All Rants

ye pehla banda hai jisne mujhe badsurat bana ke rakh liya

Forever miserable and hopeless. When will this end?

I’m so done with everything. I keep remembering my stepdad touching my thighs and my butt, my parents arguing everyday about everything, school, and I’m so done, I’m about to cry but I wanna commit but I can’t. I’m scared of dying, I can’t be a dead bff, friend, daughter, crush, I’m staying strong for him rn. And if I get another bad thing happening, I’m telling everyone goodbye.

maybe one day... i will finally do it.

Summer depression was real but now I'm starting to remember how much worse school is...

I thought I recovered from my ED lol.. I guess you can never truly recover :/

I work in food service/customer service. Some old man called me baby today. It’s was disgusting

My friend (We were SUPER good friends) is ghosting me cause I confessed to him. So I need advice, did I come off too strong? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?! I waited until I was sure we wouldn't see each other anymore so I could confess because I understand how awkward it can get. And I am completely open to still being friends because I value our friendship more than "I lOvE yOu ToO mUcH tO sEe YoU aNyMore". So basically one day I just went for it and told him, it has been 4 weeks since then... I didn't say anything after I because maybe he needed time or something and I didn't wanna be pushy but now he is just straight-up ignoring me, like if you don't like me back it's okay like actually! Just please tell me! I don't wanna be the reason as to why we are weird with each other now. I already feel so selfish for telling you... At least respond. Anything. Say anything. Because it would be way better than this...

Just got daggers from ren faire 🔥 Now I can kms with a knife that has little hearts on the handle 🫶✨🖤

I have no idea why in every friend group I’m always the forgotten one. I don’t why people always be telling me that I’m so nice and so loyal. Then please tell me why I’m so lonely please tell me why I’m at night staring at my empty phone. Please tell me what’s wrong with me. I’m so tired of being alone.

This is gonna sound stupid as hell but no matter what i do i just cant be happy even when im supposed to. Even when im with my favorite person im not happy i wish i knew why

I'm technically under weight on the BMI chart for my height but I still feel so fat sometimes

Basically school starts soon and I can't fucking do it. I can't go through that shit show again. Its so insanely exhausting and makes my mental problems worse. The halls are gonna be so fucking loud. My friend group is probably gonna leave me. I'm so scared that i don't even know how to put it into words. Ughhhghtjsbeueksbdjsj. Nothings ok. Nothing at all. I actually fucking can't everything's gonna be so loud and its gonna make my brain loud and I won't be able to turn it downnnnn. I don't know what to do. I'm always scared or nervous and its starting to get out of handddd. I don't want to tell anyone though. I can't have people worried about me I'm fine I'm FUCKING FINE

sitting here acting like i didnt js go to the bathrrom to cry and cut myself yay luv school but its gonna be okish ig cus we doin gymnastics in sport so im not gonna be a fat lazy unathletic stereotypical uncoordinated judged asian-f.g

104 lb at 5'2 and I feel so fat and bloated :/ I'm not eating for 3 days atp

I cant stop cutting myself .I have to have that feeling. That peaceful feeling . like Im finally free . I want to die .

Maybe I should just delete TikTok and just kill myself. I saw a video of a person of color cosplaying a Japanese anime character and most of the comments were being racist and adding slurs to that characters name. Then I finally scroll away from that post and it’s a white person cosplaying a different Japanese character and the first comment I see is that they’re the “biblically accurate” version of the character. I just felt so frustrated. I want both cosplayers to receive the same support and kindness but I know I will never live to see a world like that. It’s genuinely so upsetting not being able to avoid seeing and receiving racist comments. It feels impossible to enjoy anything. I wish people of color received the same acceptance that others do for cosplay. It just feels so unfair. There is no fandom, or hobby, or anything in the world that can be enjoyed without dealing with this same situation over and over again. I’m sick of seeing it and being the victim of it. It hurts.

I really hate being angry. My day was just fine. Or it was. UntiI this. I had dozed back off for awhile this morning since rain was moving in. It was fairly peaceful. Next thing I know it sounds like someone above me is taking a chainsaw sawing my ceiling in half creaking my ceiling. It flew all over me because there was no need for anybody on this earth to be that loud above me. Why they did that I have no idea. It's the karen bitchs and her fam. If that's not bad enough ,fam is really irritable it's hard to talk to them and they want me to do this that and the other. It's like I can hardly have a good night let alone a good day anymore. Wtf is their problems anyway. Smh. They're some of the shittiest people I've ever encountered as so called neighbors. Tbh I think they escaped from a zoo somewhere. I pity the Karen's coworkers that have to put it with working with them. Hell , zoo animals have more sense and maturity than they do. Why is it so hard for people to act decent anymor

Okay, so I don't know what to think. To catch you up, reader: My mom has kicked me out twice this year over me telling her she can't talk about me inappropriately and demean my character. This last time she got very violent. This last time I have not come back and I have cut contact on all outlets. she does still have my gmail though and I blocked her on there, so everything from her sits in my spam. After venting about my thoughts, thinking about what's happened thus far, etc, I thought I'd see if she's tried to talk to me, and she has?? but they aren't mean messages??? But she was nice to me the first time after she kicked me out too so I don't trust her. And she sent them to me less than 2 weeks after she tried to get my dad to have his lawyer claim I was deranged and needed to be hospitalized (I dont even know anymore.). But it feels so nice yet so bitter to read that she loves me, that she wishes me a good day every single time, that she calls me by my nickname, and thinks of me.

can't go one day without it cant even get help I'm so fucking disgusting tomorrow is going to be hell