All Rants

So, I’m 25, I have had a very rough… life. Betrayals from every friend I made, I also felt it was my fault, but my therapist and others just look at me and go “it wasn’t your fault”. Last year I got into a car accident, and thought nothing happened and I was untouched. This year I found out I was wrong. I started having intense abdominal pain, found out I got two things from the car accident. Fat Necrosis, and… an paradudenal hernia. 12 inches of colon were out of place. I had laparoscopic surgery, and by chance they found it. I was told I would have died if it wasn’t taken care of. My mother was there for me for like a week. When I was in the ER before the surgery, she and my father stayed 2 days, left a day after for my younger sister’s graduation in another state. I know she’s important, but I feel like they see her as more than me. Honesty they see everyone and everything as more than me. They leave without warning even when I’m in pain. I have to take care of everything. No choice

Of course the one guy in the new friend group that I really vibed with, who was there for me after my father died (the only other person in the group I told that information to), the only one I texted regularly, decides to drop me along with everyone else and told me not to message him again. No explanation, no closure, just poof bye out of my life. I hate this shit. 5 years isolating myself and one of the only people I'd consider a new bro just writes me out of his story. Fuck me.

I feel really depressed playing games and just being in fandom spaces in general. There is actually nowhere I can go to avoid people being racists towards me for existing. There is genuinely nothing enjoyable about being alive. This is so unfair.

People are so ableist. I just don’t get it. What even brings someone to want to laugh and joke about a disabled person. Especially a child. You are not a human to me. People should be ashamed to act this way.

So , yesterday you were very happy i know you were and its happy to see you happy. I like the fact that you Noticed i am not very good in my mood and you were trying to talk to me cuz obviously you can read me as much as i can read you. Even the fact that when i finish you were the first person who saw me and waved me byebye and you also know that i was looking at you and then you waved me byebye as well haha. It was very loving . I know you dont care and I know but I dont know why I have feelings for you: I know you dont care about me but i do care about you. Take care mr rudest bossy pants. Miss you alot.

im a kid. I’m ten. People say I’m too young too have problems but NO. I get bullied, left out and get called “annoying”, “fat” & “stupid”. I DID sh but I stopped because of my bff and she’s all the way in Oceania and I’m in Asia. I can’t even tell her “see you tmr!” because of that. I used to scratch, pick at my nails but she made me feel like a person. I’ve thought abt the world being better off without me but she stopped me without knowing.

Recently I've tried my best to be there for all of those that I consider my friends whilst they're struggling. I've even had 1 stay with me for around 2 months because their fiancé died, and I was travelling between their home, my home and work everyday to make sure their animals were cared for, while trying to maintain my own life. Now, 4 months to the day of the death of their fiancé, here I am trying to find a reason to not kill myself, and they could not even be bothered to answer the phone to me because they were busy getting laid. As that has been the new routine for them for the last couple months. I don't get to see anyone. I don't know anyone. No one cares whether I live or breathe unless they get something out of it. Telling anyone that the way they are treating me is wrong and unfair gets me no where, other than being guilt tripped and manipulated into saying everything is fine. Why am I so unimportant to people. I just want to be enough. I don't want to be here.

Im 16 rn and I live in a very small village my school is about 30km away and there are no busses, my siblings live in one of the biggest city in the country so my idea is to move away to live with one of them cuz when I graduate school my plan is to go to college in that city anyways so i would get to know the city better and meet people but im probably getting license in few months so now the main reason why I should move away is gone but I still want to get out of this hole atp its sad to leave my bsf but im doing this for my own future, I dont know what to do

I moved out of my hometown to be with someone and in return they secluded me from all of my friends and family. I had no one which made it tough when we split up. I struggle with the day to day dealings with my depression, wondering if im always over reacting because whenever something happens thats all people say, that i am overreacting. I do my hardest to be there for everyone when they're struggling but even when i reach out, im left by myself. my closest friend ditched me through my own birthday for a booty call. Usually when I tell people I'm not okay, they think I am either making a joke, or not that bad. Or they believe telling me about 'all the things I have to live for' is going to cure me and not make me feel unrelenting guilt and shame about feeling the way I do. I can't help feeling the way that I do. i don't want to be here anymore, but when i tell anyone that i'm 'dramatic' and that ill be fine if i just go and have a nap, or take more meds. kill me

I am so desperate to find a point in it all. I have aspirations and things I want to achieve, sure. But I would take death over all of that every single time.

it just hurts everything i went for therapy and i thought my parents finally understood me but they dint its like they forget everything i was going through and i dont know what to do it hurts so back oh my god i cant i want to kms and i was clean for so long i thought og it but i never did and today i did because i hate myself so much

I’m going to get prescribed propranolol soon- it’s an anti anxiety medication that helps with the physical aspects of the disorder. It can slow your heart rate and let’s just say the moment I heard that I knew exactly how much of these pills I’d be taking. I’ve finally found a way out. Big things coming guys 😂😂😂

I secretly look forward to any surgery I get just for the sleeping medicine.

I hate getting memories of people and resentment they've caused me in my head. My fam is so bad to be resentful about people and the past I'm wondering if I inherited that from them? Or is it a universal thing. I'm still frustrated because one relative was so awful to me and I didn't deserve it. I'd never have treated them that way. They told their own kid they hope they burn in hell once if that's any indication how they act/ed. No I don't know what's in their heart but they were extremely awful and callous to me when I was in need. Yet they themselves would seek sympathy from others and play copy cat of people's issues for attention. Yeah I know I probably need a psychiatrist. I didn't ask for a wack ass abusive uncaring family.

I love my children. I’m so sick of having to essentially raise them on my own because everything’s so damned expensive that my wife has to take additional nursing shifts and miss more of our kids’ life just to have ends meet. I’m tired of the house being a mess. I’m tired of always having to plan meals. I’m sick of having to balance our budget. I don’t think this is how family life is supposed to be. I’m angry and sad. What’s the point of trying to improve things when nothing I do seems to work long term?

This one person who wanted to use me and take advantage of me blurted out "I have trauma" to try and make me feel sorry for them. Um yeah and I don't? I have quite alot but I don't go blurting it out. They didn't have a mouth filter or didn't care what they said. Sure maybe they were somewhat mental but they also wouldn't stop pestering me asking for things from my fan and I. Being rude to people like that seems the only language they understand to back off. You don't keep asking and asking for food rides and cigarettes to be bought for you every couple of days to someone you hardly know. They fuckin took advantage of me. And then have audacity to give me money only a very minor amount for gas after taking them to the bank then instantly regret giving it to me BECAUSE I ACCEPTED AND APPARENTLY THEY HOPED I WOULDN'T WTF!!!????? I can't make this stuff up. Wtf did they expect im not a walking bank vault. Then they acted like I was the bad guy. WTF...I'm not heartless but good riddance.

i get it it's expensive and dentists work hard for that job and it's well-deserved but if im crying over dental pain js know that im also crying over the bills 😭 man...

dental pain person again back here again because just as expected the fucking dentist was expensive 😭 didn't get shit done on my teeth and just had an xray (WHICH WAS EXPENSIVE BRUH WTF ONE XRAY) and turns out my tooth is an impacted one so it's gonna be a whole surgery WHICH COSTS INSANEEEEEEELLLLY TOO MUCH LIKE 😭😭 i get that it's like a private clinic or sumshit BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S WAY TOO EXPENSIVE 10k (like 160 usd which is normal there idk??) ESTIMATE BTW ESTIMATE (tbh atp any sort of healthcare is just THAT expensive) for a tooth extraction?????😭😭might as well live with this atp damn knew the dentist was gon be expensive that's why i hesitated lol anyway, idk when im gonna have this removed cuz it's just way way wayyyyy too expensive

My parents both say they hate each other for things the other one have done but both of them are too strong willed to apologise because they both think they are in the right they then blame their arguments on me and my brother not getting along and despite all my efforts they still don’t get along I probably just need a hug but I just want them to love each other

I tried killing my self a lot of times.. And I just can't.. I hate my life and I hate my self too. I hate everyone around me including my parents. Everyone Is literally so fake to me and others keep bullying me and they do nothing ofc. My dad is alcoholic and thank god he doesn't live with me.. We're not rich. At that I sometimes don't even have nothing to eat. I just want to die at this point. Pls tell me I'm not the only one..