All Rants

I cannot do this anymore. I have nobody to talk too, but I hope it will end here. I wish I could tell my friends and family I love them, and I hope they don’t blame themselves. All I can hope is that someone sees this, and maybe, reaches out to someone they love. Stay safe. Maybe next time, things won’t be so bad.

I used the R word to my very special friend, I used his unique habits, and unusual liking against him, to formulate a conclusion that he could be a potential rpst , we've been talking for almost 3 months, he had past trust traumas and abandonment, I learned something, and was scared to the probability that he might be someone leading to that ledge, ( he hides his story, calls women Btchs and even know the black market that sells Rpst Content, he like real life documentary ) I had scrapped an uncomfortable topic and indiviual autonomy and I inhumanely degraded his own authory to live his own ways that is for his desires and inspiration, I did said it without considering the thought, he still hasn't blocked me, but I am nailed with great regret that wants me to correct things, but I'm afraid I might just make it all about me and own short comings, I want to hit the situation before it's already time-out, but how could I? now that trust and confidence are at stake or risk between us.

I hate you god why me? I am trying hard but it seems I am still left behind, failing in life. I am really exhausted, why am I left alone. Sometimes I feel like ending everything.

Witnessing firsthand, the misconception that yoga pants are for everyone 🤢

This woman I can’t stand at work just confessed to me she is having an affair with another coworker. Dumb bitch.

Today was just the worst I haven't really argued with my mom badly because I guess we were getting better until today she was get my brother ready to school me and my sister were laughing in the kitchen about something and he started crying she told us we better not be laughing at him because we're not smart I said I don't have time for this she started screaming at me saying she'd punch me in the mouth I called my grandma and told her everything so once she learned I was on the phone she got even wilder I just really need 7,000 so I can leave a few months after i turn eighteen this has been going on since I was twelve in seventeen it's exhausting she and my dad is exhausting she has five kids he has seven I have two half siblings I don't talk to because of my dad's actions always in and out of jail I just really can't do this anymore I'm stuck raising her kids all the time it's just so hard

I hate being a woman and im so sick of constantky hearing about how much " better " men are . If god only made women to help men i cant live on this earth anymors

Am I tripping or is this actually weird? I’ve been barely texting this dude for months. Thought he was chill at first but he started getting weird fake profiles, lying about who he is, sending unsolicited nudes, bringing up my mom like they’re friends (he met her once when she was outside). He even unfollows then re-requests, likes group reels just to notify me… doing the absolute most while I give him nothing so i finally blocked his real Instagram tonight and now I’m lowkey anxious he’s gonna make more fake accounts. It’s honestly embarrassing how much effort he’s putting in for zero reciprocation. Just needed to get this off my chest because it’s been soooooo draining.

I don't want to be the adult in my home anymore. I'm barely an adult but if I didn't force my mom to sleep or eat or leave the house she would have rotted away by now. She has a therapist and it's to the point if I don't remind and force her to go, she just doesn't. She doesn't take her meds without me forcing her. The worst part is, I suffer the exact same way. I am clinically depressed to the point I've had multiple attempts in the last few years and yet I am the only thing keeping my mom alive. I'm always terrified that when I go to see my dad for a weekend, Ill come back to her body. I'm tired. I'm so damn exhausted. I can barely have basic hygiene or eat more than a snack a day but if I don't make every meal for her, she won't eat and that can be deadly because of her diabetes. She doesn't go to the store without me getting on her ass about it. She doesn't have hobbies or friends aside from being high to the point of blacking out. I'm just tired.

I have not been doing great and someone I care about is like dying and also like friends of mine joke about suicid and I’m worried for them because idk if they are even jokes

i genuinely don’t know what to do and honestly i think junior year gotta be my worst year. Sure i had mo friend group break ups (which is good!!) but i feel like im losing myself mentally and physically. My time management is so bad to the point i don’t even know what to do, i always have random urges to be productive but always ended up not doing anything. I literally hate myself for it because i know this year is the most important year ever and i can’t bring myself to work hard or just be productive . im genuinely considering taking a gap year off, i dont know what i want to be in the future and if im in the same state like this next year i dont even know what to do. does life get better after 17? should i suffer more in this endless cycle?

ok so this week is exam week and it is like state issued stuff and basically my proctor is so freaking annoying. this morning like as the exam was starting i was on the NYT games cause i was bored asf and no good games are unblocked and like i had done this before with other teachers and no one cared. the test hadnt started yet and he pointed at me from across the room and said "you need to get where you are supposed to be" like sir what did i do to offend you so badly that you are yelling at me from across the room at 8 in the morning. but whatever i took the stupid test and then after i was done i asked to go to the bathroom and its my time of the month so i passed by my backpack to get a pad and as i was stopping he said "no no no no you need to just go" so then i was like "i need to grab smth" and he said "do it quieter next time and just go" like i get that this might not seem that bad but hes getting on my nerves. also his voice is annoying. whatever gnite whoever is reading this

it hurts to remember everyone who will just think i ghosted them oh wait they'll forget me like everyone else i am nothing but a person online i give no warmth i give no ideas i drag them through my problems then shut down i make jokes about serious things i am horrible i am terrible i want to do it tonight i might do it tonight but im scared of the pain im scared they will hate me i care about my reputation so much i dont know why mom dad i know you wont see this but im sorry im sorry i cant live up your expectations im a waste of space i know

comforting doesnt work. it will never work. i have tried everything i have tried all coping i cant stop it doesnt work i am merely a bug the world will keep spinning if i died but i want to feel special yet i know i am not im just another person begging for attention thank you for listening to this short waste of time i hope you have a great day

What's something that happened today that made you question everything? Well. I found out my ex (we dated for 19 months) of one week got with their best friend, and I’ve been tormenting myself over all of it. Reading their notes and stuff. Crying. It hurts, it does. But I know it’ll get better. You’ll get better. Every tunnel has it’s light, even if it’s pitch black right now.

I'm genuinely so tired of my friends excluded me they had a very important GC where they talked about updates to their lives and then when I was upset that they hadn't included me and now I had been left out of a bunch of shit because of it apparently I was just supposed to know and I'm not allowed to be upset about being excluded

I got a warning today at work, its a job i just got. Its my fault I was essentially slacking off. I now have anxiety that ill lose my job. I probably wont lose my job but i just get that feeling that i will. I think its just not a good look really.

I feel like I just got stabbed 52 times at the same time and on the same day

Ketchup definitely belongs on pizza, right? All my classmates said it didn't and even my teacher! Show me support guys!

I AM SO SCARED. Trump is going to fucking ruin my life! I don’t want to move to a whole other country and leave my friends or home, I don’t want to fucking move because ima woman and so that means apparently I belong in the kitchen with a short skirt with my mouth shut, I. HATE. TRUMP. He’s literally a repeat of Hitler, and starting ww3. He’s a fucking idiot. And idiotic moron with dementia.