All Rants

i lose friends. why? i dont fucking know that. theyre all predictable on one thing, theyll leave as soon as you become comfortable. and its like you cant do anything about it. its just, inevitable. we shouldve just studied without any external connections, maybe that way we all wouldve graduated. i will never understand why people have to put others down when theyre on top of the FUCKING table with their 46 medals of appreciation and not because of their grades. like you have all forms of appreciation do you want a cookie for dragging others down? shitless shameless and fucking deluded losers. all of them have NO RIGHT to talk on who i am when all they do i search for appreciation while putting others down in the dark depths of vision. IF WE WERE ALONE MAYBE THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN. DECADES HAVE PASSED AND YOURE TELLING ME THE EDUCATION SYSTEM HAS ONLY DEGRADED?!

i don't feel good about myself at all. its like i used to be something, but im astronomically not good at anything. i grew up what is supposed to be called normal. i cant understand it. i know that there are seasonal depressions and shit but tmamn this has been so.. long. feels like decades have passed and im fucking done with myself. i want to prove myself right on something positive and not prove my overthinking skills again. i repeat everytime i predicted that someone would leave me because i had nothing on the fucking table. i FUCKING hate everyone. FUCK YOU TO ALL 20+ PEOPLE IN ALL 4 SECTIONS OF MY BATCH LEVEL IN SCHOOL. YOU ALL HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO JUDGE MY LIFESTYLE NOW. YOU WANTED THIS, SO FUCKING TAKE IT. I LOST FRIENDS TIME AND AGAIN AND YOU STILL USE ME FOR FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT. FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR SHIT. IM NOT SOME PUPPY ON TELEVISION TO BE JUDGED. YOU HAVE NO EMPATHY AND WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WITHOUT IT. YOU ALL GREW UP SHITTING AND SHITTING. DIE ALL OF YOU DIE

i hate how i just have to move on. its been 3 years, and i hear that the person i've been dying to meet has to exit apparently. this is killing me inside and yet i still do things i shouldn't all while never being able to meet them. i feel so lost like a opportunity truly happening once has been lost to pure dissipation and its like i cant do fucking anything. im so lonely.

Ever since the cheating he's been acting more happy then ever and I'm still as sad as I was when I found out .. does this mean he finally chose me or am I just being played again ? Wish I could get a mans perspective. Idk. That's all for today .

how i was saying, since Friday 17th, she decided to be another person to be, and she expects that i gonna talk normal to her, and she complained yesterday because i didn't. Bro, life is hard, school fuck us up, and because of school i wanna kill myself, i just wanna end this shit.

mine experience is more about school and how my relationship is going with my mom. First thing is that every thing at school i'm good, unless math, i cannot explain how frustrating it is, how it's affecting my relation with my mom, someone who I love from the deep of my heart. She is mad at me and acts like i'm the problem, and i really am. I have no doubts. How can school be like that. She is yelling at me every day like idk bro. I'm getting tired of it fr. She keep saying that next year we gonna move to another country and if i dont graduate, i'ii stay. Do u know how it feels to have such a weight at your back like it all depends of u. It's like she's saying that everything is my fault, and you know what, maybe it is, maybe its all my fault, my fault that she has all that illness, that she almost died because of the illness that she has, that we still here in this country, the reason of all her stress, the reason of everything. I used to be very very close to her, but since friday

I cannot wait until I finally fucking die. This life is so pointless and I am so useless.

I feel like I chose the wrong career and I'm too far in to change. I finally got my "dream job" about 6 months ago and it's now what i expected it to be at all. For context I'm a therapist. Since I'm a new clinician I have to have supervision. My supervisor is also my boss and during our meetings I don't feel like I'm learning or growing that much. We really just talk about things relating to her business. Most day I feel like a dear in the headlights. I'm trying my best to help the clients I work with most days I feel like im not doing enough. I'm also burned out a bit. this past weekend I felt like I had an impending doom over me because I knew i would have to go back to work on monday. part of my feels like maybe it's the company but the other half is saying maybe it's the career in general. i don't know, but i need to figure it out because the last thing i want to do is cause harm to any of my clients

why are there lvls to sh? its like everyone is competing eachother and i just feel so inferior

so many scratches and only one bled

i'm so tired. Everybody has their end but I wish mine would come sooner, like really soon. Or I wish I could just skip to the future where all these problems are so far behind me. I'm so tired.

I’ve been way too anxious over uv exposure and the negative effects of what it can do to one’s health. I need an advice on how not to think about it so obsessively and still be able to live normally.

idk y but like my mum keeps siding w my sis whenever she does shit to piss me off like tf its not my fault she was born I didn't ask for her y tf ru making any problem associated w her my problem jn I was being nice and clearing ppls laundry but then sm texted me so obvi I replied but then that thing had to open her mouth n be bitchy abt me not finishing up w the clothes first like hello? she complained abt me not clearing her clothes when I wasnt even done w mine yet too if being nice was a crime then at least say so then that way I wont have to always regret being nice mind u this is def not the first or last time shes gonna pull bs like this n I was like sm texted me so I had to reply then my mum was like dont talk to ur sis like that idk y but she always has a problem w how I talk if Im nice Im being sarcastic if Im talking normally like how I talk to my friends she complains abt how I sound like idc whatever I do is not enough for anyone and I js dont know what they want from me.

honestly i do not know who to tell this too but it's been on my mind and i have to get it off my chest. i'm sick of people telling me "i want a man who yearns" or "i'm yearning for him". you DO NOT want to yearn, or be yearned for, i'm sorry. imagine being so obsessed with the idea of someone that you ruin your own life over it, and your entire life is dependent on that person. and you're idealizing that person in your head, if you "love" someone for 10 years from faraway, you're in love with the idea of them. you probably don't even know the real them after all that time. and when that person is finally in your orbit, you get disappointed because they don't match up to the perfection that you built on your own inside your head. all that pain for what? you ruin your mental health by yearning for somebody. the romanticization of it in modern media is disgusting. we lost the meaning of yearning. i don't know who needs to read this, but i hope this finds the right audience. have agood day

I have 4 days left to finish my film along with all my other classes there's just not enough hours left I'm doomed and running out of steam. It's all my fault and I know dwelling on it is just making it worse but I can't stop I'm panicking. God, why do i have to be so lazy? Why can't my brain work like a normal persons? Maybe it does and its all just an excuse for myself to be lazy I don't know. whyyy did I chose to go to college i am just wasting money in a dead end dying major anyways ugh whyy did i want to do this as a kid I wish i could have been interested in something normal like law or tech I'm regretting everything and just letting people down. I'm not event that good at this shit theres so many people that are so much more passionate about it than me how did I get into this major it seems like im just taking space this feels so unfair. Its all my fault too and i dont know what to do. I didn't even feel this helpless when my dad passed why do i feel like this?

i'm just tired of the workload. i just wanna work less and earn more!!!!! free me omg

i just gave my math exams. gosh i feel so terrible. did i fail again? im in my final year, damn it. ill be leaving school after this. if i send my uni application with grades this bad, what will i even do???? i dont want to fail math again. i tried. i really tried this time. im not a bad kid, i swear, im trying. im trying so hard. but its never enough. i want to cry. why? just why? why does everything happen around times like this, when im already going through so much and i simply cant bring myself to study?? im trying. i am. what do i even do? how do i study for exams that will affect my future so much, so late? i dont want to fail math again. please, not again. i cant bear the disappointment a third time. not again. i hate this so much.

Another reason why Brisbane cyclists needs licence plates. 6.15pm 20th April 2026 Wilkie St heading towards Cardross Street Yeerongpilly Qld. Male with dark clothing, had no front light and no warning devices and illegally and dangerously rode on the left side of pedestrians

Finding a job just really fucking sucks especially with how the world is going right now. I pointed out of the last job I had because of my wife's sister dying and that apparently didn't count as something they could forgive, so now i've been out of a job for at least two whole months now and my wife has had to be the sole money maker and that's eating away at me really damn badly. She keeps reassuring me that we have a safety net and that we have enough cash to last quite a long time with her being the only one to bring money in, but it doesnt keep me from feeling like dead weight even when i've picked up on the household chores like the dishes and the laundry to compensate in SOME way. I don't know where to even begin because my ADHD makes me ANXIOUS AF and i keep worrying that the interviews i do get few and far between end up going nowhere because of something i do that i can't pick up on, and the fact i cant figure any of this out STILL is driving me mad and im nearing my limit.

everything aboslutely sucks. everyday Im constantly going through the cycle of school, trying to live life as if it matters to me. days go day by day. Middle school is horrible. gum stucked up everywhere, trying to act like I am okay. I hate people, I hate trying to doing anything. But I'm constantly pushed around until I cry. I hate wasting my words on people. I hate trying to just get through their thick skulls I'm not a she/her anymore. IM A THEY/THEM FOR SAKE!. I hate trying to look normal. I hate trying to just feel seen and validated. I have others in my life that are struggling harshly. I feel like I'm overreacting. but I cant do this anymore. Im trying to be 'positive' but man, that doesn't HELP. I feel horrible. I feel sick to the core. I feel like I can't do anything without messing up or making a fool of myself. I'm holding back killing myself because of my other friends. but it's getting harder. and harder. but. I'll try. I guess.