All Rants

Wow..you are the prettiest shade of blue!….unfortunately they like pink. (This isn’t about colors.) open your eyes to see that you are adding to much color to yourself..you aren’t going to be their favorite color. Stop trying….they won’t love blue like how they pink.

cw: csam mentioned back in october my now ex was arrested. leaving me in his apartment unable to drive, no money, 2 hours away from home. in march he finally got his sentencing which made me realize how much he must have lied to me to end up with 20 years after supposedly only looking at cp once reached out to one of his exes and found out she has the same name as his little sister who's not even in middle school yet. and that ex wanted to name their daughter the same thing as me. which just makes me feel disgusting, like he purposely found me, someone with that same name.

I HATE EVERYONE SO BADLY I HOPE THEY ALL DIE

its hard to talk abt my feelings cuz i dont think they matter. i have this idea in my head that no one will care about me or what i do or what i say. so when i think about talking abt my feelings, i stop because i dont want to put that burden on anyone and i dont always feel the same. one day im great, then next im depressed like whatt??? plus i dont trust ANYONE. i dont tell people anything besides the brief stuff. i dont even tell people who i like.

Henrietta, you nasty bitch, you are finally getting the evil returned to you that you’ve dished out. That poor kid, your sister’s grandkid, suffering a miserable cancer death because of the karma that’s turned its wrath on you. May you suffer in your remaining years for the misery you wrought on this world.

I am mentally stable enough? I think idk I would never do anything to hurt a woman when I freak out and get angry at other people I always have intense shame for how I acted

My anxiety and depression is legit diagnosed I don’t want to guilt trip people my ocd autism shit isn’t diagnosed he said to look into it.

im having another mental breakdown lmao i want to dieeeeeeee my sister always kicks punches bites me blames it all on her 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗻𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 "ocd and anxiety" (she has no clue what ocd is btw js heard the fancy word and thought "ooh a new cool excuse to blame all of my bad behaviour on" bc i have diagnosed audhd and knows i get certain accommodations for it that she gets jealous of so she now is trying to find and self diagnose herself w a "cool new label" too) and she said the other day she's going to shoot me <3 (10 yr old btw w severe attitude problems when she doesn't get her way - which was abt not wanting to tidy away her mess so she could continue watching brainrot yt shorts) shes also bluffing abt "youre gonna make me cut myself and kill myself" as a way of guilt tripping (she never had even thought of the two and honestly has 0 intentions to do either until i mentioned it multiple times a few weeks ago - i have severe suicidal thoughts and depression btw) help me

Others say they just turned to adult age yet don't feel like an adult, but for me I felt like I grew too fast. I will not say my age but I've seen and experienced more than people my age should be exposed too. I'm too young to feel like a burden and wanting to disappear. I kept saying I want to move away for this job or something to make me happy and explore the world but maybe I want to move away so people can forget me and it won't hurt as much when they do. I won't say much more than that.

So my roomate and i are close childhood friends, as our mothers before us. And i always tought that was always sweet, i did highschool in another town and we used to talk on the phone for hours. Then i went to uni to the same town and a year later she followed and went to uni in the same town. And there was no reason for us not to stay together. And it s been almost 3 years since we lived together in this town. At first i tought it will be weird for her since i have friends in this town and she dosen t. I introduced her to my friends as not to let her be alone, but my worried weren t founded as she did well for herself. Now we weren t the bff type, but we are close, i have a bff and she has one, and also she have a bf. But i feel like she has become even more colder as years go by. And i don t want to be always with her i just miss my friend. Do i need to also mention that she didn t tell me she got a bf, i have to find out later from my ex highschool colegues?

My mom bought a new house and i don’t want to go. My mom is a bit of a narcissist and she wants me to move there to do provided care for her mother who is old with dementia and she doesn’t care about what I want. I’m in my mid 20s and have been struggling to find a job. I don’t want to go with any of them and would rather have my own place but I don’t have a job to be able to. My mom only cares about who’s gonna help her and take care of our grandma. Not only that she enables my brother who’s in his 30s and lets him get what he wants and he doesn’t have a job but I’d have to share a room. I’d rather sleep in my car. My sister is not someone I can be around long term and that’s who I’d share a room with. She has mental illness and always looking to start a fight.

so yeahhh here I am again with my arfid. It’s an eating disorder non related to body image, kinda extreme picky eating? anyway I feel bad when I go to eat with my friends or family and everyone’s eating except me because I can tell they might feel bad abt themselves, I heard online ppl hate when their friends do this so I was just looking from another perspective like damn they might js feel big, dw I love food but only if it’s certain things yk? idk it feels weird when that happens so I try to avoid it all together

I'm fairly frustrated. Ok every friggin where I go people ALWAYS cause me trouble. If it's not one thing it's another. And no I'm not the problem I don't bother anybody. Why do people have to be so awful where I live? I literally saw a post last night someone wanting compassion for being in a hit and run. They were cold and callous to them and accused them of only wanting to air and vent drama. Keyboard warriors basically. They cussed them out and said it's people like you why I'm moving out of the area. And to me it's COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE. why do people gotta be so shitty cold hearted and callous. Things can go wrong in your own life too you know.

what age do ppl become su1c1d@l. i was at 13. anyone else?

TW: SWEARING Ok. I feel like a fucking whore. Yesterday I was a t a party and these 2 dudes were hitting on me all night, and I was playing into it sitting on their laps and shit. I Identify as a FUCKING LESBIAN, but I liked it. And I can't tell if I'm a whore, touch starved, attention seeker, or berrisexual (someone who has a strong preference towards girls/nonbianary ppl) or all of them. I got one of the dudes numbers bc he's like rlly chill but I genuinely can't text him bc I would be so awkward and he's phone is broken wtf do I do???

I don’t want to be a burden but , at summer break school , I don’t have much friends in general but like there’s a group of friends that I sometimes hang around with at lunch break , they call me to get with them, but I have noticed that whenever I come around the air becomes intense, like I’d see them chatting and stuff but when I come they become very silent, like they don’t want me to hear anything, so most of the times the silence gets very awkward and uncomfortable, I think it’s because of me but like they ask me to come around, so whenever it’s silence I either grab a textbook and act like I’m studying so they can chat or I try to make conversation which is hard for me…

Ok so for the past couple years I've identified as lesbian (a non man who likes non men) and yesterday I was at my friend's birthday party and these too guys were hitting on me the whole night (they knew I was a lesbian btw) and I kinda enjoyed it, I've also been thinking im berrisexual for a while now (someone who has a strong preference for girls or nonbianry ppl) but I'm scared to come out Also kinda unrelated I think i might be into this girl we will call k and I've liked k before and we've dated 2 times and im scared to ask her out bc i broke it off both times and I dont want to be a bitch. If anyone could give me advice it would be rlly appreciated ty for reading =]

When I try to put my feelings into words, but mid writing the feelings kinda just go away so I just delete everything and feel like a fool😄

I hate feeling like this but there's some people that just rub you like sand paper. I hate that fam don't want to listen to how I feel because we have the most obnoxious shitty acting neighbors in town. I noticed them gawking inside of our vehicle. It's like this if you've got something to say , SAY IT OR STFU. their the the entitled type that are a bunch of chicken shits yet at the same time are the salty entitled karen let me speak to your manger type. I hate feeling this way I whole heartedly do. They're plain just a bunch of entitled babyfied chicken shit snitching cunts. I'm all for getting along with people and living in peace I truly am. These people breed like roaches and act like fucking obnoxious pigs. They put me through hell with their noise so excuse tf out of me if I'm sick of it dirty fucking cunts. Their company is also too lazy to park in visitor parking. Yet ME AS A TENANT HAS HAD TO PARK THERE BEFORE. MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE. I hope they all get whats coming to them.

Everybody’s leaving, everybody’s dying, I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared