All Rants

i lost the man i love. it was me who walked away and i really thought i was doing the right think but now he's not mine anymore. i guess this part of me always thought i could have him for myself... he loved me a lot, i know that. we were in a relationship and i was the one who ended things, it was me who walked away so why does it still hurt so darn much? that girls looks so sweet that i cant even bring myself to hate her. i love him, i love him so fucking much but i have to pretend to be happy for him. i thought it wouldnt work out cuz he is from a diff religion but honestly rn i dont give a fuck- all i can think of is him and everyday i yearn for him. i love him like he painted the sky blue- without him i cant fucking BREATHE, all of me yearns for him. i will never be able to love someone the way i loved him. everything fucking hurts. i miss him, i miss him so fucking much. but hes not mine anymore... he'll always be my first priority, now it seems like i dont even matter to him...

I'm weak, a big disappoinment, to my family, my wife, my daughter. MY SELF. I'm a big mistake I'm angry I'm sad I'm tired.

Everybody leaves, the saddest and hardest part, your own blood relative. When everything is going well for them, and he offered you support, but then dropped you off.

Why? You wanted to believe, yet it feels like nothing is unfolding. They said he has a plan, plan on what? Keeping my faith, keep on beleiving, but nothing changes. I know I done a lot of unappropriate things, hatred included. But I feel heavy, so I wanted to move on. Start over they say, nothing is too late they say. Maybe its easy for them because they have all the means that they need to start. How about those who don't?

How is the owner of the cesspool Belfast Breakfast Baps, ok to abuse and critical of others but when it comes to others who criticise him, he becomes weak. In short can dish it out, but can't take it sob sob

i am frustrated onon my parents because of their continues.. fights ...i mean why not geta divorce...they don't even know hiw much its affecting their children..they are just too selfish to even think about it.... urgh i am so frustrated that i don't know hiw to calm myself...i don't have friends, family members or anyone that i can talk about..

i am frustrated on my parents continues fight

The Australian Labor Government massive changes to The NDIS without consulting with the Disabled Community especially organisations, rather than go after mining industry with increased taxes is clear evidence The Labor Government don't care for the disabled and have no Empathy for them and are controlled by the mining industry.

My literature teacher has been a pain up my arse since day 1, she caught some email thing between me and my friend and it was my friend saying a swear word which yeah looks bad but she exploded the situation into something 10x what it needed to be. Now she assigned work and told us to submit it to our lit reps so I did what she asked then today I checked my class announcements and she wrote that only one person which wasn’t me had submitted the work and I felt extremely angered because I did the work and I did what she asked so not only did I feel wronged I genuinely feel like I’ve never hated a teacher more than I hate her in this moment. They are supposed to be educators and not some useless garbage like she is.

Okay so I have this friend I gonna call her Kari (ain't her actual name) she has been my friend for 3 years but I starting to see a pattern that everytime anything good happens she threats to harm herself among other things and it starting to take affects on my other relationships I don't know what to do....

What's something you have to deal with regularly that nobody else seems to understand? No one understands how hard it is to be a caregiver. Putting your life on hold, growing older as each day and year passes. Never feeling good enough and always having to deal with stress, anxiety, and depression, no one understands. I feel like I'm on autopilot 24/ 7. The same things happen over and over again. My life is a mess and I just wish I had someone I could cry and laugh with.

I'm so tired of feeling alone. Dating sites don't work. My friends both RL and online are happy, why can't I be? What's wrong with me? Why am I so messed up? Why can't I be the one someone loves and adores? Am I so behind in life that I'm going to be alone forever?

i sometimes think to disappear so that all of the stress, problems and hatred to self will be gone.

Why I am not good at socializing? Why I am Introvert and so shy? Why I am so scared to speak for myself? Why I am not good at communicating? Why I am so dumb? Why can't I just stop over thinking and just be happy? Why I am me?

i feel so stressed i have abusive parents my mom mostly have been abusing me since i was rlly little it started with words and discipline and then physically shed beat me when i turned like 8 or 9 i started to explore my body and i was reallly curious about it id watch porn and explicit videos and my parents later found out about it they yelled and mentally abused and hurt me my parents beat me with hangers, wires, charging ports, wooden spoons, and js anything they have at the moment it rlly does hurt because i cant escape; my family are rich and i have other family members that abuse theyre children too i couldnt go to them if i wanted to i hate my "african househould" when they think abuse is justified and js discipline i never get to do anything my parents treat my siblings better. this has been going on for so long i jsut wanna die and cry ic ut myself and im scared of reporting anyhting because my mom is pregnant and i rlly js dont wanna go into a bad foster home :(

I can’t open up to people about things whatsoever unless I’m in certainty that they will understand. I had interests I trusted people to know, shows I liked, music I liked, but I can’t share anything anymore. Even in my own family. If I say that I like something people give me weird looks. My family asks why I’m not going to tell them with open arms certain things and then proceed to give me an "euuggghhh.. okay.." look when it isn’t something they’ve heard of. When I’m being creative for myself I don’t share because I’ll be forced to explain every crevice of the piece, and after that eternally judged. I’ve been attacked for my interests so many times by so many people when they’re just normal. My heart and interests and desires are things that take work to dig at, even with those I’m close to. Even if I loved a person with all of my heart and were ready to be as vulnerable as I could with them I don’t know if I could open up about things. I’m too sensitive.

I feel like I’m about to snap. I’m a student athlete and I’ve been hiding how bad my mental health is for months from my therapists, teachers, and everyone. At the start of softball season I was outgoing and high energy, but now I’m just a shell. I’m underperforming on the field and everyone is noticing. My coach called my mom because she was worried about me being gloomy. I panicked and texted my coach saying I was fine. I am 100% NOT ok. I feel like a liar and now I feel like it’s too late to tell the truth because I doubled down I’m in a dark place and have thoughts about ending it, but terrified to say that because I’m a minor and scared of reporting. I don't want my mom to think less of me or look at me like I’m bad. Im so done with pretending. I just needed to put this somewhere because I’m at a breaking point and feel like I’m losing my mind. like i honestly just need some good advice on what to tell my coach i need her help and ive lowk almost reached my breaking point pls.

I feel everything and nothing at all. Maybe that's the BPD, that's most definitely the bpd. Lately it's been less euphoria and more major depressive states. I relapsed in self-harm, regrettably. I have never been this close to ending everything, but I don't know if a part of me is just scared or if it is really the rational part of me refusing to be a part of a statistic. I'm chronically and mentally ill, no cure for anything. Just hope, hope that I have very little of. My 19th is coming up and I'm terrified, terrified because never once did I ever think I would make it. Birthdays are just a reminder that I grow older but my issues persist. I have no one I can fully trust, the one person I did trust with my life is gone. Not physically, but they're not here in the same way they were. My fault.

I hurt my back in February. The medical system is so flipping slow. I tried everything to avoid surgery, but surgery is the route that I need. I am off work until then. My surgeon said 2-3 weeks- his scheduler said June. Wtf. Trying to get them to fill out the paperwork so I get paid until then is ridiculous. Like pulling teeth. I'm bored just sitting at home watching tv and sleeping on the couch. The bed hurts too much for my back. It hurts my knees to walk. Im at my wits end. Friends don't call and check on me. My dad and brother are both POS'S. I honestly don't see anything I've done and would gladly fix anything I have done. My husband is amazing, but he has to work and take up my slack, so he's exhausted at the end of the day... I just feel so alone and sad.

I’m feeling quite down about my friendships lately. They’re already so few, but I feel so disconnected from my friends lately. I know people are busy and have their own things going on so I try to check in and be available, but sometimes I feel like it’s all pointless. Why put in effort or worry so much when the other people won’t even care a fraction as much? People can do whatever they want with their time, especially if I know they want to relax, but it just… makes me a little sad when I see a friend commenting stuff all over social media but they can’t be bothered to text me back until days later. I don’t even bother texting them about stuff I usually would anymore because I know they won’t get back to me very quickly. But they have time to be chatting with people in streams and other sites? Idk. I’d never complain about this to them bc it just makes me seem unreasonable and whiny. But yeah, just a bit sad about how alone I am right now.