All Rants

I have word kinks.but I like them all no one knows these kinks sadly though I wanna try them all but I'm a Virgin and don't wanna be committed, call me a whore?sure that's one of my kinks toooo

My brother thinks I should go to therapy! I don't wanna I know therapy doesn't suit me I know y it won't either it's cause I don't trust anyone fully never... its funny cause my whole pack of cousins go to therapy and all of their individual friends go to therapy AND all of them goes to the same therapistttt. They literally know are WHOLE family drama. I don't discourage people from going to a therapist, if they want therapy they can go but I don't wanna now or in the future. Therapy is not a solution to your problem if you yourself don't take the effort to solve your problem! Anyone can give you advice but if you don't implement it, it can never work

GOD I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING I’m so pathetic at EVERYTHING I’ve lied to my friends about “having someone to talk to” BECAUSE IM SO PATHETIC IM TO SCARED TO EVEN TALK TK THEM I CANT talk to my parents they’ll think I’m lying to skip school. no one likes me I can barley socialize outside of my friend group

I THINK I FUCKING DESERVE A WASHING MACHINE???? LIKE i think it would be cool if you fucking responded to my message to set up a video tour butnoooooo. You have some Family or whatever thats more important than my Basic Fucking Hygiene. It goes to show that the tree is not so different from the nasty gross apple. (context: ex-fwb's dad didnt respond for my washing machine setup and im freaking out) ALSO I DESERVE GAS???? LIKE I DESERVE FUCKING HEAT IN MY HOME????? DISGUSTING FUCKING WORLD THAT VALUES HUMANS SO FUKCING LITTLE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE KILL THEM ALL KILL EVERYONE WHO HAS ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY

my ex and my best friend from 4 years ago had sex and the bad part is he was texting me a week ago saying how he loves me and misses me and two weeks ago she was asking me all about him

Im graduating next week, but i dont feel anything. I should feel like reached a pivotal moment in my life but i feel like i reached a dead end. All my friends are moving, my girlfriend is going 3 hours away, and i never even picked a college because i couldn't decide. I made up an elaborate story that im taking a gap year and studying in mexico but i dont even want to do that. Lately my girlfriend has been hanging out with her friends more often and im happy for her but shes needs to go back to Oklahoma to live with her mom over the summer and i wont see her. Next week we're only hanging out one day. I never get invited to hang out, all my friends are having joint grad parties or celebrating together but i haven't been invited to any. I feel like im losing the priority she once gave me, its pathetic but she was my only constant and now i won't even have that. I hate the town i live in and now im stuck in it without anyone i used to know.

Im just so fed up with everything. My grades have been slipping, I used to ba a straight A student, but now I have a D and an F. I kid you not, I cried for an hour straight when I found out. I’m so fucking scared my mom is going to find out and punish me. I’m going through burnout right now and can’t manage it. My teacher is so strict, he’ll yell at me for not raising my hand when im OBVIOUSLY BUSY??? I don’t fucking care anymore. What’s the point.

I really hate my life, When I was a 10, my dad Raped me and acted like nothing ever happened. I told my mom about it and she got mad and they broke up but my mom still loves him so I gave him another chance and he did it again, and I still gave him another chance. And he did it again.. and I didn't gave him another Chance because he always makes me do self harm but I couldn't find myself to do it because I didn't want to die early. I sometimes hallucinate and I'm very sensitive. I cry easily when someone scolded me, even to little things. I still love my mom. I love my online friends that cares for me. I love my boyfriend who cares for me and adore me all the time and never betrayed me. I always get angry at someone and have a feeling that I want to kill them, I have ADHD. I couldn't vent to my mom or anyone else. Because i was SCARED. I fear something but I don't know what is it. I can't even focus school, I feel disgusting when I did those horrible things I wish I could take it back

To any Christians, Catholics, or anyone that will be offended by this post please scroll away. I have grown up not quite believing in God but being close enough to it. I didn't go to church often. I started getting older and realized once I was around ten I didn't believe in God. My grandparents had always been so nice to me growing up. I came out as part of the LGBTQ+ Community, a therian, an anime lover, and a Atheist to my grandparents. I found out that they were never as nice as they seemed. Thanks for the words that hit me like a leather whip to the ass grandma. Thanks to that I finally know who you really are. Thanks and even though I shouldn't say this all I'm gonna say is Grandma I wished that cancer killed you because you've made my life hell long enough. Love you not. -Your rebelious grandchild.

I've always wanting confessing to my first REAL crush to be perfect. That I would do it on my own, they would like me back, it would be perfect timing. I've been friends with this kid named Karter since Elementary school. I'm now in middle school and he's been getting on my nerves a bit. This year in middle school I fell in love with this kid named Alex. Like, a little concerningly obsessed but not enough to be mental hospital obsessed. On valentines day I was like "Oh welp another year of being lonely because I'm to embarrassed to tell my crush I like him." I told my friend Nick that I had a crush on Alex. Nick told that to Karter. Karter asked Alex who he liked. Alex said either me or this girl in my ELA named Katie. Karter RUINS my perfect moment by saying "TORI LIKES YOU TOO!!!" And pushing me and Alex towards each other and singing messed up wedding songs. Karter if you somehow see this then let me tell you something respectfully. Fuck off. You ruined my life.

why is my friend SO judgmental? when i change my pfp shes like "what is that pfp" girl bsfr rn. why do you care about my pfp? you never ever talk to me, and now your asking me "what is this pfp?" i cant even act like myself around you because im too scared you'd judge me.

I can never sleep. I stay up until minimum of 11pm at night and maximum of maybe 3am then I need to be at school by 8:00am. I'm always exhausted when I wake up. I can't seem to fall asleep. Ever. I always make jokes about being sleep deprived or my massive dark eyebags but I'm almost always feeling like shit. I'm always nauseous and sweaty at school. I'm only twelve turning thirteen this year and I feel miserable already. I want to kill myself sometimes but whenever I reach out to the suicide hotline my computer won't let me in. Things at school suck and my parents suck and I want to die. With my dog passing away sometime last year and lots of end of year finals I'm stressed beyond my breaking point. I just want peace. It's currently 11:34pm where I am.

It's been just over a year since my dog Pippa passed away. She hadn't been able to keep food down for a few weeks and I had a feeling she would die soon. She was the best girl in the world. She had been with me since I was born. Eleven years of pure joy and happiness. Until the end of March rolled around. I was having the best day of school and it was a Monday. I was surprised it had been going so well and I was suspicious something would go wrong later. I walked home from the bus stop to see both of my parents cars in the driveway which was weird because that day my dad had brought Pippa to the vet for a checkup to see what was wrong that day and my mom was supposed to be at work. I walked in to my parents sitting in the living room with Pippa together looking terrified. That's when they told me and my brother the news. We had to put her down. And at the worst time possible. April fools day. We put her down on APRIL FOOLS DAY. My grief keeps coming back in waves. RIP Pippa. Fly high..

The reason Jeff Bezos resigned from Amazon the scam company especially sending wrong products, and focus on his giant penis space program, is his words and actions means he is off the planet.

I'm just like my mother. Everyday I'm reminded of it. I get angry and shut down randomly, I lash out on people when I really don't mean to. I'm as emotional as her. I'm just like her. I always will be. And that thought scares me. I love her, but I don't wanna be her.

I transferred to a new school after being heavily bullied at my old one and I have tried to improve myself by cutting out things that harm me like za and i have realized that I really don’t have any friends or real outside family connections i have out of state friends and people who I try to talk to but i end up not really having anyone to hang with so i am very often alone and i think that the usage of za has hurt my brain to the point where i can’t make connections anymore even at my old school i had some friends but i really don’t think there is anything i can do to help myself and i am so incredibly lonely all the time:

My 16f sister didn’t audition for a thing in school that my dad explicitly told her to do because she “didnt want to” and now he’s getting mad at everyone. He blew up at my mom for something her friends said and apparently hes also mad at me (18f) because i didn’t join a certain one-credit chamber ensemble class at uni when i didn’t even know he wanted me to join and he only knows the vaguest mutterings abt this class bc of a piano teacher. I’ve always done everything he’s asked me to do (auditioned for xyz, applied for xyz) because i knew he would get mega pissed off if i didn’t and now i’m worried that tomorrow morning he’s going to start yelling at me and i won’t even be allowed to say anything in return. I’ve literally done so much of what he’s asked me to but its the things that i DONT do that make him say i’ve wasted his money, wasted his time, wasted LIFE or something and right now i’m stressed out because my sister didn’t do the thing and it’s ruined the entire rest of the week

I can't empathize with people-- of course i can see why they would feel sad but i can't feel sad for them unless i see it happen in front of my eyes, i can't give comforting responses but i can listen i guess but i dont want to bear their burden like i don't want them to bear mine but i need someone to listen but sometimes even writing in a diary makes me want to rip it to shreds and end its suffering, for it doesnt deserve to live with the words i have etched in it

i dont really care if they leave me or not because if they do then they will be happy and it probably wasnt meant to be if they think and act on it in the first place but i crave intimacy but im not actually gonna go for it im never gonna outwardly say i love you eww that means nothing and its awkward and cringe but atthe same time the thought is lovely i guess i want to be hugged but the feeling is disgusting eww ummm they deserve freedom they dont need meit hurts but it fades quickly because if they leave me then we're both happy. relationships are reciprocal and if one person doesnt feel happy its not going to work so itwas never meant to be. one day someone will be happy with me and thats the one that i might stay with. of course it will take time but thats for everything haha ummm thats never gonna happen tbh low chance i dont offer much actually but i expect so much i dont deserve anyone

im reading these and i lwky feel miserable but i shouldnt feel miserable because i have an ok family i guess straight As n shi umm good friends but idk everyone i know has it worse than me but i also feel really bad even though im privileged to even be here today if i just disappeared they would have something to replace me all of them i might be a lazy bum umm yeaa yeaa i wish i could take their burdens maybe the world would be better my friends are aspiring scientists and lawyers if they just had better mental health then maybe there could be great things contributed to the world tbh idont know what my focus in life really is because im not even the best in my class so i cant contribute shit ummm yeaa yeaa yay wow