All Rants

I want to kill myself but i know i wont because im to much of a fucking wimp to do so but god if I had the courage to leave everything behind i'd probably wouldve done it a month ago.

How can a person snore so fucking loud. It’s like sleeping with a monster!

Everyone in my life ends up hating me and abandoning me eventually. It used to make me so mad as a teenager but now as an adult, I understand why everyone hates me. I genuinely suck as a human being and the world would be a better place if I wasn't in it.

All I do is mess up. I can never do anything right and I end up hurting everyone. I hate myself and I'm sick of who I am. My good intentions never match my actions. I'm just a big fuck up. The only thing I'm good at doing that doesn't affect anyone is sleeping. 😞

I literally feel extreme anxiety being around a certain person but I haven’t been able to get away and I can’t stand them. I literally feel my chest fill with anxiety whenever they are near.

August has been the worst month I've had in such a long time. 🙁 I've made many mistakes that ended up hurting people. I accidentally got into someone else's car that wasn't my Uber and I feel immense shame and disgust for myself. Then I spilt a drink in my Uber driver's car and I felt extremely guilty and apologized repeatedly to the point of tears 😭💔 my boyfriend dumped me and before that he yelled at me and called me a huge disappointment and wished he never met me. Then my best friend has been ghosting me since July. I also showed up to work an hour late today because I was feeling so overwhelmed by this month and they were mad at me and I ended up working 14 hours today. I hate that I make so many mistakes and I hate that I end up hurting everyone around me. I wish I could just die and disappear forever and be forgotten by everyone because I truly don't deserve to live anymore. 💔

My sister is like the evil stepmother from Cinderella

My sister has severe paranoia and or psychosis. She always is super paranoid over her dog and thinks her dog is always sick and right now she thinks her dog has like indigestion ands being super weird because her dog won’t drink water and it’s probably because she’s just not thirsty but she’s upsetting her dog with her energy. Her dog is literally fine but she’s acting like she’s going to die. What’s going to kill her dog is her foul energy.

I haven’t seen him for months. I’d like to know what he looks like right now, and I hope he’s doing well—getting that good sleep and going outside. If he’s going through anything or how is his mental health? If he’s currently in a relationship with someone in real life or is he just sleeping around? I’m not sure what his mind is up to. What his needs are. What is he going through? I hope he’s doing great with his friends as he told me they weren’t good people. What are his future plans or is he planning to study abroad? I just want to wish him well and hope the best for him

i just want my teachers to recognize me for my work

I met this person and I like her i'm very interested in getting to know her But it feels like every time I try to have some semblance of a conversation she tells me what she thinks I want to hear instead of what I actually want to hear-which is the truth I just want to know what's going on in her mind regarding planning on meeting up and what the plan is for this relationship Because I thought we were on the same page but it's pointing towards oh well we're going with a completely different plan... like she randomly put me in a group chat with her other partner and it turned out OK but she didn't even ask first and it was very abrupt and it wasn't talked about nor consensual And that's the part that scares me. Because I really enjoy this online but I'm scared that if I can't talk to her I can't play with her... BDSM

Sometimes I wonder if I just like the idea of having a partner. Cause im in a fairly new relationship and he's great we're currently long distance and he asked me to tell him a story and I was like "argh let me read" at first but then I was like okay let's take a dream I had and just tell him that. I kinda got into though but idk where exactly to go with this story since im very much making it up as I go and idk if I want this to be a regular thing. I do like him but idk if i love him we haven't been together that long but im a little worried that I want the idea of a relationship, even though when im single I want a partner

I hate myself I am a anxious attachment person and I feel like it ruins my love life I had a plan to kms but the pills disappeared

I don't know why I'm suddenly remembering all these memories that I wish would stay forgotten. Even with the dementia, he sometimes could recognize who I was. Sometimes I'd hold on to his hand right before I left, and he'd grip back like he didn't want me to leave. That day, they forced me to grab his cold hand as we wept, as if "wake up, your grandchild is here" would bring him back. He had been long gone. The dementia took him first, and then death itself i miss him

im not trying to be better anymore all im doing is masking and pretending my life isnt shitty

i tear up whenever someone treats me like i actually matter and i dont know why

why is it that the moment i get close to someone they leave

All I can think about is that corpse

the love feels so absent. I love you feels like it’s falling on deef ears. The hugs feel forced, waking up in the middle of the night realizing your cuddling with me and letting go as if I’m a disease hurts. Me laying on your chest and you turning me over cuts knowing you rolled to the other side so my back is against yours. Waking up with so much hate in your words knowing if I stay in bed I’m fucked and if I crawl out I’m fucked too. My heart hurts, I feel numb and I feel dumb for feeling this way.

my own mother uses me as a therapist, and im exhausted. im only 20 and had to move halfway across the country as it was my last resort since they chose to kick me out at 19. now i have to struggle to live on my own, with the mental disorders my parents caused me and i have to send them money nearly every other day because they're in a terrible financial situation that they again, got themselves into. but every other day, my mother texts me about a new disorder she thinks she has, or new rants, and new breakdowns and new needs for even more money. all of a sudden today, after i recently told her i got diagnosed with autism, and suspecting ocd, she claims she has BOTH. Mind you, ocd runs on my dads side, and no one in her family has history of it. im just exhausted and dont know what to do anymore, ive tried to tell her i cant help as much but i get another rant and guilt trip so i cant find a way out. i think im beginning to get burnt out, and even reading her messages stresses me out.