All Rants

Neither my best nor my worst version belongs to a Narcissist like you. You do not deserve any part of who I am.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THE FUCKING TOILET CLOGGING. IT WAS INSTALLED A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, AND CLOGS MOST TIMES I TAKE A SHIT. I'M GETTING GODDAMN TIRED OF IT. FUCKING ASSHOLES DON'T KNOW HOW TO INSTALL A FUCKING TOILET.

"girl just hop on ao3" idk why but this is bothering me I got it after I asked for stories because I like hearing funny stories and they cheer me up I don't wanna go on ao3 its the reason I'm in the nsfw mess idk if you were trying to be rude or kind but I feel worse now now Im gonna think about this shit for the rest of the day ty ig

There is something wrong with me. I'm absolutely pathetic when it comes down to it and I'm tired of acting like I'm not.

I am a 15 year old Sophomore in high school, and today when walking home with my sister who is a junior We got yelled at by a young adult from a car window, he said " you f*cking n*gger" and my heart was aching all day. At school people I hangout with always make racial jokes towards me and I now I have a feeling I am ashamed of being this race and I do to deserve it, I hate people that are racist, people you jokes about racism and people who says the N word when there skin isn't the same as mine, and use their family or ethnicity as an excuse, I want to grow up and build a community about anti racism, but be a leading example and having each others back but right now I want to get a better mindset for situations like these and learn to be my own person, learn to say NO, and never let anyone ever control my life ESPECIALLY if they are not my blood related, I have dealt with racism all my life but recently I have opened my eyes and see how normalized it is and I hate it

I had a secret. Very few people knew about this secret, and I wanted it left that way. My psychiatrist and a few close friends knew - that was all. After a particularly bad couple of days dealing with some pretty deep stuff, again my secret became obvious to those around me. After a visit by my psychiatrist I was encouraged to tell my mum. I didn't have the guts to tell her, but desperately wanted her to understand. So that Saturday night while at a friend’s place so I wasn't left alone, I took a major life changing step - I told mum my secret and she cried. What is this secret you ask? I self-harm. When I am desperately down, I end up out of it totally and harm myself. As if hurting me is a pain I can cope with when the other feelings are out of control and I can't.

I don’t like self harm. I don’t like pain, I feel gross even thinking about flesh and yuck! But I’m also so curious about it? I would never harm another person, if I ever even had a thought like that I would turn myself in because that’s disgusting! I do sometimes cut myself just a bit though, just to see the red, how it drips and the weird darkness. It makes me in awe to realize I’m alive, life isn’t just something that passes by - it’s all just really real! After I do it I get all grossed out and whine, but I really am SHOCKED I’m somehow a real thing, that Earth and the universe exists! It’s so magical! Life isn’t beautiful and precious, I am inlove with it all. Ik self harm isn’t a good way to realize I’m alive but life really blends in to me, I’ve only done it twice and both times I made sure to bandage it well, so don’t worry haha! Ig this isn’t rlly a vent tho? Cuz I adore living so much. I kinda just felt weirded out by myself 😭

I hate me I hate my brain I hate my dad I hate school I hate my body I hate that I’m fat

I fucking relapsed I’m actually so pissed

Choose a woman in your own league, but do not bring down other women who do not align with your goals, nor shall you compare them. Stop making false scenarios and setting them against each other, especially when they’re both from different fields. I rest my case here.

If anyone has tips to get skinnier, please tell me. I want to lose weight :(

I got a nice note on the transitioning thing and I really appreciate it. I’ve never thought about doing it and I have no idea if it would make me happier or not. Ik my family would support me but would I really like being a woman. I was born a man. Some “feminine” stuff is cool idk

I've started self-harming again. It's been 7 years since I started getting treatment for my mental health. It was going great until my insurance fucked me over. My adhd meds ran out, my antidepressants ran out, and I could only afford the HRT. I'm back on insurance, but my therapist won't see me until I pay the outstanding bills. I'm using my thigh and a fuckin plastic butter knife. I keep it in my purse. They're all on my thigh, because I can hide that easily. Even my girlfriend won't see it cause she knows I've got bottom dysphoria. They hurt. I limp sometimes when I'm done. One line at a time, not enough to bleed. Nobody has noticed that. They're more concerned about my OCD compulsions and who would ever expect me to be the self-harm type. This sucks

Isn’t it so funny how I have to come on here to fucking vent? Why does my family think my emotions are stupid and worthless? Why am I the only one not allowed to express my emotions?! Is it because I’m the oldest? Is it because I’m normally quiet and emotionless? Am I just being dramatic? Am I just looking for attention? I don’t deserve love right? That’s just how things are. Who gives a shit about me. I’m worthless. I always will be.

I'm probably not gonna get to celebrate my bday at my moms house or it's gonna be a rlly bad mood as well as I'm prob gonna get a lot more ||neglected|| again because my mama Is gonna get ||surgery|| soon like today or tomorrow and my step dads mom js ||died|| from what ik so I feel even worse now and I feel guilty and shifty for being upset about my bday I didn't know my step dad mom that much I met her like once and my mama's ok she's js getting something removed and my step dad js came in and said he's leaving so I'll have to babysit and figure out what to make for my siblings for dinner but my parents have a strict rule about no using the stove or oven while they are gone so yeah I js wanna curl up in a ball and sob I'm so fucking tired and so much is happening at once and I have so much shit to do and I can't even ask for a break because it's not like my mom or step dad asked for this and my older sister won't help and is js in her room all day while I babysit I can't do this any

I try everything to be pretty, but at the end of the day, the mirror wins.

I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough I’m not skinny enough

Sometimes I wish I was a woman but I also don’t want to get my dick cut off and transition fully. People who are strong enough to make such a decision are admirable and a lot braver than me

I’m trans but I hate being trans. I hate the idea. I hate not being happy in my own body. I hate that my whole family is homophobic and transphobic as hell. I know as soon as I become an adult and start going by he/him, they’ll cut me off. Why don’t I just kill myself first? You can’t be disowned and hated on and shunned by your own family if your not even alive :)

I got catfished once in high school because I was horny and they were sending me nudes on snap. My parents told me not to do that again so that is the one picture of my dick