i get degraded by everyone i know. i lost most of my friends. only co workers and like 2 other people i knew from highscool. they treat me like im a kid. like im dumb. like i dont matter. but because of that, i see myself dissing on others to make me feel better about myself. i need help. i want to be more humble in life. i miss the old me. i want my old life back. this one isnt working for me. i need fixing. i want a restart. i wanna end all of this because im tired. but i dont. im scared to end it. im scared for my family. i dont want it to seem like im attention seeking. im scared what people will think. do these people think im deserving of equal treatment, or do they see me as just a tool. convenient and there when needed. but what about me? what if i need help? who will be there for me? im scared to talk about my feelings, because im scared what others might think. thats why i keep quite. so no one has a chance to say what they think about me. i hope life gets better. for me.