All Rants

i want to vent i feel fucking unheard and always unwanted

im so sorry alexander. im so ffucking sorry alex. you you didnt mean it, im sure- i mmean, you didnt even know whhat happened when you came back..i know you'll never see this, but still...iim sorry. im so angry and upset at yyou but you dont even know what you did anymore. wwhy cant i just let it go? why cant I let YOU ggo? -G

Iim so confused. SO confused. ii..i have a lot going on, and its hard to explain- bbut im new to this place, and within the first dday of me being here, someone is already having issues and i dont know how to hhelp them im still trying tto get over my issues..it hurts because everything ffeels so fresh and im just...sso angry and upset. Ii miss him but I don't WANT to. he was sso bad to me and i just want to forget eeverything between us. he was my best friend, hhe wasnt supposed to react the way he did aand i just dont know what to ddo i wanna help the person wwho needs it, but how can i help without knnowing what to do to help myself..?

my dad is always drunk, he is ALWAYS. I want him to get help but i don’t think he will

I feel so lacking and exhausted. I push people away, distance, and isolate. But then I know i need them the most. Its so hard to yearn and hard to ask for comfort. I say I hate jealousy and envy yet I indulge in that secretly and it disgusts me... I dont express it but I can feel it. The more I conceal that the more I feel like its not fair. Why does it ruin my perspective and why do I give up so easily. Honestly I cant get a grip

Currently at work and my dad just said that he’s going to feed me steamed chicken and vegetables (I’m okay with that, but that’s not really the issue). I have an eating disorder (BED) and since I can’t control my emotions well. I will go to food as a last resort. My parents are horrible at understanding my emotional situations so that is primary reason why. Today I told my dad I wasn’t hungry because I ate too much for breakfast, which is a lie since I was still hungry. I just didn’t want to eat lunch because I felt horrible today and experienced severe body dysmorphia so I didn’t want to eat. I tried telling him that be instead he started to lash out at me and I started to cry for the third time. It’s also finals season, which is putting more pressure on me. I just hate being fat and pre-diabetic. I struggle with motivation because I am always at work as a teenager helping out, and im really trying my best. Really. I just wish my dad saw that but all he sees is a fat nobody. :(

I have multiple chronic illnesses that make it difficult to complete tasks. Yesterday I spend all my time and energy making a home cooked meal for my family. Six hours in the kitchen when I already was not feeling well. I did it out of the purebred of my heart. I feel under appreciated and disrespected. My family knew I was cooking this meal. They decide to come home with takeout. And they refuse to eat it the next day because it’s not fresh. How am I supposed to eat a 16 pound turkey myself? How do I address this level of disrespect?

I guess I miss my bsf. She's super busy with life now which i get and totally respect she has school and a job whereas I study from home. We're in 2 different places in life right now so I never expect her to be there at my every whim but sometimes I really miss her and I feel a little unheard?? Like I avoid opening our messages and scrolling up because it looks like im talking to myself with all the unseen messages I've sent her over the past few weeks. She does text me but everything I say goes unheard as she says she'll come back to it later which again i totally understand since shes busy and honestly a lot of what I say to her is just mumble jumble about my day that I wanted to say to someone, it isnt ever really important unless I say so. Regardless of all this I do sometimes feel a bit left behind as I know 100% she spends a lot of her time with her new boyfriend and she told me before dating him that she'd never be one of those ppl who choose bf>friend but it looks like she is.

missing my big sis rn since she’s out of town on my bday. i turn 19 today (even though I don’t feel 19) & i havent cried like this on my bday since i was 11. i have a stats final next week i’m dreading, my body aches, im preparing to go off a medication w terrible withdrawals in 2-3 weeks, & everything is just kind of a lot.

I feel like I am unlovable No one cares even if they do it doesn't change anything I just wanted to be loved

I hate how stupid I am. Why is it that i work SOOO hard everyday and still do bad. It's like I'm getting punished for trying. I hate everyone and I'm jealous of them doing good and I get so disgusted in myself to the point that I have wished on their downfall.

This is another continuation from somewhere in this website but i feel mentally better now, i have my boyfriend that helps go through this but i gotta admit i still feel hurt from from my friend. how can she hurt people just like that….i just wanted to have a nice friend but i guess it’s very difficult to have one,

I feel disgusting. I’m having a hard time even thinking about how I can move on from this situation, it feels like I can’t. The thing is; it’s all my fault. I was the idiot looking for someone to talk to on the internet. And like the fucking dumbass I am I ended up getting groomed by a man. The things he would tell me to do on the phone….,,, they keep playing in my head. I can’t escape it. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel horrible. And the thing is? I’m still in contact with him. He hasn’t responded to my texts for about two weeks so I feel like he probably deleted the app because guilt, or something else entirely. I miss him. I hate him but I miss him so much. The relationship between us was inappropriate, but that’s what gave me a rush of excitement. Isn’t that sick? I was 16 and he was 25. I could’ve done anything else, but I just HAD to talk to this guy. I’m so dumb. I’m scared too. I’m scared that he recorded our conversations on the phone. I have no one.

My friends think that I'm developing a personality disorder (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) or a superiority complex, I don't know what to do about it or what to do with myself. Ever since I entered my teen years I became a different person, which would be okay and normal, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm coming out to be a bad person. I never tell people, but the truth is that I'm insecure and have a very frail ego, and when I do poorly on tests or assignments, I feel worthless and useless. So i either work myself down to the bone, and when that doesn't work and I wantto try to make myself feel like I'm worth something, I hurt others and bring them down, I hurt them, mock their insecurities, Insult them, I start arguments out of nowhere and try to win every time, sometimes I even hit other people to make myself feel like I'm better than them, to have control over them, make them feel small. And I hate my own behaviour, because I know that it's wrong, but I don't know what to do

My dearest Jonah, "I love you, I miss you and I craved for your presence " I wish I could call back time and say this to you but i can't anymore maybe it's because we're young i mean we're 12, Even though we never dated you were my first love and i hope iam yours too I've never saw your account or you ever since the conflict start and we switched school it's been 4 years but I still love you my dear. I could never forget you back then we were scared to admit our feelings and shy, Jonah i really hope your doing okay and fine I saw your friends sometimes here but since your not in this town I've never saw you Jonah 🥺 i really hope destiny will bring us back together whenever I saw someone who looks familiar to you my heart always ache and I had this tiny hope that we would meet again. I love you and stay safe wherever you maybe.

I'm in love with my hg,Lowkey. Did she really feel nothing when she pin me on the bed when we were playing and being reckless. She said I'm pretty too like omg stop giving me mixed signals I'm going insane.

So, I saw a thread talking about unpopular opinions on my favourite character. I quoted it and said smth like "Character A seems like a heartwarming person and empathetic towards kids although they committed crimes" and I slept. I wasn't thinking much since it was just a fictional character I woke up and checked my phone to found out someone has mentioned me, with full 6+ tweets and plenty of paragraphs explaining why they're not innocent(although I never said so??). It becomes worse when I found out I follow that person for theories and facts of this character😭😭 I was like wtf and my impulsivity makes me so ashamed that I deleted my account.

Look what you've done to yourself, you pathetic excuse for a man. You think your parents are proud? You're a sick bastard, something ain't right in your head and quite frankly, you deserve this all. You could've been someone big, you got opportunity after opportunity offered to you on a silver platter, and here you are. Numb on meds and stinking of cheap, stale liquor. You're pathetic. You're everything you've ever looked down upon. Can't even conjure up a sliver of a smile without the use of substances. Weak, pathetically weak. You deserve to be miserable, me.

I hate you, you cockroach of a neighbour. I hope you get attacked by your stupid bloody pitbull so you can feel what it felt like for all those innocent pets it has attacked. I'm sick of your garbage everywhere, I'm sick of your aggressive dog barking for hours on end, I'm sick of you blasting your dumb music day in day out, I'm sick of your drunken ramblings and you threatening me, I'm sick of the sheer stench that your landfill of a yard permeates through the entire neighbourhood. Move! Move somewhere else! Preferably somewhere where you can't ruin people's lives.

Got banned from VentScape again for absolutely no reason. It’s honestly exhausting dealing with moderation that feels this random and inconsistent. If there’s a rule, enforce it clearly. If not, don’t pretend there is. Just annoying at this point.