All Rants

it feels like im excluded from something everyone else has, no matter what i do im too much or not enough or just simply weird? i dont understand. its so confusing because people that are “worse” than me are more loved and cherished rather rhan me i try my best im a decent person so what the hell is wrong with me ? im already disgusting with horrible coping mechanisms because nobody will fucking help me, they say they will but they dont when i actually go to them they just say theyre here for me when they arent and i hate lying shits i hate it so much i hate how theres a label on me that says oh you can hate them ! simply because they feel off compared to others i hate it so much

i hate how quickly i start spiraling whenever i've disappointed someone. i'm 25 and still haven't officially graduated high school. need to finish ONE course and i'm free. i've applied for this course AT LEAST 4 times. i'm tired. both of myself and everyone else who's trying to be ""helpful"" but usually just makes me feel x10 more miserable, like i'm CHOOSING to stay where i am, like i LIKE essentially being a high school dropout who's working a fulltime below minimum wage job. i'm so so so fucking tired of everything and everyone all the time.

Overwhelmed, feeling alone, feeling sad, broken and unwanted in a world that’s far too big for me. I value deep connection but I haven’t had the best of luck finding a quality friend. I just want to feel like I matter, that I belong, somewhere.

I'm so overwhelmed, last mocks of year 10 coming up that my scores that I get will go to my future college, I can't revise without my mind being blown, My mom's gone on holiday for about 1-2 months so my dad's been making me clean the whole house, do everything, blame me for stuff I didn't do. It gets on my nerves. I'm already doing so bad on tests and I'm worried for my actual exams and stressed out that I'm starting to get pimples again even though I literally went a year without having them. Tomorrow we are going to my cousins house to celebrate our second Eid I am so excited to see after so long because I missed her. My dad was on the phone to my aunt to discuss about my other cousin coming then he revealed something to her that just ruined my mood. For the 5th time he's re married to someone else whilst still married to my mom. He's using the Qu'ran as an excuse saying no one else knows etc. it's getting on my nerves and I feel bad for my mom plus I barely get to see my cousins.

I recently moved out from my toxic mother and her manchild boyfriend and idk how to deal with it. Somehow it feels like nothing has changed but things are definitely different because I have a lot more freedom of peace. It's just settling in how little support I had gotten the last few years because of how litte changed but also how suffocating it was. And now it's all over and it doesn't feel real but it feels like she's still on my shoulder all the time? And now that it's "over" it feels like nothing ever happened. I have nothing to show for all the years of abuse I went through, she never got punished for it or even realised what she did was wrong. I don't know what to do, how to feel. I just want to curl up and cry but also not do that to spite her and show her I don't need her. I don't need her but I'd still like to a mum? But she isn't that person for me. Idk how to live like this and my friend warned me about this and told me to push through and keep going. Idk what to do

My dad used to abused me and my mom. Things are better now, me and my mom ran away and live our own lives now. But I still flinched at noises or get scared when someone start yelling at someone or just talking loudly. I don’t know how to tell my mom, or tell anyone. I just want to leave it here, at least knowing someone who know my situation

I applied almost 5 schools and out of that there is one school that I only passed, and that one school also is a local public college from our municipality. Because as a girly who aim for independence, freedom and especially to seek opportunity to find a job to support my needs financially, four schools that I applied was far from our home, it's all on manila, that's why that so exact for me to aim what I am wanting for.

I go to sleep alone and wake up alone, I miss them so much that it doesn't feel like the pain will stop. I thought we would last forever because I wanted to last forever. I crave physical intimacy more than anything else right now and its never felt more out of reach. I worry for my future and its hard not to regret my past.

uhm, right, well, im not too sure what to say, its been hard ig, ive been feeling like crap, ive been feeling like crap for most of my life... I think it started in primary school, my sister was always THE person, you know? Like everyone knew her or knew about her, and ig it started getting to me, it felt like I was constantly in her shadow... She is awesome tho, she always stood up for me so its not her fault at all. She is smart, got good grades and studies something really cool. And I... well I barely passed school and studied at an art college... So its fair to say that im a disappointmen. Im also a believer of Christ and try to live for Jesus everyday, but I constantly fail, I fall back into sin often, and that keeps on taking me back to when I was a failur, maby I still am? Im just sick of feeling like I shouldn't be here anymore, even my younger brother is smarter, better looking, bigger and cooler than me.... yeah idk, I''m just tired ig, tired of living like... me I guess.....

Sometimes I feel like the annoying, dumb, designated ugly fat friend, when compared to my friends who are thin, pretty/handsome, smart. In addition I did try telling them both that, but i don't think they care much, but it could be just me over thinking. The worst part was whenever one had a sort of phase where she kept saying she looked fat while eating or just infront of me, I tried talking to them both about it but as I said before it felt like they couldn't care less, which in hindsight took a great toll on my mental health, so currently I just feel like a pig with lipstick everytime I try to make myself look prettier or something like that. However, all of this could just be me over thinking.

I just started a break with my bf because within the last 6 months I’ve been feeling uninterested in the relationship and putting it basically no effort. We’ve been together for 4 years so if I feel like I’m throwing away a huge part of my life, but I don’t want to be unhappy. I’m worried that going as far as breaking up is a mistake because he’s truly a good bf and I don’t want to give that up. To be more detailed, I literally find myself feeling like it’s a chore to even text him back, and when I get a text a small part of me hopes it’s not him. I don’t even know how long this break is gonna be for but I just want someone’s opinion on my situation.

I feel so alone, I feel like no one will understand or even try to check up on me. I try to comfort everyone and try to make sure everyone is okay but no one seems to ask ME if I’m ok. I feel like I’m never enough for people. I feel like I’m nothing without my school achievements. I feel like no one would even care if I tried to kill my self tonight. They would try for a week then forget about me. I miss when I didn’t feel like I have to impress and care and worry for everyone else because it feels like I’m alone and have no one. I have friends but I’m too afraid to ask for help. No matter how try I want to open up I just can’t. I have a fear someone will use my struggles against me still. I feel alone. I feel like I have no one. I feel like no one ACTUALLY likes me. I feel like they like the attention I give them. Why do I feel like this every day.

Why do you act like you're a staple of the community when you're some of shittiest neighbors in town? sooner or later the way you act and are towards us will come back on you. I don't understand why it doesn't bother the rest of my family. Because they're shit on us nearly getting us evicted. Pushed snow against our vehicle on top of blowing up confetti on our walk. Does that sound like an "ideal" neighbor to you? All fam will say is "we need a place to live" instead of doing anything about their shit behavior. Yeah we need a place to live, but that doesn't mean we have to lay down and take their bullshit karen treatment either. They really piss me off. I've never done anything to these people is what gets me as well. But they all act on social media " im so sorry prayers for you" etc etc. What about the people you tried to get kicked out offline?! Oh no of course wouldn't do anything to tarnish that halo you got to show off all over social media to others. I hope you get what udeserve

I want to kms because of my sister's condition and how it affects my family. Ever since a young age I had to live with constant fights arguments screams blood and tension because of my sisters bipolar disorder and depression bipolar and I always had to set aside my childhood for her needs and comfort. I experienced her trying to attempt many times since I was a toddler, some that my brain has blocked out and some that are vividly in the back of my mind eating away at what's left my reason to live. This year alone it's been 3 times that she has sh or attempted. twice c*t and once tried to jump off 2 story house. Those times that it happened are still there to me and I still get nervous when she's cooking or near the balcony. Thankfully much of her stress has left like school and projects and deadlines but her anger and irritation hasnt left in years. Every happy moment turns sour because I start to think about that day and how it could've been me and nobody would've batted an eye. done

I was SA'ed by my uncle....i really wanna myself....

I want to be fucked in all my orifices

so bascially this guy I knew in real life would text me like 24/7 for weeks on end and then he claimed he was being 'love bombed' cause apparently one ' I miss you reel' was the line whereas he was sending md reels like 'imagine if I did something dumb and you get to say I'm your boyfriend' liks honestly if anything I was the one being love bombed. He even said he was going to make a promise ring for me by hand and stuff and then two days after sending me that reel mentioned above he says we would be better off as friends and that he meant most of what he said at the time. What could I have possibly done in two days that gave him the ick. He even changed my nickname to sweetie idk I just feel really manipulated.

Terrorism included within the same market as patriotism, just another mask that the one before claims to be against. It works at a variety of different Eastern and Western ends just as between vanilla and strawberry ice cream of different tastes in a torture parlour.

Every time I talk, someone becomes bored or annoyed. I'm bothering others just by breathing and taking up their space. I'm never liked, nor represented as having a clear sense of self outside of parodies and stereotypes. I live just to be made fun of as a glue, as a theatre outing you might take your friends to visit- that kind of a social disaster. I don't want to kill myself for other people, but I can't stop living for them. I know that makes me weak, and the spiral continues of trying to reach some perspective that no one around me has reached before, while I'm actually dumb enough to be radicalized by other parts of the status quo oppressing people like me (yay, capitalism).

Hi I am really going through a heartbreak silently And I can't handle it I want to scream and cry and wish someone knew how much it hurts And my birthday is soon and I can't seem to let it go I can't sit a second without thinking or crying Help me