All Rants

I feel that men's rights movements in particular wouldn't want me to have a life. It's funny how they always call people like myself delusional, when they're delusionally becoming carbon copies of eachother. In most cases, I'd just ignore them; I just feel stupid for ever expecting them to help, part of the same system that doesn't give a crap about me and keeps crippling my aspirations toward the void and away from their performative optimism. As I mentioned before, it's embarrassing trying to get like that when you know that it does nothing for your creative spirit. I can't bleed it into a soulless product, I don't even want to. Every "exit" is barred to something else or has already been mauled at by strange, foreboding creatures that try to claim themselves as another person's past; these goblins of commercialism.

I'm so pressed bro, there's this insufferable guy at my school and he always does things to me. Today we got our class pictures, and since there's a lot of people in my grade they put the pictures in a cardboard tube since they are so big. I was already irritated that my friends kept touching it (People just don't know how to handle photo paper it pmo) so it was getting smudged and then I get to class and this fuckass kid swing the tube and the paper comes out and he dents out, then he steals the tube. lt genuinely made me so mad and now there's nothing I can do, I could care less about what happens to this dude, I just wish he didn't dent my paper, and its a noticable dent too, I haven't even unrolled the paper to look at it though. #worstdayever

I never had the money to truly care for myself. I don't even want the money, I don't want to go out and work for it. It's shitty and makes a lot of people envious, I'd rather just stay put and try to be "creative" at the cost of being noticed or productive- because, again, I don't have the money. Talent isn't even an issue. Social media gives the visage of invincibility, but they're still sinking into mediocrity with the market that they can't see. There probably are other ways, but I'm not one for travelling or grovelling to people. People embarrass me, generally, and I've found that most of them don't even care. Even if I were to invest more time into becoming skilled, I can't get them to care. Then there's the guilt and the trauma of being that one kid who everyone bullied; no one from high school wants to meet up with me, even. I'm still a blight on other peoples' reputation. I can make any polished man look dirtier, it's part of my whole aesthetic.

I'm still hurt by people using me as an example for someone who's too incompetent, too addled or brainwashed by society, too incapable of handling anything themselves. I've been known as a Charlie Gordon, as someone you'd go along with while looking down upon. "Friends" always avoided me, I brought their reputation down whenever I tried to Yozo myself into some performative cheerfulness in the sad and deteriorating role of a clown, reterritorialized and taken from pleasant interactions. I know there was an expectation to perform, I played into every trap and was known by some as an "incel." "You want a date with (my name)," they'd say sarcastically, yet would play into it- I was constantly reported to HR for being too much of an autistic creep to get that no one wanted me there. I still don't grasp the determining tone; I was subjected to this just because I was special needs, I was special needs because I came from a poor family with not much experience in education at all.

I'm not depressed or anything, at most I have depressive and self-pitying mood surges, but sometimes I just wish I'd end it. Or be locked up in an asylum. Or I don't even know anymore, I just wanna rest and be gone from this world. All this anxiety, all this confusion, and all of these things in me that I can't identify but know are wrong and negative is making me rot from the inside. I'd like to believe I'm fine, I'm improving, but these days some of these little moodswings feel so intense, yet they go away so fast once I realise I don't HAVE to feel this way. But once I realise I feel a certain negative way and decide to stay in bed a little more and let myself doomscroll, I feel like an impostor and like I'm overdramatising how I feel on purpose. Which I truly feel like I do, because I have NOTHING to be that way about, yet I still do. I fantasize of bad things happening, scarring me, and I somehow, disgustingly yearn for it. I wish for all of it to stop.

I think this is the most appropriate category for this. My at-school friendships don't feel real. Most of the time they do, but then I remember the horrible shit I used to think and say to my ex-friend (who is a piece of shit and I was naive and stupid) about them because of a lack of judgement and, honestly? I have no idea why. In 7th grade I was at a new school w an old really really great friend of mine from our previous school. She started talking w this girl and then me too and I got really close really fast and she was a mean bitch. Like, she hates and says shit abt everybody. But I was stupid and naive and too anxious to voice my opinion. When hse made fun of someone, I agreed and laughed. Eventually I didn't bc I recognised it's wrong. I broke our friendship a year after and I've been good friends w more, bette rpeople, but people I once said shit abt. I misjudged, but I will never be able to forgive myself for even THINKING those words. I just feel like the fakest bitch.

I dont think i qualify for a relationship but I want to be loved so bad. My partner always tells me how it's their dream to only belong to one person (It might be slightly unhealthy but whatever, they didnt care) which I thought was amazing because I have really horrible jealousy issues so we both could fit each other's standards. But recently they havent been following what they said. They have this one friend thats always flirty and touchy, always wanting to hang out with my partner, and the friend makes me extremely uncomfortable. Ive told my partner before and my partner said they would cut them off, but they havent. they keep hanging out together. they keep talking even though I told my partner I wouldnt want them to talk at all, and they got mad at me and said i dont own them. And it just hurts, but Im also mad at myself because they arent actually mine. I feel horrible for trying to control them because now I dont think they love my jealousy anymore

I'm sick of having to deal with the problems my family causes every day, and that's the biggest mistake of their lives. It's also because my sister doesn't listen to me or understand me at all. Think about it: I live in a hostel that’s a 12-hour trip away, and you can only get there by changing modes of transportation. Now I’m coming there for a two-month vacation and bringing only a few clothes, and my sister and I are the same size, and I only brought her the clothes she doesn’t even wear, but I’m still getting an earful. And she can do this every day, but when I told her today for the first time not to give me the Vaseline, my mom tells me, “You eat this Vaseline.” Oh my god, even though she’s been so mean, she still wears my shoes and goes to practice every day, and yet I’m the one who’s to blame? No, they think I’m completely crazy. Don’t give the wrong answers, study, don’t be a top student—you haven’t achieved anything in your life so far. Oh, do you think I’d give up my life at 19?

I've dicked around in my late teens and throughout my 20s by spending money carelessly as a bad way of coping with long history of immediate family drama over money/bills, going on and off from college trying to figure out what I really wanted to do, and finally figured it out a little late and finished my bachelor's degree late last year (just few months before turning 30). Now, I'm stuck in underemployment hell working a temp job that doesn't really have consistent work hours, stuck living with my parents just to deal with even more issues, my mother has stage 2 cancer and currently getting chemotherapy treatment. All I have to show for my long-overdue college degree is student loan and credit card debt that I will probably never be able to pay off thanks to this broken POS job market keeping me in underemployment hell. I'm at a point where I honestly just don't even care about life anymore.

we broke up just days ago and it feels like hell atp, The worst part of it is that we ended so healthily my friends even agree that we'll find eachother again soon. I do hope that but theres another part of be that just wants to let go because what if he doesnt come back, what if he just decides to forget about me and move on. He says that he'll come back and that he still loves me but my past trauma and my mind is telling me that he isnt. I've lived this before and i cant fucking do anyhting about how i think and its killing me inside. I shut down before letting him in my life, i didnt believe in love and i never wanted to be vulnerable anymore, but he was literally my only exception. My heart aches to the fact hes not mine anymore, that i wont be waking up at 9am seeing his goodmorning messages and i wont be falling asleep with his gn's. It hurts knowing im not his baby, and i cant call him that anymore. I miss him, i want him to come back so bad i cant do this anymore.

I want to say so much and completely blow up at them. But I can't because I know if they were mad at me it would wound me more then how they currently treat me. So many people look down on me and its horrible, I wish I could have the bravery to talk my mind. It's an awful thing but I'm on the edge of snapping. A special person constantly complains about the people I count as my friends and then gives friend advice even though they can't keep a friend to save their life. They just leech off of other people's and then steal them and abandon the one who introduced them. I had this friend who I saw as a brother figure and suddenly now he only hangs out with me and my partner when his "love" is in the call, and it's so irritating because this man has been there for us for so long, knows so many things about us that now he tells his now partner everything. He looks down on me now and I'm so close to smacking a bish

I think im so sensitive and im so easily attached to guys who are being nice to me and then distance themselves from me. I think im unloveable and its hopeless for me. Atleast he was nice and he didnt have any bad intentions. But oh how disappointed i am.

It's exhausting being in love with someone who you can't be with. I'm a guy, and he's a guy. In his country, it's still unacceptable to be gay, or to even express yourself how you would like to. I don't know what he thinks of me, but I'm still unsure whether I'm just deeply connected to him, or if I'm in love with him. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I think he's straight. I think everything we do is just for fun and entertainment. I enjoy his company, I want to talk to him more than I already do, but whenever I try to say something, it either comes out wrong or I get nervous. Whenever I think of him, I always find myself smiling wider than I ever have before. I pray every night for his happiness and safety, and for his love. I don't mind what we are as long as we're happy. One day, I'll be able to tell him the truth - that I'm gay, and that I love him. We literally have the same interests, he has a fucking amazing music taste, and he's just so fun to talk to.

I fucking hate how my mom doesn't try. my mom borrowed the money I saved up to pay for my college, she promised that she'll pay for it before my exam. and recently, I dropped out of college because the money I saved up to pay for my college haven't been payed back because she lost her job for some misunderstanding reason with her boss. what I'm angry at is that I worked hard for that money, I even clean bathrooms for others just to save enough money, but she doesn't try to help me find ways to pay for it. it's been a month since she lost her job, yet she doesn't try to find other ways to pay for it. when I took an entrance exam to transfer school, I passed it—good thing about the school is that it doesn't have a tuition fee, but I still can't transfer school because of my unpaid balance to my last school. I really don't know what to do right now. I just want to finish college, and have a better opportunities.

I’m going to end my life tonight. I normally think that and chicken out but I will do it. I wrote my letters and I’ll clean my room when I get home. I’ve been skipping classes for the past two weeks and finals are next week. I have no clue what is going on and I’m failing almost all of my classes. I will not repeat this grade.

do you need me anymore, do you still like having me around

How can I tell I'm getting worse to the point that it's serious? I'm still pretty young and I shouldn't be having these thoughts but it doesnt feel serious enough because I don't act on any of those thoughts. For context school friendship has been pretty rough on me but other than that my parents are a bigger problem. It's not like they hate me it's just my mom constantly has mood swings and I feel like I cant be myself around her. I'm scared she's going to snap if I ask for anything and recently I've been thinking of running away and just offing myself entirely. I want to just die alone somewhere no one will find me or panic if they see me. The thing is I'm not scared of death I'm just scared of the pain I might bring. The friends around me are hard to manage. I don't want to upset any of my friends but its hard and I dont blame them. Everything just feels like it's collapsing on me. When I die one day I want to see the look of guilt on my parents face when they realize their mistake

im really worried about my gf about her current state rn cause she has a lump on her armpit and her family has a history of having breast cancer thats why im really worried we are teenagers i still wanna spend my whole life with her she did get a check up yet but im super worried about her

these past few days i've been feeling more and more tired, suffocated as well and i don't know why i dont have anybody to talk to about this, but all i know is i want to distance myself from everybody until i feel okay and i dont know why in the first place because i don't think its valid for me to feel this way i began to feelmlike this when my family just began to sort of fall apart i feel so suffocated honestly my chest is always tight and my heart feels so weak what do i do?

What's going on with the world I just wish Jesus would was real and would come back