All Rants

Well, First off. Work is frustrating. If you ever work for a company that has blind spots in its policies. Question the hell out of them. I just don't get it. My Job is built on Economics to the extreme, where it is blind. No one is going to know its blind spots. Very Smart though because it makes you use your brain, but... WTF..... It is kind of scary. This company is a huge company, and they have guidelines where they are not responsible or held accountable for anything that is pretty scary. If you know, then you know what business I am talking about. I am sorry. This could possibly be a couple of big corporations that are made like this. It's crazy out there. Business owners are getting smarter. Do we want this for our future? Where corruption and manipulation can easily be done!!!

I'm feeling insane today, the morning was great, the evening was hell. I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, ADHD and OCD all my life, now that I have hormonal issues it's even worse. I'm really scared about an OCD flare up. I'm not feeling like myself anymore.

My friend is about to be kicked out of the room he's renting. He doesn't have a job, he has a dog that his friend left him. I offered a room in a 3 room apartment where I'm renting of the rooms. He agreed, said he's 100% sure he wants it. Didn't respond to my messages for a week or two, I got worried. I spammed messages to him today and he finally responded, he says he feels like shit and not like himself at all, he's mentally in a bad place and trying to get money, and the room that I offered him is his only option or he's gonna live in the streets. I need to give my landlord an answer tomorrow if he's taking the room or not. He did bail on me about 2 months ago when a different room was empty. I'm scared he's gonna do it again, and the landlord wants to get a complete stranger into the free room. When that happened before, the guy turned out to be a 50 year old creep. Since then, I'm finding roommates myself. Hope he's not gonna bail this time, but I'm scared sh*tless

i know just how terrible the idea of attempting murder against myself is. The problem is the thoughts come and never leave. Even if they go for a while, they do not leave. They'll come back after circling for a while. i hate myself every day more and more, and i hate that i do. All of this mixed with my beliefs just make me feel so awful... How can i feel like this believing in what i believe...? But i really have no control over these thoughts and feelings... i have no idea of what to do... Just want them to stop for damn once. i know writing this won't help on anything; no one will reach out, nothing will change. It's an anonymous platform, after all. i just feel like i'm going to explode sometimes. It's so much i want to bang my head against something, anything, to shut this thing up finally. i am sorry i had to become like this. i don't know what made me become this. i just hold onto that small hope that i will get out. If not today, another day.

i think im js gonna kill myself

Hey Mattias, the 30 year old from Spain who I chatted with last night. I was really hoping you'd message me on IG. Idk, something about you said that you think "this is it," it's destiny of ours, kinda stuck with me. And that you couldn't get me out of my mind, I couldn't get you out of mine either. I know, it's pretty much wishful thinking too, but it's weird how I've been thinking about you almost the whole day. That you might message me at 2PM when you wake up, or at 12am when your day wraps up, or maybe later at 2-3am during the time I met you first. Oh, well. I guess the universe really is telling me to remain single for now. Or maybe I'm just trying to force a connection because you said there is for you.

Idk what to do, I think my BF is uncomfortable with something I'm doing but he's terrible at communicating and I feel like I'm accidentally pushing him away because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I just want him to be comfortable with me, I love him a lot :(

I feel more like an animal then a human, not like a therain way, like I'm not human at all. A part of me feels like that's a good thing, humans are horrible cruel things. But the other part makes me think, maybe I'm the cruel thing that doesn't deserve to live. Maybe this is why my parents never cared for me fr, bout to end it

Why won't he make a move? I know that he likes me too...

my biggest fear is that im never going to be good enough. for my parents for my friends and for myself

my parents have said so many times on how I dissappoint them but they have never said that they were proud of me.

I want to cry so badly and feel but it just won't happen. I just feel sadness inside me everyday and just finally want to show my true feelings but I can't, I just feel so numb

im so lazy to study and if i dont lock in i will lose my scholarship and fail year.Im in uni, no one in my family went to uni, my mom didnt even finish high school. She was lucky she found my father, he was great man, then he offed himself leaving my mom all alone with two kids. We were so poor but i never felt poor bc my mom would do anything for me. I also was very sick when i was kid and caused her much trouble, and i can't even repay her to study. Like uni is expensive we all know that. Idk whats wrong with me i love my mom sm but my laziness is bigger then my love for her.

I feel so depressed recently, I just hate my life so much. I've already written down how to su1c1d3 and who I should say goodbye to if such people would even care. I can even properly take care of myself well enough. My own mother doesn't even care, and ive been choking with my throat, and my father says its just normal Im loosing my friends all of them slowly departing I have thought of running away multiple times before but they wouldnt work because the police would just find me I just want to disappear forever apparently my mother guilt trips me when I try to go to my dads place on her week because I can be more alone then hes never home until 8 o clock at night so it would be a great time to be alone and for people to forget about me i cant do this anymore..

I actually can't do this shit anymore I need to kill myself. And I almost did 4 times already but apparently I'm too much of a pussy

Im sorry. I just want to be okay. Im sorry i reported him. I just want my family back. i just want to be normal.

Im behind in school. The sophmore slump is kicking my ass. My rapist came over today. My moms still with him. My grandmother hates me. I feel his hands every moment of everyday. I'm so lonley im venting to strangers on the internet. fuck my life.

i CANNOT stand hearing someone chew or smack or slurp or breath. absolutely no reason for anyone to be that loud while do any of those things. none. i shouldnt be across the room and be able to hear any of that. i could just rip someones head right off their shoulders. i remember chewing loud when i was a kid just to piss my mom off but goddamn if i was her i would have smacked the ever lovin shit out of me. fuck all that. i got family now thatll chew on their own lips and i will dead ass look them in the eye and be like fucking stop it if youre hungry i have food. a girl at work eats nuts during lunch like every damn day and i can here every nut being broken into every little fucking piece from across the damn room. ridiculous. just so ridiculous. just want to smack the damn things off the table into the wall.

Been dealing with my spouses depression for years. I love them but i’m running out of compassion for it. I’m exhausted. I always have to put my feelings in the background. They don’t do anything to get better but then complain bb about having no help. They make steps but it isn’t instant and they stop. I feel like an unpaid therapist who can’t clock out. I can’t even tell them or set boundary about it because then they’ll clam up and say they have no one to talk to or who understands them. But I’m exhausted and running to the point where I just don’t even care any more. It’s like I have to deal with the radio station playing their depression and I have to sit in the misery with her. I want to just scream to shut up but then that would ruin our trust

I have to leave my career for health reasons. I do as manual labor job but it’s destroying my body. I don’t have a degree and I feel hopeless trying to get any sort of job that doesn’t make it worse. I want to get a job in my dream career but it’s very competitive and I don’t feel good enough for it