I’m just tired of never being chosen. I’m like a spot filler. I’m so tired of my heart being broken. I’m tired of going g so far beyond what I’m actually comfortable with just to feel wanted for a minute even if it’s just all in my head I guess. Even at work. I try to be nice and buy lunch for people and now it’s expected. She literally asked me today “ soooo are you gonna buy us lunch today” why am I so weak that I can’t say no? Also they took my lunch box because they needed it. Took out my stuff out and just took it without asking me at all. I offered to work tomorrow because she has a kid and mine are grown. She did say “ are you sure” at least but when I said of course and to enjoy her Easter I didn’t even get a thank you. I’m tired of being married to a man that complicates my life. I’m raising him too it feels like sometimes. I can’t leave. There’s no way at my age to be able to start over again. I can’t afford to be on my own. I’m stuck in this hell.