these past few days i've been feeling more and more tired, suffocated as well and i don't know why
i dont have anybody to talk to about this, but all i know is i want to distance myself from everybody until i feel okay and i dont know why in the first place because i don't think its valid for me to feel this way
i began to feelmlike this when my family just began to sort of fall apart
i feel so suffocated honestly my chest is always tight and my heart feels so weak
what do i do?
I've been a porn addict since I was 13. I'm nearly 17 and I still haven't gotten rid of it. I feel like such a fucking creep and loser for still being into that shit. Over-time it feels like I'm getting more and more extreme - I started on social media (Tik Tok then Instagram) to see any loophole accs with hentai on them. Then I went onto Reddit and it got worse over time, more and more... This was about 5-6 months into my addiction. I promised myself to get rid of my addiction but it never happened. Then I went on to the dedicated porn sites (r34 and the such) where it grew and grew. Then one day I made an account on a furry porn site and since then I've kept making accounts on several sites. I remember then roleplaying with people sexually, and very recently I would add people, sext with them and then move to another platform to talk with them sexually. I remember one person knew I was a minor (I didn't announce it to them) and he acted so vile.
I don't want to be like this anymore.
I HATE MY MOM she says that if i behave "bad" she is gonna kill me like WTF bro she says that she has so much work but look at me? i have skating classes 4 TIMES a week and coding classes 2 times a week and 7 hrs of school and i dont have any work? SHE has less work than me and no one understands mr I wish i could die like hello i dont have feelings right? i dont have emotions i fucking hate her
I feel like im annoying to all of my friends, and that they only come to me to rant about their problems. I have this one friend who always rants to me in the morning and she expects me to listen?? And I can’t pay attention in class cause of her. And she gets so fucking lazy and one of my grades are going down because of her. I fucking hate it, maybe keep some things to yourself at this point. Cause im actually so annoyed. And she fucking pulls this shit when she some reason has a problem with my friend group ( me included) and at lunch she starts crying in a corner. Then she writes in her “ death journal” for some reason and the teachers get involved and my whole class gets evacuated. And the next day she threatens me to do stuff for her. I can’t deal with her anymore.
Im genuinely inlove with my best friend who told me she loved me 6 months ago. I was in denial about my sexuality back then but now I realize I do love her. At the same time my mental health has only deteriorated since. Im depressed, suicidal, self harming and very much lost in life. I dont know what to do about anything anymore. I get sad from her saying she can’t hang out one weekend, or acting weird with me. We’re still closer than ever but Im just so confused and tired
my parnetsbalways ask ne to go places with them and iusualky say no because tis exryemely hot outside and i feek disgustibg in shorts and i alwsy feel so bad when i say no bedause they make a whole scene of askung everyone else if theyd like to come with and im sitting ghere watching rhenm and ist even worse now becaues im nit taking painkiliersbso ifeel extremelgb emotional during my periods and theyre always asking why ade you cryinqg why are you crying and im like i doent know and they just leave and they always cone back having hdone to my favorite stores and theni just feel fat ebfusse om not going anywhere e
no matter what i do or how good i am its never good enough for my dad. the second i mess up he reminds me of every other time ive screwed up and that im such a bad kid. then literally five seconds later he gets over it and is like oh you’re a good kid you know that? like no i dont. i dont know what to think. i want a good relationship but half the time its either hes angry at me and being aggressive, or hes happy but im still hurt by things he’s said before. i feel like i cant win and i just want reassurance from him. i dont want to feel like i cant go to him because i messed up. its the worst when i overhear him complaining about me to my mom because i know thats what he truly feels and it fully contradicts what he tells me to my face
i feel like what some people don’t realize is that when i’m sending them my art, i’m sending them my soul. i’m trusting them with a piece that i made and put my heart into because i have faith in them to see it the way i do and support me. i expect the same thing back that i would give them if they were to send me art; praise, compliments, pointing things out in the art piece so they feel seen and validated. i very rarely get that back and it’s discouraging. is my art that bad? does it offend you? could you not even spare more than 2 seconds writing me something genuinely meaningful to your friend? sometimes i wonder why i put effort into things that i don’t receive back.
I hate it that my pet is getting old and won’t be around for all my life. People say it’s only a parrot and pull myself together. Really depressed thinking about it as she loves me unconditionally and never judges. Don’t want her to get old and leave me
First it was crackle crackle in the ceiling at 4 to 5 am or so which woke me up btw. Then it's my raging acting fam after they were woke up trashing me. Blurting out mocking the things I say to complain. Despite being told to shut up they went nonk don't have to and crap. Ok. Well if they knew and actually understood the anxiety and frustrating stuff I deal with in my daily life, they'd complain exactly the same. Because they complain about stuff in their own ways and I listen to it as well. Such as how other relatives and people in their past have acted. So they got no right to trash me for what I say. Mic drop
Solely focusing on output won't fix what's wrong and broken with everything I create, nor the guilt and the pain of trying in spite of my bullies and wiser people in their schadenfreude. I can't quit, even if I do kill myself by the age of 30, or end up lonely, poor, and miserable in the age of AI outsourcing.
I'm terrified that I may be similar to William Topaz McGonagall. I feel that others must berate people like me to show genuine taste to themselves. I feel as though fate set me up to be despised.
Being untalented compared to others makes me suicidal as fuck. I'm just expected to get it, yet everyone I've ever shared my ideas with either thought I was boring, fundamentally wrong, or only supported me by association because it's polite to pretend to be onboard with a special needs kid. I feel so disgusting, as though it's deserved.
its crazy how a near death experience will change you. I've never been so happy to see colors, smell, hear nature, drink water ???!!!" Like literally anything I'm so grateful but at the same time a part of me is saying I don't want to be he here anymore. Probably because the pain is unbearable. My heart feels like its dropped 100000 meters into a pit, somedays I can laugh and communicate and I'm grateful I truly am and then some days I'm just NUMB. No words can form if they wanted to and i just shut down so hard I can't even fake a smile to comfort my mom so she knows I'm at least OK. I'm not.
I got into a horrible accident a week ago. My two friends were in the car and one of them didn't make it. If I'm being realistic.. there should've been no survivors based how freakish that crash was. We were going 120mph maybe , stupid . My friend Got to the turn and I realized wow this is it... I braced for impact and passed out. According to the report we hit a guardrail, went airborne over train tracks, and overturned in a ditch a very deep one with mud, thorns, all I saw was a light and just followed it idk how I got out , I managed to help my girl friend out of the car but I couldn't help my guy friend I was just screaming his name hoping he'd get up, in the hospital I was praying he'd be okay. He was goofy, soft , energetic, hardworking, compassionate, determined, welcoming, literally super funny, caring and sweet. Idk what even happened that night I wish this on nobody and all i can do is blame myself because if I went home like I should've maybe he would still be here. imy </3
i’m gay and i can’t come out or do anything about it bc of my religion my family and my society. i ended things with a guy last month and ive been in love with the same girl for three years. she has a boyfriend around a year ago and i cant stop crying every single night to how pathetic i am and how sorry my life is. all i want is to accept myself. i have internalized homophobia and i’ve been praying for it to leave so i can just be normal. i’ve tried to be normal but it’s so hard when my heart physically hurts when i see her with him. i can feel my chest tightening and my throat closing up. it took me so long to realize that i am what i am and i still hate myself for it. i know my mom will hate me too. everyone will hate me and i just want to move away and be on my own. i don’t want to talk to any of my friends or my family. but i can’t do any of this and it js physically pains me that i feel so trapped and alone and it got so bad to the point where im telling whoever’s reading this.