All Rants

Fuck all of this. I'm so tired of smiling when i want to cry, so sick and tired of forcing a laugh. Im nearly a third way through my life and fucking wasted so many years. Fuck all of this. I just want to be happy not pretend to be for other people's sakes because I fucking hate people asking me if I'm okay... Clearly fucking not but there is no point in saying that

i wishmy mom and sister would understand im severely autistic.I try to tell them and they just shut me down andthey dont care im going to kill myself soon so it doesnt even matter lol but ill never make it anywhere in life without support geninuely i cant make friends i cant keep a job i want a diagnosis but i feel like im. Being dramatic yk. if i literally just had one person in my life that cared i would literally be compeltely fine but nobody cares about me no matter how hard i try and im starting to realize that the world needs me to kms. like i have to do it everyone needs me to. i cant pass a single class i cant hold a single conversation i cant do anythign and my mom repeatedly choosing the man that literally stalked her for over 20 years over her own children isnt helpign either . This is so sloppy lmao sorry

So i have this girl and i broke up with her but we still do intimate stuff together, she still has feelings and i don’t but she is really emotionally unstable. She keeps bothering me with sleepivers and all as if we are still together but i don’t like her and all and she is always in a victim role

This is a message to the ones who hurt me: Why? Why the fuck did you start all of this shit just to get a reaction out of me?? I thought you were a genuinely good person, and that you just didn’t understand. You understood and knew exactly what you were doing. You had no fucking right to act like that towards me and I hope you feel shame. You should be ashamed you fucking hypocrite. Everything you did to me was malicious and you have the audacity to say that everything I do is malicious. I trusted you with so much and you spat in my face. I hate you, so much. I hope everyone realises how fucking toxic you are because you are genuinely hurting everyone around you. Fuck you.

I’m so lonely it’s pathetic. I’ve practically stopped going to school and I don’t think my “Friends” seem to care. Really, I don’t even think they are my friends. They cant even tell the truth, yapping session alert, anyways. One of my “friends” had a birthday party planned and invited me but later on the SAME day, they told me that the party was cancelled, of course there’s nothing wrong with that, if they hadn’t lied about the party being cancelled. They didn’t even post any pictures on their main accounts, I found out after stumbling across a photography account and found pictures of them there. It really really made me sad, all of them knew the truth and never told me. Genuinely, will I ever find a true friend

Why does nobody take me serious omfg. I’m literally going to stop eating, is that what it will take for people to care

my stupid dad just doesn’t listen to me and finds the most random crap to blame me for like I had a final today and it wasn’t even an important one but apparently he thinks I should’ve skipped to make it more convenient for his schedule which makes no sense because then I automatically get failed and now he’s just pissed at me

okay so I'm in this situation, this boy named jacary and me have been on and off since January but its these fake allegations that I want his brother romel but thats a lie and also I've loved him so much that when he was dating someone and he said he wanted to be with me too I would gohave attachmen

I have noticed that I seem to only ever get along with people who are a lot older then me and it feels like I can never make any real friends my own age that I can actually connect and bond with on a deeper level that doesn't become increasingly unhealthy and codependent. I am worried I am going to feel alone and misunderstood for the rest of my life. The only connections I ever seem to make are people I can't be friends with.

people call me pretty...but i don't think i am. I am actually ugly. no guy ever likes me.....i can't be that ugly

Because of my parents and family, they always make me feel like a nobody and always hold it against me, saying that I am worthless and that I never lead to anything good. It's frustrating. I'm spending my entire existence wondering what my potential is, because I keep living if I'm worthless... Maybe I'm a total waste of space and money or maybe I just have to get out of my environment, disappear and everything. I would like to die but not physically, coffin and funeral, die in the metaphorical sense, make the me who lives in my context die and change the air, send them to hell and change everything...

Today I went to see one, I like it, it's not the best with the furnishings but it's still a house with female students. It was the last room available (the ad highlighted 3 but two have already been taken) so I took a chance and locked the room. I talk about it with my parents, they said they were enthusiastic about my decision, but my father found fault with everything, I already felt guilty for having made a decision immediately (they had seen the photos the day before and had not said anything about it) then he who highlights problems to make me feel more ill did not help me. I asked "don't you like it?" a simple question, my parents scolded me, they got angry telling me that I'm ungrateful, that I never do anything in life, that I make everything up and they even played the victims making me feel like shit, that I'm not able to be with people and that I have to "scratch" everything... I was very hurt, I'm thinking of looking for a job and not letting him know anything about it

I'm so done with my family, they make me so mad to the point I cry out of pure frustration, but today, I'm just done, it wasn't an over the top thing, it wasn't a big deal, but it was the last drop, I'm not even mad anymore, it's gotten to that point, to the point I don't even care, I physically cannot care anymore, I feel dead and empty, they killed me, they killed the me that would cry if they died. I'm so done, I can't see their faces clearly anymore, they're just blurry, maybe I don't love them anymore, I'm not even sure, I'm confused, but for some reason at peace, maybe some part of me realized something that I cannot event think off by myself. I'm just so, done.

Im 30 and I'm nowhere close to getting married or having a family and its filling me with so much despair and sadness. I dont think it will ever happen

See I could dress nicer and do my hair and wear makeup and take care of my body but then what would even be the point my boyfriend wouldnt care either way. I'm not beautiful to him Im just average Im ugly he never shows me affection or desire unless I explicitly ask for it and even then its lame and it sucks. I hate this I hate. how he treats me I hate how worthless I feel when Im with him and I know its my fault because Im depressed and miserable and insecure and I've put all fo that on him and as previously mentioned I dont care for myself so how COULD he be attracted to me? Im literally so fucking ugly and nothing about my body is special

Im so glad you miss me too thank you so much for texting me and telling me how you feel about me all the time. I totally never feel like you dont care about me or are annoyed by me constantly and never want to talk to me. Love all of the thoughtful things you totally say unprompted

I am sick of the company I work for. They constantly dock my pay for no reason, they spell my name wrong even though I've been there 8 months now. Now to top it off they're complaining about when I clock in and out. I've had enough which is why I put in 2 applications for work elsewhere and those places pay more.

It feels like my boyfriend isn't and has ever been sexually attracted to me no matter what I try or say or ask he never seems "in" to it or into me and it makes me feel so so ugly and worthless and undesired. We've been dating for 4 years and he'll leave my sexts on read and just not respond until I double-text again. He's always distracted always unfocused always doing something else he never has the time or headspace for me. I feel like a burden on his life and the things he actually wants to do. I dont think he's attracted to my body or loves me it's just convenient for him to date me because Im patient and helpful and clean up after his messes all the time. I'm just his maid. I dont mean anything to him and I feel stuck because I have no money and am relying on him for support. And even if I got a job I've never been able to work fulltime so I'm just stuck with someone who doesnt even love me never wants to fuck me and is happiest playing MtG in a pigstye with all his friends.

Ok lore drop on march 10th i tried to kms and bc of that, my dad got arrested, my mom and stepdad dont trust me, and i was impatient for 12 days and in php for a month and now im in iop. Im really trying to be grateful and learn to love life again but its so hard when everyone around me is so mentally unwell and bad stuff keeps happening. My stepmom has practically disowned me, my friends are all at war, my family is crazy poor and its all my fault, my mom keeps going out drinking, and my dog is about to be put down in 2 hours. And ive relapsed on selfharm for the first time in 75 days. I really wish it was summer already so i at least wouldnt have to stress about school. I have too much to think about i really wish i didnt have to think anymore. 16 years old btw its is NOT that important bro chill out

i don’t know whether to turn christian and religious or kill myself.