All Rants

its crazy how a near death experience will change you. I've never been so happy to see colors, smell, hear nature, drink water ???!!!" Like literally anything I'm so grateful but at the same time a part of me is saying I don't want to be he here anymore. Probably because the pain is unbearable. My heart feels like its dropped 100000 meters into a pit, somedays I can laugh and communicate and I'm grateful I truly am and then some days I'm just NUMB. No words can form if they wanted to and i just shut down so hard I can't even fake a smile to comfort my mom so she knows I'm at least OK. I'm not.

I got into a horrible accident a week ago. My two friends were in the car and one of them didn't make it. If I'm being realistic.. there should've been no survivors based how freakish that crash was. We were going 120mph maybe , stupid . My friend Got to the turn and I realized wow this is it... I braced for impact and passed out. According to the report we hit a guardrail, went airborne over train tracks, and overturned in a ditch a very deep one with mud, thorns, all I saw was a light and just followed it idk how I got out , I managed to help my girl friend out of the car but I couldn't help my guy friend I was just screaming his name hoping he'd get up, in the hospital I was praying he'd be okay. He was goofy, soft , energetic, hardworking, compassionate, determined, welcoming, literally super funny, caring and sweet. Idk what even happened that night I wish this on nobody and all i can do is blame myself because if I went home like I should've maybe he would still be here. imy </3

i’m gay and i can’t come out or do anything about it bc of my religion my family and my society. i ended things with a guy last month and ive been in love with the same girl for three years. she has a boyfriend around a year ago and i cant stop crying every single night to how pathetic i am and how sorry my life is. all i want is to accept myself. i have internalized homophobia and i’ve been praying for it to leave so i can just be normal. i’ve tried to be normal but it’s so hard when my heart physically hurts when i see her with him. i can feel my chest tightening and my throat closing up. it took me so long to realize that i am what i am and i still hate myself for it. i know my mom will hate me too. everyone will hate me and i just want to move away and be on my own. i don’t want to talk to any of my friends or my family. but i can’t do any of this and it js physically pains me that i feel so trapped and alone and it got so bad to the point where im telling whoever’s reading this.

I hate my siblings. My older brother is not only autistic but a narcissist as well, so he can't be trusted with the family business. Then there's my younger sister who won't do shit unless forced, and even when she does, she doesn't even do things properly. And finally, my youngest brother, who is such a bundle of stress; the majority of our family have a healthy weight, yet only he is skinny despite having so many choices on what to eat; he has too much energy and doesn't listen to our words despite telling him repeatedly, he's a troublemaker at school and his education isn't improving at all. I have no idea how to deal with them without violence since I grew up getting disciplined with physicall pain-- and since my mother is now older and less strict, she doesn't do the same punishments to my younger siblings as she did with us older siblings, they're one of the reasons why i'm never having children or marrying.I hate my siblings.

i love dumb harmless trolling but tell me why i can no longer do that w/out people’s response being weird sexual bs 😭😭😭 i was playing a game & sent some goofy message like “this is now a silent game please be mindful of this thanks” and the amnt of unfunny “omg harder mommy uwu” msgs i got in response were so unimaginably unfunny i think i would have rather had a gun to my head

Fuck my fuckass bitch ass dad, I hope he rots, but I also love him so much, I love the idea of him and I miss his music tattoo knuckles. I miss his gap tooth smile, I miss his wide nose, I miss his laugh, i miss his laugh I miss his laugh I miss his laugh. Fuck I miss my dad but I hate my dad, I’ll never forgive him. I’ll never forget. He didn’t love me. But I love him. Oh I love him. I wish I could be small again. I wish he could carry me to the mall like he used to. I wish he didn’t fucking beat me. I wish he didn’t leave me. i wish he didn’t yell at me. I wish he stayed, but i used to wish he’d leave too. My thoughts aren’t polished but the only thing I can think is hatred and love and highs and lows an dfuckfuckfuck Fuck him. FUckfuckfuckfuckcfuckfuckfuckfcuckkfffukcjf

Everyday it’s “shut up” or “why are you being so quiet” so i don’t know what to do anymore. Everyday i hear shut up i cant shut my mouth i cant ever just be quiet. Im not trying to be loud im just happy or comfortable. i hear shut up from my friend a lot and when i try to tell them i dont like it they get mad my sister dose it too they both yell it too. im a tween and im very sensitive so anytime they slightly raise there voice or anyone raises there voice i always cry and it feels like im faking even tho i know im not it just dose like im faking it for attention. im just scared

I just want to take the time to encourage someone who really needs it. You’re beautiful, you have purpose, you’re stronger than you think and it will get better. Sometimes, when life is hard we can only see what’s in front of us, but always remember that seasons change and one day you’ll be healed, whole and happy. Keep working at it. You have the ability to change your future. Don’t let anyone dictate your value because self worth is an intrinsic value that cannot be measured. You’re born with the reality that you are worthy of love, kindness, forgiveness and acceptance and people who don’t care to show you those things are not worthy of you and that’s ok :) Keep fighting for a better tomorrow.

I’m working hard to walk into my purpose and be someone to be proud of. I’m really proud of the progress I’m making, it may seem like small wins but any win is worth it. I’m proud of me. I’m happy to appreciate this moment because everything else that has me worried I can atleast focus on this one good thing right now.

I’ve been working on being stronger, communicating effectively when something bothers me, and setting boundaries. I finally let my mother know a few days ago that I can no longer financially support her and our family because I have to prioritize my life. Sorry but I have to. I have made so many sacrifices for them and it’s time to choose me.

I’m the only vegan I know. I really wish there were other vegans nearby.

I'm so tired of everything, my meds work but I still constantly feel like I'm under pressure that I can't get rid of. Since I'm still a minor and because of my slipping grades I might not be able to get a work permit and idk what to do since I'm not allowed to just relax during this summer break. I think I might just run away atp and live out of a backpack and eat dumpster food. I already thought about selling most of my stuff so I can live okayish while homeless. One of my friends wants me to live with him but I don't want to be an annoyance on him as well. I just wish I wasn't a pain in the ass to everyone and I think the only way for me to not be a burden is to either disappear off the face of the earth in the eyes of the law or to be dead.

I seen a rant talking about boundaries and it’s so true. I have communicated effectively about my boundaries. If people aren’t willing to respect them, they aren’t worthy of a seat at my table. Sorry not sorry. We live in a day and age where the world lacks respect but you not about to disrespect me.

some people will seriously act like you having boundaries and communicating them is an attack against them. fuck those people.

Maybe if I change myself enough then she will love me… but I know she never will. The time has passed and I don’t think that I will talk to her much when I’m adult. I wish I could be the skinny pretty sweet girl she wants., instead im a guy that doesn’t fit society’s standards… but I love my body and how I look… I love how I look like a guy and how I can sneak male clothes and deodorant and things like that into my life without her knowing.. I love being a guy.. when I was that girl I wanted to starve myself and I did for a week I ate a least a bite of food a day and I lost 10 pounds or more in 5 days… my muscles grew weak and I could barely get out of bed I kept telling myself “ just do this so you can be good for her” I said that over and over but I never was… now that I’m a guy i still feel deeply sad but it’s better you know.. I still hate my life but what can you do… I go by Dimitri now… way better then that.

I HATE HAVING A EATING DISORDER IT RLY SUCKS AND I WISH I DIDNT HAVE IT.I WISH I WASNT OBSSESSED WITH BEING SKINNY. I WISH I WAS NATURALLY SKINNYYYY

Livings hard. It really really really fucking is, I am a child why do I feel this way I know my mother doesn’t like me at least not who I am I can’t be her perfect daughter… im not even a girl anymore she would hate me if I ever came out to her. I was in fucking 4th grade I came out to her i was so nervous I was shaking I was so scared that she would scream and scream… and she did. I said to her “ mom I like girls and boys” and after that what she did was.. I would never do such a thing. She yelled and yelled and insulted me about how I am a stupid child and I don’t know what I’m talking about… it’s been years I still like girls and boys… in fact I am a boy now and I feel so much more comfortable. But she makes me want to rip off my skin so maybe then I will be good enough for her.

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS GIRL IS A BITCH YOU HEAR ME?!??? She KNEW I WAS GOING TO GET THE APARTMENT SNF NOW SHE IS????!!! Tftftgzjekrkrnrjeiebeuehwisifzfuritor AT LEAST SHE HAS A FRICKIN HOME THAT SHE CAN GO TO LIKE WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF and now I have to See her ugl bitchy Face whenever I am in my dorm. I honestly just want to cry to be honest. Why is she even trying to speak to me normally. I don’t want to hear her Voice at all

I realize that guilt and shame is linked to physical health. Living with secrets isn’t apart of my genetic makeup, I have to be transparent and I’m ok with that. I know that my He is proud of me, even if for anyone else they aren’t.

i hate myself, my body, my mind, i hate it all, i cant even look myself in the mirror anymore