All Rants

Life is just a game, u may lose knowing that people will tell you that u failed at getting the job done. Then if u win they will hate you for winning because they wanted to win instead of you but if u throw in the towel they call you weak . SO WHATS THE POINT OF PLAYING

There are so many confessions of suicideality on here I want to scream. I want to reach out to all of them but can't... if you are feeling things are too heavy please reach out to talk to someone! There are people who care out here even if they have never met you and will never ever know you! Call -> 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in US & Canada. International lifeline lookup directory -> findahelpline (with the usual ending for websites)

i dont care what any of you say no matter what happens or when you all got this and all matter even when we have our hard days

nothing that i do will ever be enough for them, and thats the smallest problem, im tired of the constamt yelling and banging and loud noises, living in fear of being hurt or one of them getting hurt or just committing suicide. i wish for someone calm, gentle and softspoken in my life, and a new place away from this. thats all i want.

I, am in a school relationship. I like this one girl that i feel is too out my league and is going to heartbreak me. I mean, shes pretty, and she does see me as handsome but i cant see it. And just yesterday she told me “i gotta do smt about my Honers Roll Society” which i wqs .02 FRIXKING POINTS AWAY FROM MAKING IT. is brings me down, shes smarter than me. may not seem that big of a deal, but i pressure myself, i have been this whole school year. and when she came, i thought it was gonna be good. it is but i feel, unloved. first 2 quarters i made “principals list” or whatever. and when i got the “honers roll” which is a level down, i thought i was stupid. I wanted to rip the certificate, keep it hidden, so i didnt get ashamed. and then later, she made the top tiwr 4 classes, all teachers loved her, she was amazing. and i, was an average no speaking introvert. it feels, odd. and het, shes smart in, everything! and i, only mathematics and astronomy. but im not sure how she can love me

Years ago, my marriage became sexless and distant. My wife’s chronic mental health issues and medications played a big part, while I was diagnosed with depression from work and caregiving. I started cheating before I was diagnosed. At first, I told myself paying prostitutes made it somehow “less bad”, that I just needed sex. I was lying to myself. I wanted sex, but what I really craved was emotional connection. I wanted to feel wanted instead of needed. Eventually, some prostitutes became unpaid sex friends, then other women too. Recently, my wife’s health improved, and somehow we’re reconciling. We even had sex again. I don’t deserve this. Looking back makes me cry. I hate the man I became, the man I promised I’d never become. I’ll never tell her. I know it's cowardly, but telling her would only ease my guilt by devastating her. She has also confided that if I died or left, she would end it, making telling her dangerous. I wish I’d become a better man before becoming this one.

Years ago, my marriage became sexless and distant. My wife’s chronic mental health issues and medications played a big part, while I was diagnosed with depression from work and caregiving. I started cheating before I was diagnosed. At first, I told myself paying prostitutes made it somehow “less bad”, that I just needed sex. I was lying to myself. I wanted sex, but what I really craved was emotional connection. I wanted to feel wanted instead of needed. Eventually, some prostitutes became unpaid sex friends, then other women too. Recently, my wife’s health improved, and somehow we’re reconciling. We even had sex again. I don’t deserve this. Looking back makes me cry. I hate the man I became, the man I promised I’d never become. I’ll never tell her. I know it's cowardly, but telling her would only ease my guilt by devastating her. She has also confided that if I died or left, she would end it, making telling her dangerous. I wish I’d become a better man before becoming this one.

i am so tired of expecting from this person, to him i am invisible and i think a part of me wants to be but the issue is that another part of expects that my work will be valued here because the work that i do is not for him, it is actually coming from a place of passion and love in my heart. i dont even want to present it to him because he isnt worth seeing my effort that fkn asshole i wish he wasnt in my life

I went into depression at around 12 year old, I don't know when and how'd it went wrong, I keep asking myself if maybe I'm just being dramatic. I'm 20 year old now and I still keep falling back into depression every now and then. It's hard living my daily life I can barely speak to people, getting out of bed is getting hard, just being in the crowd is hard. Idk how and when will I get better, i thought I was getting better but it's useless

Dunno why people think it's sad when someone stays in their hometown and settles down with someone from their high school. Some parts of hometown are absolutely beautiful and so are some of the guys who went to my school. I walk 15 minutes through a beautiful park and the woods that I've walked through every year of my life since I could walk, and then through a beautiful field, and then there's my man, a gorgeous man who not only went to my high school but also my primary school. How is that sad? I love it. In the olden days that's what most people did

I genuinely cannot believe I’m back here again. I’ve been job searching for YEARS. Countless applications, interviews, rejections, ghosting, résumé edits—you name it. Then, I got MULTIPLE offers at once. I finally had options. I chose the one I felt was best and turned down the others. Then, just before I was supposed to start, they rescinded the offer. Just like that, no job. I went back to the other companies to see if I could take their offers, only to find they had already hired someone else. So now I’m back to square one. AGAIN. The part that makes me so angry is that I did everything right. I made a reasonable decision based on the offers I had, only to have the one I chose pull the rug out from under me at the last second. After YEARS of grinding, I finally thought I was getting a break. Instead, I’m right back where I started, updating my résumé and sending applications into the void. I’m exhausted. I’m pissed. And honestly, I’m so damn tired of having to start over.

I can't live like this anymore. I want to k!ll myself but I can't. I can't stand anymore lies, family issues, and yelling. Will I ever be happy?

Let somebody stomp your fucking ceiling. At 5 ,6, 7am. See how you like it. I know they know better they just don't care. Wtf is wrong with people!?!?!?

Why does my fam not care if I get jumped out of bed by disrespectful crappy karen neighbors? If something affects them then they get mad or triggered. But their attitude is eh whatever when I tell them what I go through. IDK why tf they sleep above me for. Pisses me tf off royally I can only take so much of that shit. And I know the Karen doesn't work hard or they wouldn't wear office clothes. That's nothing comparable to manual labor. But they still act like a babyfied entitled pig snitching karen. Like that fat woman in the slim shady video, that puts me in mind of her. And ofc they pass their behavior like it's acceptable on to their kids. Bitches. They all suck as neighbors tbh. Probably the worst I can ever remember having. It's all a bunch of fucking bullshit. Those are my feelings. I'm not a bad person and can get along with near anybody if they're respectful back. These people are an exception though. Plus I'm sleep deprived so that doesn't help either. Sigh.

me so eepy gn sayonara khuda hafiz bye

Literally fuck the US tax system. I've tried for 4 months to get clarity and assistance on a tax issue. (we purchased a house from an alien, and in my state that requires the purchaser to ensure that some tax money was withheld and submitted to the IRS from the seller). Stupidest fucking rule. Regardless the money was withheld and sent, but the IRS applied it to the sellers and not us. SO they thing we owe them a lot of money. Everyone I talk to on the phone treats me like I'm an idiot, they can't find the account, they don't know what I'm talking about, or I get hung up on. So fuck the IRS, fuck the US tax system. Fuck the government for gutting the IRS so that I can't get in touch with anyone that knows WTF they're doing.

My mum is so fucking annoying and not worthy of being a fucking mother. First of all 10 minutes ago she threw a FUCKING PHONE at me just because I fucking shouted at her to release the bed sheets when I was fitting a blanket into one and she unplugged my phone and threw it at my chest. It now hurts. She accused of faking it because I was crying and moaning in pain. She beats me and verbally abused me.

My mind is seeing everyone as a threat today. I don't know why. The bus driver was lovely. The waiters were lovely. The uber driver was lovely. The pharmacists were lovely. Yet I'm still expecting adults to just start yelling at me like they did when I was a child and did something I didn't know was wrong (or wasn't even wrong, just not neurotypical). Or talk down to me and berate me like they did when I was a teenager. But now I'm an adult, other adults actually treat me with respect. And I'm glad. But why couldn't people have done that when I was younger? I was a kid, I didn't know any better, yet I was held to much higher standards than I am now.

I am in love with my best friend. They are male. So am I. They are straight and I am gay. It will never happen. I will never tell them. But I hope.i still have hope. I shouldn't hope. But me amd him are so close and we are at the point of friends where I fan casually touch hus head and shoulders and it will be normal. I wish I could just be alone with him. And have the courage to confess my love. But I won't. I never will. I know I'm a coward. And I know I used to have a perfect life but it all got ripped to shreds. I'm impressed that I'm alive. That I haven't freezed it all and turned it off like a TV channel. I don't understand. If my life were a building, it would be a crumbling skyscraper. Hanging on by the merest. I feel that I am falling. Sinking into abyss of my sadness. I miss being a child. No worries. I had friends. I had it all. But then I began stress eating after a traumatic event. Then my mother got sick. Then my father left. Then my old best friend left. I say no more.

Its funny how on reality TV shows when someone has a panic attack, they take it so seriously and get all the medics on and everyone is freaking out. When I have a panic attack, everyone just tuts and sighs and goes "oh for God's sake". I guess that dont make good TV though