All Rants

I been hypersexual since I was very young like since I was like 4 or 5 year old and I have no idea why I always felt disgusted with myself I never wanted to be this and I have no idea why I'm like why I'm so wrong

She’s at it again, her anger slamming and hitting things, she slammed down a glass bottle on the glass stove. I just heard her slam one of the doors upstairs. I hate when she gets like this, my body just locks up. My brain goes into this service mode, I just have to do or say anything that’ll not make her yell at me as she anger tells me she’s sorry, that she’s bothering me with this annoyance undertone. I just have to survive the next week give up any form of needs or wants back to square one, but at this point if I want or need something I’ll just wait for another commission to get it even if I gotta wait a couple months

I feel used by own best friend

I just really miss my friends and I don't think they even care about my exitied anymore I feel so alone and abdomed

Fam. How about asking me what's going on why I feel the way I do instead of blurting out opinions of me? I have a flood gate of reasons I feel the way I do fyi. Are you even a human being? If something don't affect you it's eh whatever. So don't judge what you have no clue about.

i miss my friends but i'm so scared to talk to them again even though i'm the one who ghosted them

i think it is just me but i don't really like listening to any christmas songs. it makes me sad when i hear them.

so im genuinely so fucking stupid. i was planning on kms after my bsf birthday, which is the 26th of november. GUESS WHAT DAY THAT IS THAT I DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK? thanksgiving. and ill be at my grandparents. so now i need to pick a day after that would seem fine if i told my mom i was going out for a walk. yippee. we love poor planning.

When I was a kid my father slapped my mother for the first and last time. Me and my siblings were always hit as children. But after my mother got hit I think it is then that my fear of him truly solidifed. Me and my siblings were then hit afterwards for no reason (he was in a bad mood). That night was a big mess. My mother decided to sleep in the room I shared with my sister. My father, assuming she was sleeping in the room that they shared together, slept downstairs. I was only 9 and being the anxious child that I was, at this rate I was fully prepared for my father to come up the stairs and kill us all. I felt very sick. I hadn't felt the worst of it until my mother, giving me his pillow, instructed me to go downstairs and give it to him (you'd think she would be angry at him. I'd have had a much better life if she cared enough about us to feel that way). I was shaking, telling her I didn't want to. She said, why are you scared, it's only your father. I'll forever hate them.

Fan had the audacity to accuse me of being mad at the world. They don't have an effing clue of things what I deal with. One example is them getting drunk and being raging aggressive then magically have "no memory" of it once it's over. You try to tell them they put us through hell all they do is say "probably did". No what did I do? or even an apology for how they acted. AND YOU HAVE FUCKING AUDACITY TO SAY IM MAD AT THE WORLD!??!!!. No. I'm sick of the bullshit of people around me and various situations and the toxicity that the living environment in our house has become. But I guess that's hard to comprehend from a drunk huh? I'm sick of how they come to me want to use me then try to play me with mind manipulation and gaslighting to give them stuff like a narcissist. You don't a fucking clue yet you blurt out opinions. They don't remember but on a drunk they blurted out they hope this whole effing building burns down. So who's the one mad at the world now, huh? U got no clue.

I can't do it anymore I can't take another friend group falling apart from behind my back and forcing me to pick sides It's too much I feel like I'm never gonna have real friends

im supposed to move out to a smaller house but the comfort of my room is one of the only few things keeping me sane i don't think i can live anymore

I feel so behind in life I have a lot of stress people fat shame me I didn’t complete my high school and I’m also finding jobs NURSERY jobs and I’m not getting any NURSERY jobs and also I could do a café job, but my parents don’t allow that and my siblings. Also, nobody ask if I’m alive or not and I don’t have true friends. I have trust issues and I think about what still kind of what people think about me but I’m getting over it. What time but still it’s with me and I feel so lonely and unloved. I see other people getting married loved being happy. I don’t feel jealous. I just feel like when me because since I was a kid, I felt like I was unlovable. I was the fat kid basically I didn’t weight loss in my like preteens but still, then I gained like mid teens and late teens because of stress

I'm fictoromantic, or fictosexual, or a yumeshipper/selfshipper- whatever term you feel like using, I guess. It's something I tend to keep to myself in most online spaces, because people have all kinds of thoughts about it. Some people will probably say calling it a sexuality is minimizing, but I don't know how else to describe it. I've NEVER been romantically or sexually interested in real people, and the thought of getting married to a real person actually makes me feel a sort of sinking dread. But, for three specific fictional characters, I feel very real, very longstanding, and occasionally very intense romantic feelings for them. For two of them, they're from the same game (Hi-fi Rush) and I'm pretty active in the fandom, though it's small. And I do my best to keep my personal emotions separate from the way I talk to fellow fans about it, because I know how it'll sound, and explaining myself gets exhausting. But at the same time, I'm just so tired of performing normalcy lately.

I want to bite this bitch for whispering. I hate her. She keeps whispering and she keeps getting close to me. I hate people who are ugly and then they get close to me. She is ugly as fuck and she gets close and she is whispering. Stupid bitch. I hate people because they touch me without asking. I hate people. I have a sleep disorder and in the past, Michael Ulrich just shoved me and I hated him and he was mean to me because I was frozen. I have narcolepsy type 1 with cataplexy. I didn't like him. I don't love any human being. I love myself more than others. I tried to report his behavior to HR but people were against me and victim blamed me. But he didn't have to do that. That's abusive and sick and he's one of the reasons I hate men. I hate men because they go out of their way to harrass me and ruin my reputation because I say no way about men or guys. I also hate Doba because she just wanted me to stay to bully me. Then my parents were on here side.

This ugly bitch, omfg, she needs to shut her mouth, I say this because she says she is assigned to me and it's really creepy. She isn't normal. This other thing she says is she says she is an angel. It is weird because she says she as an angel, ok. That is delusional, she is not an angel because she bothers me. There's no such thing as angels. She is mental. I hate her. I feel bad for her because she has lost touch with reality. Then people online attack me for what I am saying. If I say God, Jesus and or angels aren't real. They attack me and then claim it's helping. WTF?!? Forcing me to believe in angels because they say it is sick. These people say just because it isn't real to me doesn't mean it isn't real. I am like WTF. Go fuck yourself. That's why I hate humans because they try to trick me. It makes me feel they are trying to brainwash me. I'm not their bitch or slave to control. People are evil and sick in the head for harassing me and trying to convince me.

I wish i was born Japanese, i wish my dad was Japanese and busted his Japanese sperm into my mom and made me Japanese. So i could life in Japan and make manga.

This person keeps whispering around me and she won't stop and she won't leave me alone and she keeps saying this weird as shit. She keeps saying she has been assigned to me and she hasn't. I hate her and she is ugly and stupid. She is creepy because she keeps whispering. She keeps bothering me and she keeps trying to control me. I can't stand her. Please help. She is abusive and she sounds like she is being inappropriate and sexual and she is really ugly and fat. I can't stand her. She says she watches me when I sleep and that's normal. She keeps saying there's nothing I can do about it because she is abusive and sick on the head.

man I shouldn't feel anxious about going in especially with the other manager being there but I feel like he's going to pick me apart in every way or find something that we missed yesterday despite doing everything right + me detailing some stuff. I shouldn't feel anxious about heading to work or feel sick to my stomach but here I am :/

No job seems viable. The only one I would enjoy would be acting, which is a famously terrible choice if you value any kind of stability. I might just kirk myself at some point because I can't just be miserable for a third of my life, half of my waking life.