All Rants

I'm so mentally tired. I can't hold my head up anymore, I'm failing math, I have to help a friend with his mental but I feel like I'm doing a horrible job and he's saying I'm doing a great job but I feel like I'm not. He doesn't show that I help him so I can't even tell at all. (Online friend) I honestly feel like throwing up right now and I just can't really take it anymore honestly. I just feel like giving up already, I wish I didn't buy my braces and would just give my money to my mom if I end up doing it (I'm sorry if I broke the guidelines here).I can't even do it I just want to escape this pain this stress. I just feel like I'm on the edge of giving up but I'm never depressed I think? I'm not bedrotting or anything I'm always active and trying my best to smile around classmates and stuff. Idk I'm just probably overreacting. I just feel like breaking down but it's so tiring. I'm not sure if I'm going insane or anything I just feel so overwhelmed and confused.

I don't have anyone. I don't have a great relationship with either of my siblings or my parents. partially, I'd say it's my fault. I was a lot when I was younger, and I'm sure it scarred our relationship in some way, but I've decided not to dwell on that part too much. anyways, It's mostly because I'm very socially awkward, antisocial, and someone who "doesn't try hard to maintain relationships", as I've been told. I'm a dry texter. I'm picky about who I wanna be around. I'm the biggest asshole I know. but I so desperately need someone to the point it makes me sick. I don't want pity, because in my opinion, it can be forced, fake, and something said or done out of trying to be a good person. I think I just want someone who can listen, someone who genuinely understands me. I have no way to vent any of my feelings. I don't like pain. I don't like yelling. and I obviously can't speak to anyone. bye, reader. I hope you have the best day/night. I love you.

Telling someone to get a hobby isnt as helpful as you think, but it's more or less what I expect frankly. Let's hope you never have deeper issuse you can't just ignore.

I feel like I have nobody. I don’t feel, I know. My best friend, atleast the girl I call my best friend, just seems..not real. She probably talks to her boyfriend about me constantly. Like how I talk too much, always want to hangout, and I’m so annoying. I wish I wasn’t. She just seems like she hates me. I hate myself for it. I wish I wasn’t feeling like this. Sure maybe she doesn’t actually feel like that, but like… idk.. nobody really likes me. Nobody. I have nobody. I have nobody in the whole wide world. If I died the people I know who aren’t my family would probably like.. pretend we were close and the bestest of friends just for attention. Nobody truly cares about me. Not even her, my own best friend. She doesn’t see me as a best friend, just a pushy person.

I'm only 17 and all my grandparents are dead. And im so lonely where I live cuz my momoved away from all my family. I miss all of them

Okay so my fucking suite mates are inconsiderate at fuck! They’re loud, obnoxious, and frankly sound like fucking hyenas people can hear throughout the hall. But I know the moment I say anything they’re going to make mine and my roommate’s lives hell because they’re petty, entitled fucks. They always have people over who are just as loud, leave their hair in the shower, and then have the audacity to get mad that we haven’t done the suite mate agreement? You shouldn’t be a fucking adult and need an agreement to know some basic human decency. Oh and they used my hairspray to clean the shared sink where one dyed her hair, if that stain doesn’t go away we all get fined and I’m not paying shit.

Omgomg im not rlly sad but im so confused and happy?! Im crying from joy but like im so confused! I like to make ppl happy and smile, I dunno i just like to make ppl feel better and there was this lil grandma in the bathroom with a pretty pink dress and necklace so I complimented her and she said “thank you! You are so sweet!” and now I’m crying and kicking my feet like some idiot just from those nice words like OMGOMG WHY WAS SHE SO NICE TO MEEE and idk why im crying i just feel so happy someone was so so nice! I never experienced that!! She was so nice and I hope her entire life is only goodness!

I have been thinking about an Undertale soul quiz I taken a few days ago. It has stuck with me for a while because the largest soul I gotten was Perseverance, the ability to bend and adapt but not break. It made a lot of sense but I will be very honest I don't know how to feel about it. I like it but have I really persevered? I've been spending so long wanting to die and I still...still do. I relapsed into SH on a university trip that should've been a time where I enjoyed myself and yet I find myself in such a horrible state. Is this perseverance? Feeling like I'm constantly on a time limit, my life slowly falling between my fingers like sand, is this truly what perseverance looks like? This doesn't feel like it at all, no it feels like the opposite. Everytime I attempted I never followed through. Yet I'm terrified of the day I'd give in. Is this perseverance? Is this truly what it is or am I just a lost cause. I have no clue anymore. I'm so tired

I really wish someone who hug me and tell me, im theirs and i can stop feeling like i need to run away. I just wanted to be someones sub. Wish i was just boring. Not really but sort of.

I lack the social skills to tell anyone how far deep I am :/

The orange in office doesn't respect women.

Every time I think about her, I start crying. I love her so much, she just likes me as a friend. I ruin everything. Can I just die. My mental health is slowly going bad

How do I accept and move on without forgiving? I don’t think I can forgive and forget but I do want to move on without my life yk? Any comments would be much appreciated

I can’t bring myself to do anything

ye pehla banda hai jisne mujhe badsurat bana ke rakh liya

Forever miserable and hopeless. When will this end?

I’m so done with everything. I keep remembering my stepdad touching my thighs and my butt, my parents arguing everyday about everything, school, and I’m so done, I’m about to cry but I wanna commit but I can’t. I’m scared of dying, I can’t be a dead bff, friend, daughter, crush, I’m staying strong for him rn. And if I get another bad thing happening, I’m telling everyone goodbye.

maybe one day... i will finally do it.

Summer depression was real but now I'm starting to remember how much worse school is...

I thought I recovered from my ED lol.. I guess you can never truly recover :/