All Rants

i fucking hate my mom, shes taking away everything. shes taking away the only things that are keeping me alive, i hope she fucking dies.

i turned 21 recently and neither of my parents or any family showed up to the celebration, i didn't even get a call from anyone. i've always called on birthdays, holidays, i visit the family whenever i have a few days off in a row, i do what i can to keep in touch while balancing adult life. not a single call. just a few texts (mostly from siblings) and some advice on what to eat before the party. i'm not a party person, and i didn't even want to go to my own party, but my coworkers/friends planned it and i didn't want to be a buzzkill. idk it just really hurts that my parents are able to plan weekends off months in advance and show up to every single event for my siblings and cousins, but i can't even get a happy birthday phone call for the last legal adult milestone. i didn't want my boss to be the one to buy me my first shot in a club i don't even remember the name of. i wanted to get barbeque and a beer with my parents and laugh at my siblings trying to avoid bbq sauce fingers.

One more rant... while the transgender folks have their battles and people like them, I know they don't get all that they need but from the people I've seen... they have a support network close by. (Yes I get some aren't as lucky according to online chats, but I don't see that in real life encounters) I get I'm just some creepy fuck but can I actually just find a person who can tolerate me? There's people out there who get their support networks and then there's dickheads like me who if I tried being me... All i get is feeling like I'm better off not being born. Jealous? Yeah. Assholish? Yeah... but it's my current life and I'm just told to deal with it. People are ass.

My dad died this year and it wasn’t until today that I realized some of the impact it’s actually having. I’ve been putting distance between myself and the rest of my family, who I’ve always claimed were my number one value, and now I’m finding I’m acting like I don’t even love them anymore… the uninformed might even think I hate them. I don’t know how I feel about them anymore, and I no longer know myself if they are no longer the most important thing to me. I think I hate myself, not them. I’ve never hated myself before. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. Losing my father has broken me. I can’t figure out how to move forward.

It's funny because it's pathetic to watch untalented people such as myself struggle with grasping basic facts and being unable to relate to anyone else from our own ignorance. It's funny that hating bugs like me is natural selection and it keeps the race strong.

the older i get, the sadder i am. and at some point, i'm convinced life isn't worth living. at all. problems i tried so hard to ignore, people around me keeps reminding me of it, that sometimes it suffocates me. and the person i once depended on, i learned to hate. i hate that i hate him. but i just can't help it. i hate people who can't stand true to their words. or maybe i just hate everyone and everything. i even hate myself.

Hi. Life's been hard. Waking up every day is a huge struggle. about a month ago, I lost my mom. now every day, I wake up with a heavy heart. I no longer believe life is worth living. I have no energy, no motivation. Me and my boyfriend have been having problems. we almost broke up. no one notices that I can't handle this. I feel if I tell them, they'll just tell me I'm being dramatic or that it'll eventually go away, but i don't think it will. I even relapsed, after being 6 months clean. I have a drug addiction. and I'm trying to get right with God. I'm getting baptized soon, and I want to try and stop sinning. I want to see my mom in heaven. but all I want to do is end it. because I feel I have no purpose left on this Earth, but I know i do because God still has a plan for me. but it's so hard. I guess this may be a cry for help, I don't know, but i might end it soon, I'm trying not to, but I might. anyways, I'm sorry for ranting. a hope everyone is having a good day or night.

I feel like I’m an attention seeker but I don’t wanna be? I swear I beg for attention without even realizing it but I hate attention at the same time like ew no why are you acknowledging me

What I have to say fam just wants to blow it off. My feelings get invalidated. They'll just go oh lord. Well how would they feel if someones obnoxious ass feet above them crackling a ceiling sounded like the ceiling was being sawed in half?! Well on a Sunday and I hardly get any sleep because of the bunch that live above me I went back to sleep. And awaken to hear that shit their obnoxious loud ass noises. They're like I'm not worried about them. I BET YOU WOULD BE IF THEY JUMPED YOU OUT OF BED EVERY FUCKING MORNING. Yeah thanks for caring fam. I get the worst treatment from them yet they want so much from me or to do so much for them. If people wouldn't be obnoxiously loud I wouldn't gaf what they do. But no matter how I seem to feel I get invalidated. The neighbors don't the sense a goose has and have the maturity of a toddler. Ok why tf should I care how my fam feel about stuff if they don't what I'm dealing with. I hate the crap I go through smh

I have been study but I still failed and even though people think I’m young and still have a future I don’t really see anything ahead of me

badly crying right now mag isa walang mapag sabihan ng kahit ano

If someone makes any topic about their autism this or ADHD that, I already know I don't want to spend time with them. Because it's all they will talk about.

My birthday is on september. But since we went to a lot of places in august, we’re not gonna go anywhere on september. Better yet, that means i am going to miss the 30 year anniversary event near me. And i am going to a camp, THAT I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR. bruh

oopsies i just cannot talk shit about pp who is better than me. my bad. like why do they behave nothing rather than shit. GIVE ME SOME RESPECT DUDE like what the fuck is wrong with you, actually and mentally like you said that: pls dont text in english i don't understand. THEN WHY DID U TEXT THE FREAKING SENTENCE IN ENGLISH. IF YOU ARENT RELATABLE JUST FUCKING SHUT THE MESSAGES DOWN. you always have this thing. in a group, i text stuff with the other friend, with relating topics but not with you. and you said that, pls text in a freaking private one. she continued: the notifications, its annoying WHY TF YOU DIDNT TURN IT OFF, DO I HAVE TO SPEak TO MARK ZUCKERBURG just to help you with it? then why did u did the freaking same thing and didnt even talk about it.???? LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? if is annoying IT IS YOUR PROBLEM.?????? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? AND what is your problem with me texting in english are u jealous. u said u dont understand, IM NOT ASKING U TO UNDERSTAND IT?????

Respectfully, Fck you E__A I despise you with all my guts and I hope you d*e somewhere. You ugly as ahh bxtch. you always try to copy me and act superior when clearly are a pest. stop being a larger too. sometime I hesitate not to think bad of you but you sure are a bxtch. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

dude like my tolerance has its own limits like wdym when i cannot text about schoolwork when it is obvi the group was meant to exchange school stuff and projects, beside we have other groups to text relevant stuff. tf you mean: "stop texting abt school work leave me alone* TF you can just turn off your notifications like YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUST TURN IT OFF LIKE what is wrong with you why you just have to frustrate the hell out of me and blame me like the one who is at fault in the conversation. like IM JUST REMINDING YOU GUYS to do the damn project cause I'M TRYING TO TRUST YOU GUYS WITH YOUR OWN responsibilities working in a group. like what the helly if you are uncomfortable just say that you are, AND BESIDES, IM NOT TELLING U TO DO, I LITERALLY ASK SB ELSE whether if they have their work done or not because i was just curious and i want to be updated. ???? like what the f is wrong with you??? dude grow tf up

I WANT FUCKING HELP I WANT ATTENTION I WANT SOMEONE TO NOTICE I'M FUCKING LOSING MY SHIT PLEASE SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME I'M SO ANGRY AND TIRED AND PISSED AND UPSET PLEASE PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE I HAVE LITERALLY NO ONE PLEASE SOMEONE HELP FUCKING HELP ME I WANT TO HANG MYSELF SO SO BAD PLEASE HELP HELP I DON'T WANT TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE FUCKING HELP

i feel like i have to be perfect all the time. if i get to loud im inconsiderate. When im tired im lazy. i feel so trapped

I don't know about my talent or skill, I never got taught as a child, I don't know what I want and I'm afraid of the future

am i selfish for having suicidal thoughts? people around me says its stupid n that theres more waiting for me in life, but i cant feel nothing yet also feel everything at the same time (?) idek if im worthy to breathe the same air as those achievers that actually have purpose in life...