I feel so lost right now. I'm 16 and I'm halfway through grade 10. but I don't know what I to do, to be, what to study for college. Whenever I told anyone my worries, they kept telling me I'm young, I'll figure it out soon. NO, I WON'T. I know I'm young but hear me out. I'm doing so bad in school like literally I don't even know basic knowledge. I felt so dumb, so fucking ugly and so bad. I tried to improve myself but I just can't. I've noticed that I'm struggling mentally since I was 14. I feel like mental health is gonna be the cause of my death. Sooner or later. I want to do it but I want to look pretty first, that way my funeral's picture won't be bad. I have very low self-esteem. I've been wearing mask my whole life since covid-19 and it's killing me. I want to take it off so bad but my insecurities got in the way. I feel so dramatic and pathetic writing this right now. I'm probably going to feel embarrassed and regret it later for writing this. Thank you if you've made it.