screamed at as kids btw and she had a miscaridge

i don't know what i'm supposed to feel nothing is wrong but something is wrong my venture doesn't feel earned it feels off once again, the never-ending looming feeling of agnosthesia taints what i classify as positive or negative what am i supposed to feel how am i supposed to feel r.s

Yesterday my mother told me I was getting too fat, which I am, i admit it. Genuinely I'm already so done with being the joke, being constantly fat shamed, being told I need to lose weight, I do need to lose weight but I genuinely can't, getting out of bed is like a chore to me, everyday I wake up and think to myself "I don't even want to live anymore" how the fuck am I supposed to excercise cuz I'm genuinely just a lazy fuck , Self harm and pornographic content is like the only way for me to feel something, I relapsed again yesterday, idek bro I'm prolly attention seeking for doing SH in visible spots, I don't even want to eat anymore, I mean they want me to lose weight so I guess I'll lose weight by not eating and I don't wanna eat either, I'll try to vent to my mom and she'll say kids can't be stressed and my shit is minor like genuinely they pmo so much. life pmo so much, I didn't even fucking ask to be born.

I hate my roommate and his family. That make me feel so small and like a child. They raided and threw out so much of my stuff from the kitchen and speak to me as if I'm a lesser person. I hate this so much.

Im falling back in help

why the actual fuck did my dad spend a whole HOUR waiting to tell me that my mom had to go to the hospital cos her shoulder literally would not move?? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT TELL ME I WAS LITERALLY AWAKE IN MY BEDROOM???

Promised myself that I wouldn't overdo with exercising. Today is supposed to be a rest day and it's tough