All Rants

I’ve been eating less, sleep less, talking less, more suicidal thoughts, I’ve been relapsing every other week, my grades are bad, I’m getting kicked out of school tomorrow, I just lost one of my closest friends and she made me feel like an asshole and that I don’t deserve to be here, I’m fat, ugly, gay, I have a big nose, no friends, ugly smiles, ugly laugh, I hate everything about me, I don’t deserve my 3 friends, I need help but my parents are so strict I can’t call 988 without getting guilt tripped. I want to die but I don’t want to kill myself, I want to die in my sleep or get killed, no one would really care, but the only reason I’m still here is for my boyfriend, but when he leaves, which is bound to happen, who knows what I’ll do.

You're just proving my point. I don't need a counselor. If anything you do. Anybody that will talk in a constant way like water from a faucet for 30 min plus hardly letting you get a word in but when you do they say you're interrupting them. If I wanted a monologue I'd listen to late night hosts. This was in the last few days. This isn't new it happens every so often. If it wasn't a bazillion years of service maybe I could have become a therapist or something since so many have brought their problems to me. I was told before oh you'd make a good psychiatrist. Probably so. What I hate though is when I tried to go to family about my issues it's all call a crisis line blah blah blah I won't tell so and so what you mentioned, then turned around and did just that. Funny though they wouldn't call a crisis line themselves though during their supposed marital divorce issues claiming physical harm when none actually took place it was all for attention. Why my family gotta be this way?

Its okay to tell me that Im too old to cry, all because I'm a freshman I should be mature. So I'll cry quietly while you get the last word, I keep my thoughts and options to myself so when it comes to making decisions I somehow always choose the wrong one, and not because you say it's wrong, but because that's what I've taught myself to believe. I'll bottle up my emotions so that no one can see my pain until one day I'll blow up on everyone around me and loose all my friends. I'll stand for 2 minutes trying to talk because I was talking first but you interrupted so yes, I'll be grumpy, so then I'll get sent to sleep my room because now I'm overdramatic. So know I'll go to a site to vent anonymous while crying as hard and silently as I can because I'm tired of having my voice shut out by everyone around me. So from now on I won't speak because I believe that there's no point. To anyone reading this, I love these people but sometimes they don't get it. None the less, I love them.

I shouldn't have to watch my family member like a toddler because they're drunk, I mean flopsy drug drunk. You don't know what they're gonna do or how they'll act. I don't know what posseses them to get like this and do this. Yesterday they a whole different person. Today they verbally bit my head off talked to me like a Karen like grizzly bear. They wouldn't tolerate that from other people. Well actually they have an just took it out on me because they're a straight up coward. Anyway point being if I acted like that they wouldn't tolerate it. I wish they'd get help. Get tired of going through this. My life's difficult enough without them acting like this. I wish I had somewhere else to go. But nobody I know will have me even for one night. It'd be different if they were a happy drunk. No they're a mean cussy trash talking condescending drunk. I have my own flaws yeah but I don't put others through hell and make their lives miserable. I warned them before they started yesterday.

I'm going through some family drama, and it's making me lose my mind. Basically, my dad wanted to get some new bookshelves, and he immediately said I'm helping him, without asking if I even wanted to. I didn't want to, and I asked him if he had someone else who can help him. He said he didn't, and then I said I don't want to. He responded with "Why, you're not doing anything tomorrow." He ended up getting some movers to do it, but now my family is pissed at me because I said I don't wanna drive 2 hours north and do manual labor for no fucking reason. I'm losing my mind here. Am I in the wrong or something? Like why am I the one who's catching shit from everyone, when I didn't want to do it in the first place and got voluntold that I had to do it? I feel like I'm losing my mind here. Seriously I didn't do anything wrong and everyones pissed at me

I hate myself and my life so much I just wanna die. My father is never home my mother is always mean. My grandma is also never home and my siblings don’t understand. so now this is the only place I trust

For over a year now I’ve had horrible depression and my parents have done literally nothing to help it. Everything has been seeming worse than it is every problem looks like a mountain I have to clime and I’ve lost all of my closest friends, so I got no one to talk to, but this app

I feel like i am ruining everyones day. I get so easily frustrated because i hate myself but i let that leak onto others and they get hurt, then everything gets quiet until they leave. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want them to hate me just as much as i want them to hate me, i dont understand.

I really don't know why im like this I have evrything in my life so why do I wanna die every single fucking day?

My dad makes me want to hurt myself and I don't know how to make him happy. I can't actually harm myself tho, I got rid of knives and stuff. But I'm just a kid and I have to be careful around him when he's in a bad mood. It's like I have to manage his emotions.

A lot of people think that being a parent of an autistic child isn’t that bad. They think that you’re not parenting your child. You don’t have structure at home. I followed books, took classes, took vitamins, had a healthy diet, joined parenting groups and follow all doctors instructions. There is no straight line with autism. No matter how much you try to prepare, nothing is clear cut. One autistic child is not the same as another. And for those who think that they know better… I bet you wouldn’t last a day in my shoes.

I tend to overthink more often than I should and I can't keep myself occupied to just stop overthinking. I always think of something bad more than good when I overthink and it's just questions filling in my head for some reason. I don't know how to handle it and I am constantly stressed all the time it is so exhausting. My mind is running around and around all over again and I barely have friends to vent to I also don't want to cause my parents to be worried and I don't know how to begin. I try to do things myself before I ask for help and I struggle alone not knowing what to do with myself. I keep to myself more than I speak I only let my child self show because I don't want people worrying about me. Nobody really understands me but myself so I talk to myself often but new things keep popping up everyday. I feel like I can't speak how I want because judging is always a thing. People won't end up caring about my situation and I put people before myself wanting to make them happy.

I am so mad at my daughter’s father. He is never here for any of the hard times. My child has autism annd schizophrenic. And this situation is just not fair. My life completely stopped so I can focus on my child’s needs. I have to fight for help at school. I have to fight for assistance. I have to make sure all the bills get paid. What does he do? Nothing!!! He’s not here for every episode or tantrum. Oh let’s not talk about being here for the teenage years, the arguments and questions why he’s not around. But he still wants to take part in Father’s Day. No one ever asks, When is the last time you’ve seen your daughter? Or do you know anything about your daughter? I’m so tried of all the weight being on my shoulders all of the time. I didn’t sign up for this. I used to think that maybe later he’ll change his mind and want to help out. Fat chance that will ever happen. How can you just leave your child and not look back? But now he’s mad that his child hates him. I wonder why?

Everyone seems to be a bit off with me. I can’t figure out why but it feels like I’m doing something wrong in socialising day to day. People don’t seem to respond to me well or it feels like people are mocking me a bit but I can’t be sure or work it out really. It feels like people don’t want me around

About creepy bil need to vent

İ havent been eating prodorly for the past 4days and havent been eating aswell.bc of homework and failing my dad again...i have and still strugle frim SH, axsiaty/stress,depresion and suicidal thoughts, i help my suicidal friend ever since her sister died, but no öne thinks adout me,i do music as a thing and im Good at it really, but my PC is very bad and i also play genshin, the game me and my friend plays, shes very nice and kind friend and the only one who actually cares adout me tbh and whitout genshin we dont talk alfter school, but my GB is runing out so i wount ne albe to play... İ think, i have been not toching sunlight in weeks only when i go to school ör music classes, i only study and work on my debut... Nothing else. My dad is saying if i dont get better at school he will take me out of that school... And i wount ever have friends again...BC im asoical and dont talk to ppl.. idk if i will live until somone sees this but yeah....

Everyday is blurring into the same thing nowadays. I stopped messaging people I care about and that's my own fault. It does sting to see they haven't even tried to reach out or anything but a phone goes both ways as the saying goes. I cut off alot of close friends and people I know and hold them at arms length. It's only been getting harder to do anything and I am not improving it seems. Human communication is so foreign to me and I'm only ruining myself and my life. I want to do better but Everytime I do I'm reminded why it doesn't even matter if I'm there or not.

Im so irritated all the time. Everyday it feels like im gonna cry from anger. I have a chronic illness that makes my life so miserable in the sense that everything is inconveniently painful. It’s not blaring pain, or debilitating by any means, it’s just inconvenient aching and throbbing everywhere, all the time. For 15 years I’ve been bottled up in my own pathetic misery, and I just can’t fucking take it no more. I just want to feel nothing for once. To be consciously aware that I don’t feel my joints throbbing under my skin every second of every day. I want to be free. Not dead, not anymore at least, just numb. I want to be numb from everything, mentally and physically. But that’s not possible. So I will remain. I will remain here in my misery because that’s what the universe gave me. I will finish my education in my misery. I will love in my misery, I will hate in it, I will cry and I will laugh in it, for that’s the only thing I have the power to do.

I find it so odd how someone who you think is your best friend one day can abandon you, use you, and manage to be so self centered that she makes it about herself, and the next day, she acts like she doesn't even know you. It's so fucking stupid. Like how can you be so stupid, ignore me, make my life a living hell, and yet YET they ALWAYS manage to make thinks about yourself? Quick tip: If someone hurts you once, shame on them, but if they hurt you twice, shame on you. Don't let yourself get hurt because someone stupid, you deserve better. Whoever is reading this, you deserve better and no matter what you've been through, no matter how badly people abuse you, just know that you're stronger, better, and far more worthy than them. Person across the screen, good luck, don't make my mistake, cause with friends like that, who needs enemies? Stay safe and strong, you're cared for, and even if you can't find who, just know that you'll find the right person :) <3

every little thing that I do, my mom always finds a way to make it an issue. when i give someone CONSTICTIVE criticism, I'm being mean, when I eat and a crumb gets on the table, I'm messy, and it's like nothing can please her. she's not even my real mom, she's just my stepmother and I hate her. because she's such a bitch, my twin doesn't speak to me