All Rants

I have this one friend who’s been with her boyfriend of 2 years, nearly 3. I really don’t like her boyfriend cause I had found his hinge profile, all of his information was up to date cause at the start of their relationship he was living in a different city and he moved to his current city. His hinge profile showed his recent city and everything was updated and so I tell my friend and she didn’t know what to think so she called her boyfriend and his explanation was that “he has the apps but has never opened them”. I should also mention his hinge profile said active today. Anyways, she calls me and tell me what he says I say that he’s lying cause it said he was active today and she said “thank you for looking out for me but I’m gonna believe my boyfriend on this”. Not to mention this dude is still friends with his ex’s, she’s said “I wonder if he thinks I’m pretty” but then says well I’m not insecure so I don’t need him to validate me. There’s so much more but I don’t have enough words

Maybe death will be kinder. People will remember me for the good soul I was before I can mess up any further

I'm so so scared. When it gets too stressful someone takes over and punches me. Forces me to hit myself. I don't like touching my textbooks because I get scared and stressed Again and I hit myself again. I don't want that. That's not what normal people do.

im tired of constantly checking my phone to no notifications at all, im so lonely and friendless

Im gonna end it. I have a date. No one will miss me. I hope it works

I just love when fam won't listen to what I have to say with what I go through but they expect me to listen to them. It shouldn't be one sided. Seems like it's one frustrating thing after another.

So I have this one friend. Let's call her Wendy. Basically, she showed an information to my friend that I told her not to tell to and when I confront her, she kept denying it although it was damn obvious. This incident happened a year ago and this bitch act like nothing happened. What's ironic is she told me that shes incapable of lying 😂😂😂😂😂 and she said shes doing devotion everyday to strengthen her relationship with God. There's more to tell about this hypocrite but I won't talk further more about it. I hope she suffers like how I did in school and suffer forever and ever.

My mom keeps defending my shitty uncle who has my schizophrenic depressed only chinese speaking grandma in a non Chinese speaking rehab home. And i just found out she had a roommate that hit her and is in jail now. And her nice ex roommate chose to be homeless instead of live there. WTF. She doesn't even struggle with drug addiction as far as I'm aware. She only takes medication! The only addiction she had when i was growing up with her is drinking fucking SODA!!!!! That's not a crime!!!!!

I don't know what to say. I just wanted to tell someone that I'm ashamed, and may have or may not hurt my parents' reputation tonight. We were having dinner with this pastor, my father was given the task to accompany him. And somehow, he ended up telling a long story about how he become a pastor. We listened. And finally during the end of the conversation, my dad said that I have similar experience dealing with something traumatic too. And said that I could see "ghosts" because tbh, i got diagnosed with something that can cause hallucinations. And somehow, in the end, I ended up crying infront of everybody. I don't want to discuss that side of me anymore. Never to my family, never to people that are "close". I have a long history with it, and somehow the flashbacks all of the traumatic things just happen to me and my father expected me, far as I can tell, to tell it to the whole table. I just cry and stay silent like that. That accompanying job is supposed to represent church.

Why is it so hard to find a person to date. I have been single for years. I love being my own person but frick I want the love of my life, my best friend. I havent even had a best friend in years. No one tells you how lonely adulthood is. Even the ppl that are married are miserable, least I avoided that. Thats the exact reason why I am alone still b/c I wont settle just to not be alone. There is no rush for me to find someone. I am not asking for an astronaut, but FUCK BRUSH UR FUCKEN TEETH. Over half of the ppl I meet dont even bother picking up a toothbrush. I swear thats the majority of the reason why some ppl cant get a date is b/c their breath is ppl repellant. Some ppl are so oblivious of how their odor can keep ppl AWAY!!! If I can talk to you and look at ur mouth and see that u have inflamed gums and undisturbed plaque, I know this wont work BLAH!!! Please everyone for the sake of ur own well being and the longevity of ur teeth BRUSH YOUR FUCKEN TEETH AND MAYBE FLOSS SOMETIMES!

It's terrifying not having any healthcare. I'm a female diagnosed with SAD and GAD, in perimenopause. Not having access to healthcare compunds the anxiety. How do I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world but I can't afford healthcare? I'm not trying to defraud anyone or any system. The Trump administration is soul sucking, out of touch bullies. And, whatever happened to the message, "it's better to give than receive." A whole bunch of "stuff" doesn't make you happy...but what do I know? I'm just a female. I'm getting a much better understanding of how awful women are treated.

I seriously want to kill myself for the first time in years, life just hasn't been fair. I'm fifteen so I try to tell myself things would get better obviously, but I compare myself to others often. I compare how I look, my life, my GPA and general academic capabilities, and the worst part is that I'm completely isolated as well. I don't have anyone to talk to and I hate it. Moreover, my parent are such a significant reason for everything. The most major issue is the fact they hardly let me go out, they've had me in online school since Covid, I've talked to them regarding this multiple times but I'm always shut down. I'm not poor, maybe lower middle class, I hate it either way. Just a couple days ago I found a roach crawling under my bed, there's been flies on my food that I had to throw out. There's rust on my wall, mold covering my window and in my shower. Most of my clothes comes from my younger cousin. I hate myself, my family, my home, and I can't get away from it.

is it just me? every time I feel like I've not done the part, I feel disappointment instantly. I was appointed as an overall chairman in designing our room for a competition, we all aim to win. However, I participated in a Zumba Mass Contest, still within our school. I got busy and didn't know how to manage my time properly, It's difficult for me to move back and fort. We practiced Zumba whole-day, our only break is during lunch time and a 10 minute rest, so every time i had a chance to help, I help. Later this day, after we finished practicing I helped and monitored them even just a little bit. Though, I'm not satisfied of what i contributed, I got home earlier than them since I can't stay late at school because my mom won't be able to pick up me because she's scared of driving during night time, there's no taxi, uber, or bus in our area since it is a province, so there's no way for me to commute. I keep saying sorry to my classmates, adding, I'd make it up to them at future events.

I've got so much built up that's the problem part of it. It could probably fill a book. The other is the toxicity of my home environment. I suppose therapy isn't free that's why most people vent in places like this as opposed to a journal. But journaling is good too just nobody will see what you're going through unless you tell them of course. Other people like my relative for example, will block you and give you the middle finger over your issues yet they'd stop in unannounced alot or call alot to my fam and go on about their issues. And get up and leave when they were done whining. Mostly unimportant stuff they just want to bitch about. They also promised me they'd keep secret what I told them then yet turned around and told my fam anyway. Idk I hate how fkd up my family is to begin with.

I’m moving states to be with my long distance boyfriend after years. I’ve known for awhile that at some point one of us was going to have to make the move, and that it was most likely going to be me. I’m ready for something new but as the day gets closer to me leaving, I’m getting really scared. My boyfriend says he doesn’t understand how brave I’m being and how he wouldn’t be able to handle it. When in fact… it is the opposite. I feel like I can’t tell him either because I feel like if I do say something along the lines of me being scared of moving, or me being sad about leaving my family and friends, he’s going to feel guilty. probably just feeling all this because it’s right around the corner but yeah

Truth is, if we really wanted to help each other... whenever people say I need help or I'm suffering. People should at least listen. There would be more micro niche meetups and less of 'Ayo, youer stupid/freaky/pick any other insult here'. Sadly as I'm learning more and more as I become too old to be even useful let alone cared about. People like bitching as it's all we can do. I know I'm not being truly helpful with this but few people ever give me time to try and readapt or help out and if there's old fucks like me who can't even find someone to talk with. I don't see much help in this. You can feel free to say whatever to this, hate me, call me a freak, say I don't deserve to live, I'm lying, whatever. Since all I am is one big pent up waste of space and nowhere I go or have gone ever ends well. I say just wait around and wait for it to stop. I've already tried giving time to hobbies with people and shit... wasted. Love is a farce and the only thing left is the end to come.

Please do not judge me for this, I know how wrong this is. I find myself interacting with bad spaces on the internet, specifically the bad part of the TCC. I do not know why I am doing this as I have always been against these type of communities and such, I think it might be because it gives me a sort of dopamine boost, I really don't know how to explain. I have tried to distance myself from these sorts of things multiple times and it never works, I always feel an intense amount of guilt after interacting with this community and yet I can't stop. I'm scared of what type of person it could possibly turn me into. I am way too scared to seek help for this issue because I don't want people thinking I'm a threat (I am NOT.) or that I glorify real criminals, because I don't. This is such a stupid issue but I just need to see if anyone could possibly help or give advice on how to stop this.

I fucking hate u to the core of my heart

I hate feeling the way I do. Yesterday triggered it and I haven't been able to shake it. I've been through a lot over the years. Even steel beams and iron bars bend under stress. My life has been one giant trauma stress ball tbh. I really don't know.

Someone left a cruel and mean note in my rant but I could careless lol. Got used to being emotionally abused many times as a kid that even if I'm being told to kms, it means nothing.