All Rants

I feel like I have to fake being myself and smile and laugh and look happy all the time so that people will like me. I think it’s working but I just feel so fake and if people knew what I was really like they’d probably think Im weird :( At the same time I’mhappy because people are finally starting to be friendly with me but I honestly can’t keep this up forever It’s so draining 😭😭😭

One of the solutions in dealing with Australia CFMEU and closing them down permanently, is to declare them a Domestic Terrorism Organisation conducting illegal activities such being paid thugs especially on Brisbane job sites.

I love my husband but I am so over living with him and his actions sometimes. I know he is autistic and ADD, and we work to manage these things, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like he’s trying at all. I have to almost pressure him into showering. I have to ask him to come to bed 3 times because he’s too busy scrolling on his phone. I have to repeatedly ask him to stop yelling and banging on his desk while he’s working because it freaks me out. He’s always stressed, always mad, always sad. Always something other than just fine which I get because I’m obviously not always fine, but he doesn’t try to do anything to help himself. I’ve suggested therapy, counseling, new medication, literally anything to help him be less stressed and on edge all the time, but he doesn’t seem interested in trying anything. I know that can be apart of his mental stuff, but I also have depression and anxiety and went and got myself taken care of for him. I just wish he was like he was before.

My trauma rules my life right now. I can't go a single day without being reminded of what happened to me.

I dont know who I am. I am so good at mirroring other people. I dont want to be like my dad. Hes a great guy. But hes not me. I want to be me. I dont feel seen or heard by my closest friends and family, and even by my own self. I don't share much about myself. Thats why. It hurts to not be known. Its paralyzing to be seen.

DUDE I was playing on Roblox cac a hangout game and I was dressed as a stylised version of a character called Host from another roblox game NHG (nostalgic hangout game) and these people were so rude, I literally was being chill and stuff and they told me to shut it and that IM INSUFFERABLE? HELLO. Then they were talking about Miku, and as a Vocaloid fan myself i spoke up but they said name 3 Miku games? GAMES?? Obviously I don’t know any games (maybe there are :/) but I only knew the colourful stage one. And then they started spamming LARP at me and like BRO they said I was corny and that ‘twin’ and ‘gng’ was so annoying. I don’t care how rude or desensitise i sound i legit hope they lose their ability to speak, see and walk, I hope the ones they care about forget about them and their life always unpleasant.

I just feel shit I am 17 with bpd and idk if my friend is using it against me. I have had friends who pretend what they say is just the voices in my head and others giving me razor blades to kill myself. I am scared that she isn't trying to hurt me and I am pushing her away.

i know i didnt get diagnosed for it, but i was very much depressed back in like 2020-2023. i was struggling to deal with my home life and my parents fighting basically every other day and constantly threatening to divorce each other to the point that i was just so emotionally tired and had absolutely no will to do anything other than just try to distract myself from it thru random methods. luckily none of the methods i found were self destructive, they were more just crying or like watching tiktoks or something to distract from the fact i had to live out this life. i feel like cause of this ive js fell behind in life. there were some of the most crucial years of my life when it came to planning out what i wanted to do with the rest of my life. I feel like because i thought i would gen take my life after like 18 i just never did any future planning unlike most of my friends and now i dont have any time to do it cause i need to have started on the plan yesterday

I don't know exactly where to start but I was adopted at a young age and was taken in by sweet people but they seemed to have think that another child even if not biologically would fix there marriage but it did not, given the fact that they were divorced less than a year after adopting me. 2 of my close ones have taken their own lives despite me trying so hard to show them that there is light and justice in this world and they hurt me. I know I'm not a professional in any mental health area by any means but it still hurts knowing that maybe if I said I few things differently or said or did more for them they'd still be here. I have always had severe OCPD and definitely have some form of Asperger's and high functioning autism but the OCPD really puts a lot on me. It makes me feel like if I'm not perfect or at least someone undoubtedly special in all walks of life then I do not deserve to live. I always keep moving forward but it still feels like something needs to change and idk how to

How can my parents be proud of me for the small achievements I get, like when I came in third place in the competition, I got a medal and two certificates?

am i ever gnna be a grown up for my parents? i stayed late at uni today n they went insane now theyve changed my curfew to 6 im a 18 yo women i do everyhting in secret i wish i cud have a normal life were no one tells me what to do i drink every Saturday i smoke every nights i vape everyday n night i have a hidden belly button piercing and both nipples pierced i sneak out every Saturday to go clubbing and most fridays to sneaky link teenagers do these things u can only keep them safe yet my parents js restrict me n my frnds parents are the ones who keep me safe. cos theyre the real ones who protect us. they literally have made my life their own. i dont have a job they pay for my uni im so ungrateful the guilt kills me but i need human connection i need to be free ive never had a job i dont think. i know im not gnna survive if i move out i widnt be able to go to uni. i get good grades in my AI degree ik how to balance my social and school life what do i do i wish someone wud js let me i

there's this guy that has like me for about 7-8 years and he confessed last year. We started going out and stuff bout it wasn't that serious. He said he liked me, but his actions proved otherwise I tell him about my day, he would just one up me and say that he has a worse day than me. Or if I tell him about my weekend, he will drag me down and said at least i could go out and chill. He was just so negative and had to bring me down. Even though he's in poly and I'm in ite,we learn pretty much the same stuff. But he's indirectly saying that ite is for dumb people and he's smarter than me because he went to poly.I don't know what to do at this point but I'm trying to cut contact with him cuz he's really aggressive,negative,manipulative and a lot of other red flags that shows but I was too blind to see. People around me pointed it out but I don't know why I was defending his name. I feel like if u genuinely like someone, would you even say stuff like this to them? any advice?

I have a group presentation tomorrow and what I’m presenting will be random I’m so stressed. I don’t know if my information is right. I’m scared I’m going to embarrass myself in front of everyone I went through highschool with ease and now I’m struggling in college. I don’t know how to study I keep failing my college classes I don’t want this major anymore I have a 70% in this class and if I fail this presentation and the exam I’m going to have to retake it All my friends are graduating already I tried to practice my speech and asked my friend if she can listen for 2 minutes and she agreed but turns out She was just high And responding for the hell of it I can’t stand college and how stupid I am

I'm annoyed with myself. deeply. I feel s though I'll mount to nothing. nothing I do is good enough even though I bend and break to be the best. I know it sounds as though I'm exaggerating but I've lived a life where I'm unseen. I go unnoticed because I'm so... pointless. People don't notice me when I'm not there, people don't think of me and when I'm around I'm overlooked. everywhere I go I'm excluded, I'm forgotten and put to the side even though I really want to be included, I want to have friends and be important to someone. I want to belong but I just don't. I'm going to die and no on will remember me. I'll leave no mark and this fleeting life of mine will mean nothing. I'll be no one in life and no one in death. I just can't live like this anymore.

I miss my ex. she was such a beautiful woman. her dark skin, her big black pupils and her pretty wavy hair will always fascinate me. unfortunately our relationship didn't work out because it got pretty toxic. She demanded so much of me, she suffered from mental problems and wanted me to know how to be able to confort her at all times. Unfortunately for the both of us I also struggled with my own mental problems and I wasn't always available to her. I feel deeply saddened I wasn't able to help her, and slowly I saw her love fade. But it wasn't always toxic, we had many good moments, we would laugh a lot together and hold hands. She was so ethereal and so caring, her love felt like a womb. Idk if that makes sense weird way to put it but thats the best I can describe it. anyways... Even when I had my own mental problems I always made sure I had the time to be there for her, I did my research on how I could be of any help to her but we both chose our different paths I am glad I met her tho

I fell in love with my best friends, and then they started dating each other 2 summers ago. I’m asexual, so I’ve never fallen in love before, but after a decade, I found myself in love with my best friend. They’re amazing, beautiful, kind, intelligent, insightful, hilarious. I thought maybe, since we’re both queer, it was possible. I met my other friend more recently, and he meshed well between the 2 of us when I introduced him. He was dating someone at the time, so for a year, we all hung out constantly, fully platonically, and it made me feel like our friendship was genuine. No ulterior motives. He’s also hilarious, charismatic, intelligent, and the first man I’ve ever felt an attraction for. They started dating while I was grieving a loss, and I feel left behind. Inadequate. Confused. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why did the dynamic have to change? Now I feel left out of what used to be an equal connection. They tell me they love me every time we say bye but it hurts to hear.

When i was born, neither of my parents wanted me, so my biological aunt and her husband adopted me. Her husband (my adoptive father) died when i was 9 years old. As it turns out, my adoptive mother never actually wanted me. I also recently met my biological parents and neither of them want me either. Now, im stuck living with my adoptive mother who doesnt see me as her daughter, and i dont have a single parental figure or adult family member that loves me. Everyday feels so lonelh and i barely even talk to any of them. I usually just lock myself in my room when im at home. When im at school, i always get jealous of my friends who all have some form of familial love and relationship. I feel so unloved and worthless and i just wish i could disappear, but even s**cide is difficult. Hurts too much to live but im too much of a coward to die

mama I am just tired, and I am sure you are too, you just deny it and call it laziness because thats what people around you taught you when you were young and thats all you ever heard. I love you mama and thank you for everything you do for me, without you I don't know where I would have ended. You deserve the world and I owe you so much. I wanted to go to a university and continue my studies and get a carrer where you wouldn't have to worry about feeding me and keeping a roof over my head. But I don't have money and I haven't gotten any scholarships and I don't want to put another stone on your back with debt. I'm sorry I was not the best student in my school and I am sorry I wasn't the best son. If only I can return everything I owe to you. If only....

I want us to be friends, and I want to hang out outside of work, but it's just not working out. It's been so hard to meet people I click with, so when we finally met, I was internally ecstatic because it seemed like we'd be great friends. But Everytime we try to organize a hang out, it never works. You have a family event, our schedules don't sync up, you're driving to meet a friend out of town. Idk, I just...it's so discouraging. I really want us to be friends, but it's becoming hard for me to try and work things out. The way you make me feel sometimes is...expendable. So as much as I want to hang out, I'm not putting myself out there anymore. It feels like you don't really want to hang out at all. You already have a loving family, as many friends as you could want. In reality, I'm probably nothing much to you. As much as I want friends out here, Im not desperate, and I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't seem to care enough to set aside any time for me.

Tomorrow’s day is already ruined