All Rants

School stresses me out so much to the point that every day is just surviving through the stress until Saturday. That's the one day my mind is at peace and quiet. Sunday is also horrible because I think of the fact that Monday is school and then have to study and it causes me stress. I keep bottling it up and comforting myself saying that everything will be fine and it works for a while until all the bottled up stress just explodes and then my mind doesn't work and I don't voluntarily think of the stressful situations yet my body decides to react to them. I'm genuinely so tired of it all because I don't know how to stop it I just can't wait to finish school I can't handle it anymore

Do you ever feel like your world is falling apart? I am terrified of everything. It feels harder to get up every morning and I get more tired with every day. Sleep doesn't seem to help either. I feel like I'm just waiting for death. But I'm also scared of death because no one knows what happens after death. If God really does exist, heaven would be a possibility after death. But I feel more terrified of heaven then just disappearing. How am I supposed to imagine an eternity of life when life right now doesn't feel happy. I am afraid of waking up one morning and just not being able to do it anymore. Am I really just waiting for death at this point? Hoping God does not exist so that I can fade into nothingness?

Brother- I am not sure exactly why we fell apart… We are brothers and I want an adult brother relationship. I know I can be controlling sometimes, and am working on that. You relied on mom for everything, and then mom suddenly died, when you relied on her for everything. Nobody was there to help you. And I think you won't accept help from anyone other than mom- who died almost 10 years ago… I said bad things about your girlfriend before Christmas 2021. I apologize. I was angry and said things I should not have said. I have tried to help you with many things - finances, and whatnot. You helped me with car issues and my ac and dryer a few years ago. Then at my wedding we fell apart. You said you would take a day off to help with setup. You did not. You refused to stay at my bachelor party. I wanted to spend time with my brother. You caused drama that got you kicked out of the wedding party. Now you won't talk to me. Are we brothers or just guys who lived in the same house?

'Dad' you are a terrible father. I only have several good memories of you, and I'm sure there was manipulative energy in those good memories. The rest of my memories of you are terrible. You are a manipulative, gaslighting asshole! I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten a thing. I gave you one more chance. You went to church and talked to a pastor. You are saying the right words. You let me tell the truth about you to your face, and you told me some truths. But then you are now trying to shift all the blame on the nasty shit you did on your dead mother / dead wife. Grandma was never in the room when you emotionally and sexually abused me! Mom had her part. She could have protected me and brother more, but that shouldn't have given you the right to abuse your children. I have given you several chances to admit to your part in fucking me up. Instead you want to throw blame at the dead women in your life. Shame on you. I still forgive you, but I am done.

I’m so tired of evrything And everything is making my super mad and everything hurts and I just hate my fricking life

i was raped and now i feel so empty. i'm so scared of everything and everyone. i don't want to go out of my house. i smell him in everything. i feel like my insides are constantly violated and my mouth tastes like him no matter how much i brush my teeth. i sleep with the lights on. i'm scared he'll appear out of nowhere

you know that feeling when you don't want to live anymore but you don't want to die? Yah that's me right now like my life is so shit right now I don't think I deserve to be alive. if I did, well my teachers wouldn't ignore me and point out all my mistakes, my friends wouldn't leave me, my dad wouldn't sexually abuse me, my mum wouldn't yell at me, I'm just.... idk . I don't feel right. I don't feel like I deserve to be alive. is this normal? Am I pycho? Am I weird. Is there something wrong with me? Will I ever be normal?!

I feel so disgusting. My dad raped me. I mean I think it was rape. For some reason my body welcomed him, but I hated every second of it. Does that count as rape? And I've a relapse into hurting myself again because of him. He keeps telling me not to tell anyone but Its really hard and its making me feel like shit. I know if I tell someone he'll prob end up in jail and I don't want that and that's why I havn't told anyone but I feel like shit and I don't want this to keep happening. But I know it will because i'm a people pleaser and I cant say no.

I struggle everyday to speak to other people, I constantly get too nervous when I have to stand in front of everyone in class. Recently I started crying during a presentation, and I never felt to embarrassed before. I can't control myself at all. I will never forget this, I hate myself for being so shy.

They won't shut up. They keep pressuring him, her and I... "

I don’t know if my crush likes me like we dated before and I got dumped after a week I know what ppl say about dating your ex but I still like her but I am worried that if I aks her out she will say no and it will ruin our friendship and I like it like it’s a close friendship I just don’t know waht to do

I don't know who is reading this because i hope your time get's better, i know i should just vent here but even here i struggle to do that, i wanted to be heard, not like i took my life for granted, i have love, food in the table, yet i feel empty. I feel like i can't show sides and parts of myself without being critisciced by others, i can't even spell right, im just a mess. I need to play the part of man, be the one they expect me to be, yet how am i suppose to do that if what i feel and what i look are not the same? I just hope, wherever you are, whoever you are, no matter if we wouldn't like each other of we met. I just hope you have a better day, im just tired of all of this and i just hope i won't be tired anymore.

I feel so alone. Idk i feel like all my friends suddenly decided to hate me and that sucks. I wish i was loveable.

Sick to death of this prissy little**** in my group who is just desperate for attention and everyone loves her it makes me want to gouge every organ out of my body one by one. SOMEONE JUST TAKE HER OUT ALREADY Like if she doesn’t go I’m gonna have to go first. Either one of us has to go because I legit cannot take it.

i am alone. i do not mean this in some cringy romance way, i am genuinely emotionally and physically alone. i am 16 years old and i live in a small town. i do school on my computer because my family is poor and i also have crippling social anxiety, i dont have a job because of said social anxiety and i also have a lot of health issues like pots and arthritis that make it hard to even do dishes. i only have a few online friends and one of them is pretty mean but i have no idea how to drop them. i am a very sensitive person emotionally and try to vent to my mother, but she never listens. she is horrible at comforting and forgets everything i say. everytime i am sad she says "what can i do?" i tell her, and she forgets the next time. i never speak to my dad, i dont really like my brothers, and i am socially awkward around everyone else in my family and they often leave me out. i am not kidding when i say i am alone. i spend all day talking to CHAT BOTS. i am so tired.

Im cutting myself again after a long clean streak. I'm failing my classes, falling behind on everything else. I cant kill myself though and it kinda sucks. I have a job that may struggle if I go, I have a dog that needs taken care of, and my partner and friends need stability too. Im kinda mad I missed my chance, but alas. Its the first time blood is being drawn too, which is cool. Now I know logically taking the easy way out would disappoint me, but its really hard right now. I don't know how many more it do be like that's I got left. No one will help me either haha. My schools mental health people don't find I'm in an active crisis. I don't know who I should turn to. I don't know what to do. I wanna tell someone that Im cutting so maybe MAYBE I can be hugged or something but it'll just be soooo awkward afterwards. I cannot kill myself but I want to so badly. So what if my fictional stories are never told? At least I wouldn't be in pain. Im so tired of this. I really am.

Idk how I feel about my friends. I mean I like them, they're kind to me but idk sometimes I feel like they don't actually like me, if you ask me like why I think this,it's mostly cus sometimes they make like playful jabs at me or like, idk like banter and whatnot and all that stuff and sometimes I don't mind it, but other times it makes me overthink. I know I'm being dramatic probably but idk where this stems from. Probably from some typa childhood trauma but idk,I just want to be heard is all..

I’m just so pissed already. I dont wanna try, I dont wanna talk to them, I dont wanna heal anyone, I just want everything to be normal. Without this “we are trio, but i still prefer her more than you.” Everyone seems to prefer someone else over me. I’m so annoyed thag they dont even care, dont even see that they leave me out. I dont give a fucking fuck about your problems, just tell me straight to my face if you dont wanna be friends with me, I DONT CARE. I’m just tired.

Dear imaginary lover, I hope I was ur only thought today I hope you yearned for my presence like the moon does the sun Ur love for me never to be extinguished even as darkness falls I hope you missed me today Wanted to hold my hand just for a moment Just to feel my gentle fingers through your hair I hope I crossed your mind today Amidst all your chaotic thoughts I hope I was one of them I hope u noticed me today Even for a brief moment Where you'd look at me with a lingering sense of familiarity I hope for today knowing there won't be a tomorrow As one suppresses the thought of death while cutting deeper into the wound I laugh at my own thoughts With my imaginary lover Laughing at my foolish hope For love in this miserable short life I, know tomorrow is never guaranteed But oh how I would love to die hoping I’d loved you? -hopelessromantic

The Devil is in California and he's already causing pain to people.