I'm closeted bisexual and bigender because I have homphobic parents and I have an ex because our parents found out about us and they discourage dating at my age but I want to be with him again but he put me in the friend zone and I have depression and I just want to die but I can't because my friend says she'll kill herself if I do so and I'm scared about what'll happen if I kms, I don't have privacy, I don't even have my own device. I don't have any source of happiness. Maybe temporary sources are my friends and my friends are like my world. I'm scared of talking to people but I want to. I'm scared people will judge me and I hate everything about myself. I think I have body dysmorphia but don't know.

I want to cry it is currently 12:00 and I need sleep but I need to finish my homework and I can't. I am a failure and a disappointment to my family. I just did three depression tests and I got moderately severe depression. It said tell your parents immediately. To be honest most of the questions on the tests were really relatable.

Im not going to live much longer. Im broken, im disgusting, filthy, stupid fucking ugly whore. I was broken from the start, the universe hates me and somehow i deserve it, I know i do. Im not a person, and i never was. I never will be, no matter how hard i try. Ill never function like everyone else. Ill never look like a woman should. Ill never be truly loved, just kept around for what i can provide until im useless, and then left without a second thought. I need to kill myself. Ive known it since i was 7, and now im a fucking pathetic 23 year old. I wasnt made to last. I was made to suffer, and fizzle out. It’s my fate, its out of my hands. Its what the world wants from me, and im so fucking tired of fighting it. I spent so long in a cage, ive become the cage and i cant escape it. Its so dark, and im so tired, and im so scared. Im so tired of fighting. I give up. The universe wins. I love life, but i was never meant to live.