All Rants

My mom has this stupid schedule thing for my day. I’m supposed to have breakfast before 12pm, lunch between 12-5, and a small snack before 8. I’m not allowed to eat after 8pm. I missed my breakfast time, so now I can’t rlly eat until later because then I’ll be hungry too late in the day. Like I can’t already have lunch it’s too early imo. But I’m so hungry. I basically have to wait like 2-3 hours. Plus she just yelled at me because I took too long to give her my laundry bc she wanted to do the laundry and she hates waiting. Ig I’ll just have gum or something. Maybe cutting myself will make me forget how hungry I am

So for the past 3 weeks I’ve been worried I’d touch a persons groin or butt area whether that’s at home in school or outside in public and it’s really bothering me like for example: I was at a grocery store the other night and some man was walking past me with a phone and a cart and a chip bag and I got worried right like automatically and twisted my body/butt in a way that could’ve brushed anyone but now I didn’t touch the cart so I felt fabric….what did I touch or brush against? I have like 35 other cases like this and they’re eating me up I feel like a horrible person hiding in plain sight

I don't want to be alive but I can't bring myself to die either

I don’t want it seem ungrate full but my family is always pissing me off telling me what to do, taking me out my comfort zone, forcing me to socialize when I finally get alone time and when I do have free time I do self harm I don’t know what either ways to stop myself it’s like an addiction

I just cry sometimes I hate myself so much I get so insecure over little things I just want someone who I trust to notice my self harm so I have someone to talk to I’ve spoken to my plushies.

I wish I could be back to my old self. Everything was good back then. I miss my old prime mentally when it had no stress, no family issues, not being controlled, like you know it.

Ouch My bf and I just broke up less than a week ago and I found out that he's dating someone else and that he's been in love with a girl for a long time

everything I used to love doing is becoming dull and I don’t know what to do.

Ugh. Have to make a phone call to get my medication because I'll run out before my next review. Rang up and turns out I have to give a blood pressure reading. Used the blood pressure machine, got the reading, googled it to see if it was normal and now the NHS website is telling me to call 111. I'm not making another bloody phone call, I expect it's a false reading anyway. Will try again for the fourth time in a mo because I think I'm doing it wrong. But if I give them the results I've got, I'm worried they'll stop my medication.

im so tired of myself im gonna end myself today.

I don't know if I'am doing the right thing. I know that I'm still young and have so much to experience in life buttttt I just don't know if tama ba yung path pinupuntahan ko.

This country supports and protects pedophiles. Not enough people care or are outraged. The people who are supposed to support and get justice for victims, victims shame. I know I was taken advantage of when I was younger. I could very easily be a victim. It's scary knowing that. It breaks my heart. Oh, and Alaska magically has no elder abuse. How am I supposed to fight for them when their state claims abuse to elders doesn't exist????

Everyday it's fuckin thumping from the neighbors like they're wearing bricks on their feet. That gets old. Tell me you're not mature any whatsoever without telling me smh.

I broke up with my boyfriend. I don’t want to talk to him. But he was the one who was listening my rants daily. Now my life feels like it is empty. I don’t know what to do when i am alone. I have work to do but i am not able to put up together to do the work. I dont have close friends who i can talk to everytime. They are all gone i mean i told i dont wanna talk to them because of some accusations they made on me. Do i have to change the way i am thinking? I don’t even know what to do…🥲

I have reached a point of no return,that is all I will say here for now (If you know you know)

Recently I’ve been feeling ill. The sides of my head, near the corners of my eyes feel warm and really hurt. My fingers keep turning purple, and whenever I stand I fall because I get dizzy and my vision gets fuzzy. Whenever I eat, my stomach feels like it’s burning and I keep throwing up and it burns my throat like acid. It hurts so much.  My head sometimes feels like it’s splitting open and I can almost feel like hot liquid is sloshing around in my brain. My eyes, near the corners, feel the same but it ranges to my eyes to near where my ears are. It really hurts and I haven’t seen a doctor bc I’m a minor and my dad says he won’t take me until it’s serious. Btw I already wrote parts of this but I forgot to mention a few things. If anyone knows what this could be, plz tell me so I can try to figure it all out.

Look man, life just sucks, it just hurts without reason. I just have a really hard time with life all because my family has been so detrimental to my development. I can't believe this. Sometimes i wish i would have grown up in a different family.

Recently I’ve been feeling ill. The sides of my head, near the corners of my eyes feel warm and really hurt. My fingers keep turning purple, and whenever I stand I fall because I get dizzy and my vision gets fuzzy. Whenever I eat, my stomach feels like it’s burning and I keep throwing up and it burns my throat like acid. It hurts so much.

No matter what I do, I always end up making people upset over something I did. My online friends, my mom, even my little sister. Whenever I make too many jokes or mention one of my characters too much during my friends and I's roleplay sessions, my friends get mad at me despite trying to be engaged in the story. Every time I fall behind on my chores, my mom gets mad because the dishes weren't loaded or I didn't let the dogs out in time despite mostly being on time on my chores. Whenever I put stuff the wrong way when unloading the dishwasher(since she was the one who was supposed to do them cuz she's taller than me) or in there during her kitchen time, I get yelled at by her despite always doing them when she needs to get her schoolwork done. It seems no matter what I do, no matter how many time I try to make them happy or be engaged, they're always upset about something because of something I did. Sometimes I wish I was gone so that I didn't feel like some inconvenience.

My dad fought in a war, he wasn’t there for me when I was a toddler, I just stayed with my mom. I didn’t know he existed or anything, but then when I was 5 or something, he randomly came back. Right after he hit my mom in the gut so hard she had to go to the hospital, then he threw our cat just into the street infront of us. He got a divorce and won our custody, then he got a restraining order against my mom so she couldn’t see us. I was made to leave my home country, then switch between 4 states in the US. All he talks about is gore. Brains smashing and his friends getting blown up infront him, that’s why he is messed up he says. That’s why he has all the right to make his kid be alone in the world, with nothing but him. An old man who just screams all the damn time, about how worthless his kid is, about blood, etc