I was married at 18 to a 29 year old man. It turned abusive and violent. I had to flee and while I'm home now and safe, it doesn't feel like that always still. I feel the dread still of an outburst or the constant eggshells. I'm processing the things done to me and the worries everyone else had while I was trapped in a fucking basement in the middle of nowhere Canada, married to this predator. My parents and I have always had a complicated relationship, but I know they love me and they saved my ass on my escape back to Ohio. Some things echo in my head and I don't know how to deal with them such as one of my parents asking what is the longest I'll go without answering messages just in case. I want to get back into therapy. I want to talk, but I know the things I hold are disturbing. My parents apparently wondered, almost daily near the end, about how long they would have to go without a response to know they should start searching for my body cause they thought my ex would murder me.
Recent Rants
I wrote my suicide note last night. I don’t even know where to go from here, Im scared to die but Im also scared to live. My life has become an endless loop of fear and sadness. How much more am I supposed to take? Is it selfish to feel this way? Idk.
I’ve been clean from SH for month and my life had finally felt good again I’ve been feeling happier and better but I just had a break down and I SH and it was bad.
I have this friend where I’d be the happiest to around with. But the second i tell her something i reallly REALLY love like ocs and my favourite media, she'd respond so underwhelmingly, like woah, thats so cool, and etc. I dont wanna mind it that much cause she's my friend yk, and she told me already that she's not good with responding, but at the same time thats how she respond when she is not interested so i overthink a lot. We are two peas in a pod but we also haven't known each other for that long, so I understand why im having a difficult time processing emotions. But I do wanna fix my problem without seeming too sensitive and insecure, i wanna reflect and do better and not just overthink the entire time, yk.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I fucking hate myself, I hate being a trans man, I'm tired of people wanting me dead, I'm so fucking tired, I'm seriously going to commit, I'm only here because I have an amazing mom, but I'm seriously tired. I fucking hate everyone in this god damn world, whoever is reading this I hope you know your FUCKED! This world has fucked you over, and you in general are a fucked up person, NO ONE DESERVES HEAVEN. EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO TO HELL! I'm fucking sick of it all, everyone should burn, and you just disagree because you have not seen all the terror that comes with the existence of humanity.
i’m fifteen pounds lighter than my friends but i look twenty freaking pounds heavier and i’m simply sick of it.
everyday is kind of the same day for me. honestly, i wished that there was a small spark in my life. i wished to find that person who'd give me a small spark. not a whole fire which either is too much or it burns but not lit out like its not even thinking to light up. when will i stop feeling this way?
It's truly laughable how clumsy I am, how I always knock everything over or make basic mistakes in establishing comfort with others. I can't tell when or how I'm being annoying, I just know that I'm not wanted anywhere. It's only a matter of time before I go tumbling over the bookshelf, bumping into walls, making a fool of myself, damaging equipment because of how simple I am. I see ridiculous, conceited, self-loathing posts like this across the internet and it angers me how common I am. I'm so frustrated living day to day, it feels that I can't do anything right and I'm forced into loneliness or trying to half-think myself into mimicking the people that have been spoken for. I know I don't have any practical intelligence nor booksmarts, all I have is this stupid laughable envy conceited as ambition when it's a tragic, social mockery. I don't truly want anything or to go anywhere, I just want to stop the feeling that everyone is laughing at my slightest mistakes.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
So a bit ago my and my close friend used to act like we where daiting, like she'd kiss me on my cheek and we would snuggle at sleep overs. Then on December 22 2025 I had my first kiss with her, it was like a dream and it was heaven. But then the kisses stopped. The pet names the everything stopped. And now im wondering what I did wrong. Was it something I said? Something I did? I've had a crush on her for around i think almost a year now. And I miss that. But she did say she would kiss me again but that was like in January. And now im crying like a fool wondering what i did wrong.
the Windows 25H2 26200 is a THING momma said I can hate THINGS (not people) so on this THING "I HATE IT!!!!!"!!!!! HP Omnistudio is new and this is the only thing I've done that didn't involve fixing only to be told "Microsoft/Windows" replaced what you have been trying to do ( for 3 days) and din't say anything.
i genuinley hate my hamster sometimes i have to take him out my room and i feel so horrible because i can hear him trying to chew through the plastic at the bottom of his cage and it is the most grating noise i have ever heard it actually drives me insane that sometimes i think maybe it wouldnt be so bad if he did chew through his cage and just run out the house and i feel so mean and i hope he doesnt cuz my dog will actually eat him but he escaped his ball today when i cleaned out his cage and bit the shit out of me when i tried to pick him up and hes not even in my room hes downstairs and i can still hear him trying to chew through that stupid fucking plastic and it drives me insane and im too scared to bring up rehoming to my dad because i begged him for months to let me have my hamster and i do love him i just feel so bad
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
i started applying to jobs earlier this year. last week, i got an email inviting me to do a phone screening, but when i emailed back i didn't get any response. yesterday, i got another invite, so i texted the recruiter and said i was available whenever, following my parents' advice, despite them knowing i have the worst sleep schedule where i struggle to get up before 5-6 pm for years now. i managed to wake up at 2 pm and saw i missed the recruiter's text, which was sent at 8 am, asking if i could do 10 am to 12 pm. i immediately texted back, apologizing and asking them to give me potential time slots but no reply. my dad says i should just trying calling them today anyway, but i feel like i've messed up. i feel stupid for going along with his advice, even if it meant well, because now it's caused me to potentially miss an opportunity. idk if i should call them because i feel like i'm going to get ghosted.
i hate people on reddit they are so disgusting because they call people idiots when they are the idiots. i can't stand people. they make me fill up with rage and human beings are repulsive. People need to shut up and kill themselves already. People make me sick and I just want to kill them. People deserve to be murdered. People need to be chopped up for opening their mouth.It would make me feel better. I already feel better saying it. I want to scare and upset people so bad because I'm a stranger and they say they don't like me but they don't know me. I know people will say gee i wonder why but I don't care. I want people to suffer instead because I thrive on that. i mean it. Some fuck face came along once and started attacking me for no reason, he starts judging me and then bullies me. I wanted to poke his eyes out, It makes me want to torture people. It would make me feel powerful. But I'm so angry because I'm minding my own business and living my life and people talk to me.
What's something about your mental health that you wish people understood better? My white friends didn’t believe I was autistic bc I act differently from them. And explaining that my family basically didn’t allow me to show symptoms and it was “beaten out of me” meaning that I just got good at masking to avoid abuse and scrutiny from my folks. I think people forget that socialization and community have a massive part in how some symptoms show up in MI. Not everyone w the same problems show symptoms the same and it can be dependent on how they are raised & treated. I’m overly self reliant but that doesn’t negate my autism, bipolar & bpd just bc I don’t show it the same. Funny enough most poc ND ppl clock me immediately.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I think my besties are lazy! I live with my two best friends as roommates. When it comes to their jobs, they go above and beyond. They do great too! But lafter moving in with them post college I realized they are absolute slops. We all work, they work 9-5s while I pull evening in my field post grad. I will clean all day while they are at work and then come home after my shift only to find it trashed. The only time they actually do chores is when I tell/ask them. Even then it’s a struggle. It’s been like this for years and now they’re kinda pissed at me for refusing to renew the lease again and moving in with my s/o. I’m just happy to never have to clean moldly dishes or cat sh!t off the walls ever again. I hope they change but if they don’t I hope the mold doesn’t get them
I’m tired of being the emotional punching bag for everyone around me. My friends use mental health to excuse how they treat me, I’m mentally ill also and have physical health problems. My family pretends all the horrible things that happened to me growing up are either my fault or an overreaction (including recorded abuse). My friends know this and while they support me and dislike my family I’ve been realizing they do the same stuff but it’s “different” to them. I feel like the cycle is continuing and my friends are also refusing to see why I’m upset. Im close to cutting them off but I love them and being friends for over a decade is making it harder. My boyfriend who is the only person who doesn’t treat me like this says I should probably put distance between us but knows why I don’t. I’m scared though, I feel like the same who child cried myself to sleep every night and having my feelings minimized about it. I hate it
my friendships are falling apart and its because nobody wants to deal with a mentally ill fucked up teenager like me