All Rants

I miss him... I confessed to my crush a few weeks ago. I had never confessed to any of my crushes before because I never felt co fident to talk to my precious crushes. But this guy... he was different. The first moment I saw him, it was love at first sight. And there was a lot of seats in the room and he decided to sit next to me. I remeber it all... I remeber our first moments, I remember me and him exchanging sticky notes across the class... I remeber adding him on snap and we were texting from midnight till the next day... and next year, he is going to be gone because he is moving away. I confessed to him while we were on call since we already called a lot... and...and he said he doesnt want a relationship because he is scared of love. I know he likes me too but ...it just hurts. It really hurts. It hurts more because we still text as if we are just friends eventhough lately he isnt texting as much...but I am never seeing him again.... since he is moving..

So a few weeks ago I confessed to my friend. I didn't hear what he replied with but we were on call and he mentioned he didn't want any relationship nor family because his parents love life is shit and me and him are similar to his parents love life. I couldn't help but be sad but I wasn't surprised because I am... ugly after all and no boy would ever like me like that anyways. I wish I was pretty. I really miss him. We haven't talked much and he is literally my life... my friends are fine I guess but its just different with him. I love my friends too but a boy I like..thats different. I miss him..I really miss him.. he said I was a really good friend and he opened up about things he told no one about so I guess Ill have to appreciate that. But I really did love you.

I wish I was pretty...or smart. I am just painfully average. Theres truly nothing about me that stands out at all. Meanwhile my friends, theya re either pretty, or smart or got both. I tried being smart- I dont think I am built for it eventhough people tell me I got the brain but I don't use it to full potential. Well I cant...I think too negative about myself.

my now girlfriend is genderfluid and idk why it bothers me bc i’m nonbinary but i just want my sweet boy i feel horrible for feeling this way but idk

I am really stressed... I am a lazy piece of shit and not to mention that I got a really important time of my life and I have to focus and study but I can't. I was so used to being naturally smart that now it doesn't work anymore. And I want to be a doctor and I have to do this stupid UCAT in 2 weeks is my exams and I am cooked... I am scared. Not to mention I don't even have the same level of experience as the other try hards who wants to do medicine. They got hospital and shit and I literally got nothing... haha I dont know what to do with my life. I am stressed. I cant do this anymore. I want to disappear but I am the only sibling my parents are relying on. I got no one I can depend on... No one seems like they want to help me. If I ask they tell me to try harder like they are doing. Well I am trying but it isnt working. My negative mindset keeps pulling me back...

It kinda pmo how some people have NO sense of urgency??? I’m quite the opposite like I rush tons of shit okay?? I haven’t gone school shopping yet and I already know my moms gonna take me super late like I still remember she took me school shopping 1 day before school started and I didn’t get any good clothes or decent backpack✌️✌️ it was a fucking mess and I CANNOT have that this year PLSS

The more I learn about my new friends and their opinions, the more I'm starting to dislike them as people. An irl friend showed me their account on some social media platforms and I decided to check it out myself in my own time to get to know them a bit better and have more to talk about, but it seems they're a completely different person online from who I imagined them to be. They're so much worse and support hateful opinions. They throw around slurs, insults and regularly send death threats to people who don't agree with their opinions. I want to drop them but then I would lose all my other friends, who have known him for longer than they've known me. It's so much harder for me because I don't have any other irl friends, so losing them would mean no more going out, but I'm also conflicted because I've began to not really like the rest of the friend group now for just letting him be and talk this way when he's literally hating on their communities and they just don't care.

I feel like an insecure teenager for ranting about this. My mother is strict and makes me feel like my body isn’t perfect. She tries so, so hard. She loves to tell me about how beautiful my body is but the MOMENT I try on anything other than a t shirt and mid calf shorts, she tells me I look inappropriate and too skimpy. Not to say it would be different, but I’m a petite girl. I don’t even have anything to show off. I just feel like she’s trying to force how she was raised upon me, even when it’s insanely outdated. She just isn’t convinced that school isn’t a “skirt, sweater, and flats” type of thing any more.

Idk why I always met some lustful guys. it made me question my worth and ask myself like; Is that the only way people can appreciate me? notice? or even like me?—even though I'm not an attractive person, nor sexy. they always come in my life and ask such inappropriate questions and orders. am I the problem?

I genuinely don't think I can ever love anyone ever. I don't feel anything towards anyone. It's strange, whenever someone tells me they love me, but I just can't bring myself to say it back. I don't feel anything towards them. Just pure, neutral emptiness. I don't know. I have never loved anyone. Not my parents, not my friends, not anyone I've ever met, I know I can hate people, that's for sure, but I don't exactly hate everyone I know. It's just pure emptiness I feel towards them. I don't feel angry at them, but at the same time, I don't feel grateful or happy for having them by my side. I know I would feel just the same without them, but like I'm fine with them being around me. For example, my parents haven't wronged me at all, I feel like, they are pretty loving and caring, but I don't feel anything towards them. It's just strange, aren't you supposed to love the people who's existence you tolerate?

Sometimes I think to myself that I want to put on my shoes walk outside my door and go to a busy street and just jump into the middle of the road. My mind keeps rushing and I just I’m tired I’m tired of the life I have the frustration in my mind I feel and honestly feel that the world is against me I feel like I was something so terrible in my past life so this life is my punishment.

i wasted my teenage years with addictions. i'm 18 and relapsed again with my ED and i just don't know what to do. i don't want help and i don't know why because no matter what, restriction or overeating, i'm ruining my body. i've been doing so good in recovery and i can't take the physical chronic issues that come with this disorder. it's so embarrassing to admit since i'm an adult that i feel like i have to starve myself. i feel so weak and embarrassed to the point where i wanna take drugs again too. i hate self loathing but i feel like i'll always be stuck in this loop

Genuinely my head has been hurting so much recently it isn't even funny. Sometimes I just want to take a metal straw or a chopstick and give myself a lobotomy to stop the pain.

I desperately need people to commission me to get out of my toxic household, I'm 19 and can't take it anymore. They won't allow me to go anywhere or do anything and let's just say my dad is NOT the nicest. Please consider checking my commissions out the most expensive is like $45 for a full body and fully rendered piece! @partypoobie on insta!

You know I just feel so alone and trying to break free from all these people I don’t want to be around. They love me, it I just don’t want you in my life. For example friends, teachers, that say even after we just graduated that they aren’t “going anywhere” and that irks me a bit because when you graduate high school it’s supposed to be like flipping a new page but I feel I can’t move on with these people still on my life, as an avoidant I just can’t, deal with people constantly messaging me all the time asking random things while I’m t try ing hard to distance myself without getting their feelings hurt. But I guess if I don’t text back what they want to hear they get mad about that too, it’s honestly sad. I don’t know why I always want to be alone I care a lot about others but I just want to be alone you know. But then again I choose to be alone cause I feel like the whole world hates me for idk what maybe cause I’m not the best looking but honesty I don’t know what to do anymore

Stumbled across a tumblr alt that you accidentally sent some posts to me from. I ignored it the first couple times cause I thought it was a mistake, this past week you sent another post by mistake from it. I looked and realized this was your diary. And then i ended up reading all of it. Over a decade of things you never said, my own mistakes , and of others . Now i have no idea what to do . Do i tell you, do i keep it inside and just try to do better. I left work about to burst and wanted to talk to someome and realized I dont have anyone to tell this, I have friends but not the kind whod listen to me and not anyone that id risk your own privacy to tell. I am dying inside now, im hopeless and Its not your fault, but do i come clean because thisll hurt you. You shouldve told me some of this but I get why. Im a mess

13 days clean but I'm not doing so good :(. People are ganging up on me in a group chat for unfriending the owner and the group means a lot.

My best friend just killed himself. And i dont even feel sadness..I stopped caring of myself ever since i got dumped by my gf, doing sh and shit. I want to cry I cant Please just kill me WisherX.dragons on YT

I hate myself. Seriously, i want to die. If someone know a hitman, text me on discord, let them kill me.

Hey, so I could really use some advice. In 3 days, I'm starting 7th grade (yes I KNOW I'm young.) in a completely new building. I'm pretty freaked out because it's much bigger than the building I was in for 6th grade, and I'll have a lot more classes. Also, literally everyone on TikTok and YouTube says that 7th grade is the worst year (I know not to trust social media platforms, but I've seen A LOT of people with this opinion). I've never really struggled academically, except for math. I have a solid friend group, but it seems like they're slowly pushing me away. If anyone has tips on navigating classes, remembering assignments, keeping my grades up, and making new friends, please let me know. It would really help me a lot.