All Rants

I can't write poetry or fiction the same way that some people can't be heart surgeons. I don't want to accept it, but I'm sick of having to endure cruelty when I'm too weak.

Is it bad that I call myself a b!tch Is it bad that I wanna Kms Is it bad? Is it? ARGG 🙁 Well I don't know I tell myself that it would be good! But Ik it probably isn't What am I fucking saying I'm sorry for swearing I'm so sorry I need to say it But you know I wanna No reason I just wanna fucking disappear of this planet oh my god!!! AAAAAA

I'm so drained I feel angry one day, the next nothing, the next sad, the next happy it's so tiring and all I do to my parents is apparently sit on my ass it's so annoying I'm trying I really am I promise I'm so sorry can they please stop blaming me? I always lose people. 3 times I have lost a friend group. 1st time, manipulated, 2nd time manipulated and spreader rumours about me, 3rd time, they stole them from me. Why is it always me. I sh. I need a better blade.

"i'll be 20 minutes" two and a half fucking hours later and youre still out. no messages or updates until 15 minutes ago. you do this every time

So many people speak of paradise in another word of eternal beautiful summer or a congregation of their family forced to feel a hollow and unrealistic happiness forever like they are eternally high on drugs. My image of paradise is this world we have now being at peace with love and respect even for people who are foreign to us and to each other. My paradise is a personal library of ancient knowledge where I can invite one or two worthy mortal friends or lovers to read quietly and and be amazed at the revelations of truth that humankind has recorded and stored away for centuries, even millenia on pages of the world sacrificed for the sake of knowledge. Vellum pages from the skin of cattle and paper from the wood of trees. These temporary sacrifices to knowledge in books for long-lasting wisdom and information that can save empires from collapse. To me, paradise is a state that can be accomplished in this world. To me, I can die in paradise in a chair remembering my enlightenment.

I am a female in a relationship and do not want to share my partner. Recently, my boyfriend pressured me into trying a polygamous relationship with him and my best friend. We are currently in a trial phase, but I hate it and want it to just be him and me. This situation is reopening old relationship wounds and causing me severe emotional stress, including panic attacks. My gut hates this entire setup, but my heart still loves him. I want to tell them both that I do not want this. Am I a crappy girlfriend for saying no? After telling my bf and best friend I didn't want to do it they both lost the shit on me, my bf wanted to off himself and a lost a best friend. The emotional pressure of this is a lot.. and recently he has became more distant with me (which is my biggest fear in a relationship) and now that school is back in session I feel like between the mental struggles with this relationship might effect me in the long run... But I love my bf but is it to much that I should end it?.

I came and did two rants. First time today. I was so angry in the moment. Then I decided to read others posts. It made me realize my life isn't as bad as I thought it was. Although I am still angry, I now feel sadness for others. I wish I could give so many a hug. You never know what others are going through and this site proves that. I pray for everyone on here that things work out in a positive light for you all. We all have purpose and we all belong here...even if we don't feel it at the moment. Someone out there is happy we are still here on this Earth.

So , I feel like an attention seeker . I want trama I want a mental illness I want depression. I just don’t know . I want nd I just want to be loved I guess. I take tests for things and if I barely pass I say I have it . I just . I don’t know

every time my husband and i fight, and he screams at me and tells me i'm wrong and i have to be the one to apologize, and make myself smaller to appease him, i can feel myself starting to love him a little less. for every time i have to give parts of myself away, is another invisible step i take away from him

Ever since I made my first friend, I've always been option 2, always someone in the background, someone who gets cut off just randomly for no reason. And it is for no reason, I promise you that I try my hardest to not annoy people and be normal, yet here I am sat typing it on a screen because I have no one else to tell it all to. I am only remembered when someone accidentally brings me up midway through whatever event it is, then they realise and say "Oh yeah him". I literally just sit and watch the world go by, always being the backup for the backup in case the backup isn't there; I wouldn't even go that far honestly. I used to get bullied a lot, So I tried my hardest to change and here I am 4 years later miles better than I used to be, everything I was made fun of for I made better but even now I'm so different no one cares about me still. I'm pretty much always alone and just have to sit looking through other people's instagram stories wondering why I never got asked to come.

I hate that I hate the father of my child. He literally has stepped away and although I am mad at him for being MIA I am more disgusted with myself. I feel trapped, alone, and shameful. Why would I ruine my life having a kid by him? I can't do anything about. The kid is here and I am the one stuck for the rest of my life. I got a letter saying I can claim child support but I dont want to go to court because then he will get rights. Right now his broke ass has no fucking money, no where to live, no car, no job...I rather not have child support if he just leaves us the fuck alone for the rest of our lives. I feel so dumb because I just "had" to fuck him one last time. Now look at me. Stuck and looking stupid. I am so hurt on the daily and I lie to people telling them I am fine. Fuck everything dude.

I fucking hate you. I hate every thing about you. I hate every cell in your fucking body. You literally are the weakest man I know. How could you make children with people, claim you want a part of their lives, and then abandon them like trash. You are a horrible human and crappy excuse for a father and man. Literally if you left the face of this earth that would be amazing. Whats the worst part of all of this, I hate that I hate you. I want to be Godly and be one with the Lord, but I can't due to all of the resentment I hold for you. You have ruined my life so much it makes me fucking sick. I am tired, I am broken, I am changed. You can never go back to the way I was and its all because of you. Living with herpes is better than being stuck in the predicament I am in now. You make it hard for me to connect and love my child because you are a part of her. You make me sick and a fucking hate the air you breath! You bastard! You should have nothing but shame. You weak motherfucker

Argument if whole family ..why do I felt it was my fault..

i'm a girl but i want to be a femboy and i wanna be a youtuber and i love my best friend rama because she's the best person you could ever meet i love her she's so awesome and kind and lovely and cool and supportive and i love herrrrrrr and I hope someday she will realize it and we'll marry each other and everything and also i like femboys yayy BUT I WANT TO BE A FEMBOY SO BAD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

i really hate my mom, she criticizes me all the time, calls me fat, lazy, and the r slur too sometimes. the worst thing is that she's actually… cool sometimes? like, we laugh together… and then a while later she finds a way to be awful again :( I feel uncomfortable around my whole family, my grandma is a guilt-tripper, grandpa sometimes says rude things and they both just hate me, my dad is an alcoholic bitch who doesn't do shit, i hate them all, they hate me, they dont even know what I like, what I do on my phone, and I could never tell them, they would probably send me to a mental asylum lol, one time my mom slapped me in the face IN A SHOP. because I said something (i don't remember, but it definitely wasn't rude) I literally wanted to cry. and I don't have any friends irl so like no one to reach out to. im going to high school and im horrified. my online best friend Rama keeps me alive, I love her so much genuinely and I think I have a crush on her :> she's such an awesome person🙂

It's really sad and hard to cope with how life can turn out or be influenced by other people for certain individuals. And i mean what can you do about it? You fall victim by it when you don't have enough abilities to fight it off. Peopl say the saddest thing is wasted potential, what about wasted life? Wasted potential in what for life one could have had? That's the saddest of both worlds.

there is this bitch, she thinks every guy would drop their shit just to stare at her. shes so fucking delusional.

My mum is one of those many annoying, forceful African parents. I happen to be AFAB but identify as nonbinary. Obviously haven't told her that but today she decided to aggravate me about what I wear. I dont wear dresses or skirts as I don't feel comfortable in them at the moment (it would validate my mum thinking I am finally acting like a 'woman'). Today she decided to tell me that I will wear a skirt or dress at some point which she will buy using my own money? What kind of idiocy is that? I repeatedly told her I wouldn't and my bum sister decided to chime in and say it's not that deep to wear a dress. I dont know why she even invited herself to the conversation but I told her that she's missing the point, it's being forced to wear something (SOMETHING THAT MY SISTER SUUFERS WITH TOO MIND U) that is the issue. My mum kept repeating it anyway. I'm 20 btw, I hate my life

Sometimes I feel like only positive connection between me and my father is the fact that he provides for me but even in that he always uses that money as a way to threat constantly even in normal conversations. So I feel guilty/insecure for asking for his money. He is 44 years older than me (boomer generation) and there are so many things we don't agree with each other. I am normally extremely peacefull person and my friends joke about if I ever get angry but I can't communicate with him without arguing or yelling because he starts the conversation with yelling over nothings (even at public) or he doesn't take it seriously otherwise.

Okay so all of you are 13………..