All Rants

i feel weak 7 24 physically and i cant concentrate on anything and idk what to do w exams idk what else to say

I have this MAJOR crush on a friend of mine. And it’s awful because I know her ex was the devil incarnate, and she probably wont want to date again after him. But she’s so sickeningly sweet! She started calling me a petname. And she keeps sending me ship edits of characters and saying it’s “us”, so much so we’re matching in 2 servers. She’s so sweet to me, and, it makes it so hard to just be friends with her. And to add, i asked a mutual friend and she said to just set more boundaries but… i’m a selfish evil person or something. I don’t want her to stop calling me pet names or saying I love you.. she treats me so…. Gently. Idk. I like how sweet she is to me, the petname she calls me. I yearn for her and i’m so happy with it

When a person only talks about the fucking sex life like what are u doing starting in some pawn show where u just fuck none stop, I mean like every chance them get, like what the actual.

So I have a perfectly good life I mean money food no homeless and refuge shit going on and yet my life it still shit I mean really crappy like my grandma had her knee replaced and a pacemaker put in and now she has stage 3 breast cancer and it destroyed my mum like break down crying and my dad was in court because of his ex shitty work place so both my parents were a reck. I process stuff different to them though like keep it inside and don't tell anyone and act like everything's fine accept it wasn't and I was getting massive knots in my stomach because of it so I was coming home from school feeling like I was going to puke and when I got home it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and this happen for about two weeks before it pissed my dad off so much he grounded me and cut off cash and subscription not anything necessary but enough to piss me off and make my life harder and then I ran away for two hours to proses and it got me in twice as much trouble I mean like wtf.

that feeling when after years of failed relationships over and over you find someone literally perfect but your brain sees perfect as literally dangerous bc well trauma response...and your brain thinks perfect means secretly a murderer but deep down id catch a bullet for him, and live for him which means a lot considering the past months all i had in brain was death,death,death, before him ofc..now its better, somehow.

I have trauma from sexual abuse and currently in a relationship with my now boyfriend. I'm not a touchy/feely person in the first place and my boyfriend is the total opposite. First thing he does in the morning if we sleep together is roll over and cuddle me. I've talked to him about how I can't handle that first thing in the morning and he respects this. However, this evening he said something was on his mind where long story short, he felt I only saw him as a friendship. I was devastated by this to which I started to cry. What he said hurt of course but what hurt more was that I love how I know how to and without overstepping my own boundaries but apparently this was interpreted as not loving him. Absolutely pained by it but it was how he felt and I need to respect that. I fear that I'll never be interpreted as loveable; ever. Especially because of my past trauma where love needed to be earned and wasn't just given.

I sent my boyfriend out for crusli, he comes back with musli. It's a small thing, but it's a mountain of small things. It's the "Why do I have to make sure everything is done correctly?" mountain. It's like I have to ask myself how to make this task idiotproof. Here's a shopping list, with pictures! Don't carry 3 things at the same time, you'l.. and you broke that. Time to get out of bed if we're going to be on time! I feel like his mother sometime. Well, off to cook and clean! Fml

Why do I always forget that I cannot trust my husband at all when it comes to work things? If I have any hope of keeping the peace, and keeping the career I like and love, I should just shut up and not let him in. I need to give up hope in finding peace with him. He should just keep his own peace, and I keep mine.

Oh, it's fine when the disrespect is consistent, but my reaction to it isn't? No way.

I hope we can just be friends, because I'm not really into you.

I absolutely hate it when my husband sees my work chats. I am not doing anything wrong. But I know and hate the fact that he's seen it, and now something bad is brewing in his brain right now. I absolutely loathe that he has seen something that he can give his rotten interpretation to. I just hate to be perceived by him. Why can't he just leave me the fuck alone

It's the level of disrespect for me that the useless witches at work make me lose my senses for this one today. I literally hate my place of employment (9-5) it is completely TOXIC and I want to pursue all the other endeavors that I have been working on and paid for courses to learn and get into. I have to stop being scared to move forward.

okay let's start off with the fact that my parents are transphobic I am demisexual which means I don't care what gender you are as long as I have a strong emotional bond with you, I am attracted to you. the thing is I'm afraid of telling them. it also does not help that my mother barely looks or talks to me anymore. i honestly don't remember the last time she said 'I'm proud of you' she also constantly compares me to my stepsister with whom i do not consider family along with the rest of my mom's boyfriends' family. my mom also body shames me because when i was around 10 or 11 me and her were sitting on the porch when she said, "your armpit hair is longer that my pussy hair" WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT TO A CHILD and at the time she never taught me how to shave until 3 years later...

Today I literally had a melt down at work while in a meeting. I have endured a lot over the years there and the final straw for this week was actually the fact that people think they can say what they want to say, be smart mouthed under their breath and then try to point the finger at something I then therefore supposedly didn't do or did do in reaction to their BS making me out to the a bad person. I am not the type of person that goes running to the manager for every little thing, but it is clearly looking as though that is what I need to do. Mind you I simply go ghost silent on you to avoid altercations that are twirling around in my headfirst off. But that somehow turns into they are the victim in this scenario. People are so full of shit and cannot just stop starring stuff and popping off at the mouth and being intitled because of their title or want to be in charge and tell people what to do or just plain out be racist undercover. Can we all just to they damn job at hand an MYB!

My boyfriend and I have been trying for a baby. Our mutual friend just had a baby. They named their baby the same name as my sister, and similar middle name to me. I just felt a slap in the face and my friends think I’m overreacting.

J Cole has announced that he is coming to my country and he hasn't been here since 2016. Its been exactly 10 years since he came. I spoke to my cousin and asked her if she's came to going she said yes of course. I LOVE J COLE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND. And when i first asked my mom she was game then all of a sudden, she changed her minded then i didn't speak to her cause SHE WENT TO LIL WAYNES CONCERT BUT I CAN'T GO TO J COLE she's such a hypocrite.

So basically my sister and I stay at her house, I love it and she loves it, it’s an us thing, I do have adhd, autism and stuff and rsd where it makes me feel very angry when she changes the plans to visit her house, it’s an us thing where we stay and chill and have fun. Suddenly tonight she changes the plans and I flip out, I feel bad obviously but it just hurts me that she just would change plans and now she’s calling me selfish… what do I do

I'm super tired of the work atmosphere. Makes me depressed too...

I feel like a burden to my parents. They keep working to earn money and here I am spending it on school and I also have prom in March but I'm not going and I don't want to tell them as hello we are in a financial situation. On top of that I keep worrying on how I can help them huhuhu -_-

It frustrates me that most other women are having babies but I'm not