hrgh, gonna vent a little more. (the third year college girl with no friends here again loool) a couple days ago i also decided to take a huge leap and tell this girl i know online (practically my only one friend but i fear im losing her due to my own actions and whatever,,) that i had developed feelings for her. in the past she messaged me once saying that she might have feelings for me but at the time she wasn't sure so i didnt tell her what i felt back. we remained friends after that, no biggie,, but so many things happened since then and i just had to tell her how i felt. I don't know why i bothered. Our friendship dwindled so much recently bc of me. Why did i decide now was a good time to tell her i feel about her? She essentially rejected me, kindly ofc, bc she said she's figuring her own shit out and doesn't like me as much any more. i don't know how but we're still friends after that. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I don't deserve to be her friend.

i get degraded by everyone i know. i lost most of my friends. only co workers and like 2 other people i knew from highscool. they treat me like im a kid. like im dumb. like i dont matter. but because of that, i see myself dissing on others to make me feel better about myself. i need help. i want to be more humble in life. i miss the old me. i want my old life back. this one isnt working for me. i need fixing. i want a restart. i wanna end all of this because im tired. but i dont. im scared to end it. im scared for my family. i dont want it to seem like im attention seeking. im scared what people will think. do these people think im deserving of equal treatment, or do they see me as just a tool. convenient and there when needed. but what about me? what if i need help? who will be there for me? im scared to talk about my feelings, because im scared what others might think. thats why i keep quite. so no one has a chance to say what they think about me. i hope life gets better. for me.

Hey, it's okay to feel...everything. Feelings are hard, I get you and a lot of people do. I came on this app to rant yk? But I think that you need encouragement. It's perfectly okay to have bad days, and it's okay to have feelings. Just to let you know, people care about you. They'll love you more than you'll ever know. I'll love you more than you'll ever know. I may not know you but I'm here, I'm not sure if you can save a rant but if you can, save this if you need to. I get you, babe.