All Rants

I wish people wanted to know me as much as I want to know them

Im so understimulated and bored. We don't do anything but stay inside or go to the pool. It's the same damn thing everyday. Whats the point in waking up if nothing is gonna happen? Its the same cycle everyday. I wake up late, I feed and water my cat, I eat, I sit in my room, I doom scroll, I draw, I eat dinner, I sleep. Every. Single. Day. I wanna go out and dress up and do something fun. But we don't do any of that. The most fun I have is playing with the dog. Im tired of just sitting inside and doing nothing. I genuinely can't wait for school to start because then I'll actually have something to wake up for other than my cat. I can actually wake up and not be able to predict what will happen. But in the time being I have nothing to do. Any suggestions on what I can do to keep myself busy and not go insane? -LG

I hate myself. I'm so sick and tired of being okay one second, then full of doom and despair the next. I'm tired of living this way, some nights I wish, and I wish I would just die in my sleep so I don't have to do this shit anymore.

There’s so much eating away at me right now, I’m loosing my bestfriend who I get is going through something but so am I. I’ve almost died so many times this week but it’s okay because we have to talk about your problems with the boy you love that you don’t think loves you back but Ik does, your to stubborn to accept my help and actually talk to me like you want to talk to me. I feel like I’m talking to a fucking brick wall. I talk to her but all she ever does usually is reply to me like it doesn’t matter, like I don’t matter. I ask to call but you don’t want to because you’re not in the mood, fine sure great. But when he asks to call I get a text if “OMG INLOVE HIMMMM” and paragraphs on how much you love him but when he hurts you your so quick to forgive I haven’t hurt you like that or at all, I hold my tongue so I don’t start shit between us but somehow the way I feel is my fault because I’m not communicating, how do I communicate with someone who won’t work with me? I’m so sick of it

Before committing, just remember. You have a mom, a dad, a son, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a cousin, an uncle, an auntie, a grandma, a grandpa, a neice, a nephew, a grand son, a grand daughter, a best friend, a bro, a homie, a girly, a baby, an online friend. You have people in this world who will remember you, people who think of you and say, "Huh, wonder what they're doing rn" "Is --__--__--" awake?" "I wish I can play with them" "I wonder what they wanna eat" "I wish I can talk to them" People arent always alone. You can find new people in this world to be friends with. Besides you, DJT, fuck you, haha. And you EM, your truck sucked!

NSFW warning Man, I just love it when compulsory masturbation just destroys my insides. It's so fun when you have to orgasm over and over until you physically can't breathe. It's so fun when you have to clench your muscles until you're sore. Wasting every last drop of energy is amazing! Seeing blood in your underwear afterwards is the best. And cramping for at least an hour afterwards is just great! Just the thought of the way it makes me feel is enough to get me nauseated. My brain has me trapped behind bars. Forcing me to repeat this painful cycle over and over. There's no escape. You're forced to lay there, exhausted, unhappy, and somehow still needing more. I feel so pathetic for letting my brain control me like this.

Is it weird that I don't want to be seen but also what to be seen by others at the same time? Last year at school I purposely didnt talk to anyone because I thought I was too ugly to have a voice. But I still wanted people to think I was something but not at the same time if that makes any sense. Maybe I should just relapse.

It sucks when you want your friends to be near you but you don't want to be near them, somehow I attract people who I think care about me I don't know, and I can't even send a simple "hi" text back without my fingers trembling and my overthinking and I know it's affecting my life since one of my old group of friends is slowly drifting away from me although no one has said anything about me so maybe I am overthinking I don't know again I do try to see online if anyone feels like this (to at least get some comfort) but uh no one feel this way and I'm instead getting people's videos about "top ten worst friends to have" or "how to know when your friend is double sided" and genuinely makes me want to cry because I don't want to be a bad person I'm not a whore but I don't know what I'll do when school comes up maybe I'll just drift away or like just be even more terrible so I know for sure they hate me. man, this did not help holy

I feel like nobody talks about what its like being the 'gifted kid'. Because its so fucking exhausting. Ever since kindergarten my teachers always said I was 'gifted' and smarter than the other kids. How I miss elementary when it was all natural. I didn't have to try and constantly get praised by teachers and peers. It was bliss, I got all the attention and was known as the smart one. Soon enough in middle school I get all the hard classes and have to start putting some effort but its hard to because I never knew how to study or anything. I tell others I never study and just accel but in reality I'm staying up all night just to get an 100 in every class. I cry myself to sleep and even start cutting myself if I get any lower. I'm jealous of people who can just live their lives without worrying so much or being constantly pressured to succeed. Soon I burnout and instead of doing any actual work I just sit in my bed all fucking day being a useless piece of shit.

my parents never really encouraged being a christian, theyre parents do but they dont really believe in that stuff. a while back i went through a low point and i started practicing christianity, at least a little more than before. it really did seem to help me, and im so thankful. but now, a few months later, im just thinking about everything, how fucking terrible our world is, and how horrible humans can be, and like, theres no way there is a god. im sorry, but like, my grandparents always say "god planned out everything, he knows whats gonna happen, this was all his plan, blah blah blah", but like, why would god plan for humans to be so fucking horrible sometimes? and like, why would he purposefully make life harder for women? i never believed that adam and eve shit, about that damn apple, like, if "god loves us all equally" THEN WHY DIDNT HE MAKE US ALL FUCKING EQUAL?!?! im sorry, but i actually cant believe that shit. like idk what to do now, what to believe, but like, no way bro

ive been told today that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with 4 seperate people over the span of 3 months. i have been dating him for a year how many times can i let someone play in my face before i flip bro

daily reminder to keep going You have already survived every hard day that came before today. Take a deep breath, look forward, and trust that you possess the strength to handle whatever comes next, one small step at a time

Hi, I'm the person that said "I honestly want to kill myself" n' if anyones concerned I was mid episode so as aware as I can get, I uh I'll be... moreee fine... a little while later. Thanks random strangers.

I am really struggling to keep going everything is getting so hard and i lowkey js wanna die

I’m going on a date today with my fiancé yaaay

i just found out he likes me back and ive loved him for years and im so happy but at the same time im totally freaking out and i lowkey thought i would be happier but im like rly stressed but at the same time its crazyyy cus ive wished for this for yearssss every birthday, fountain, star, dandilions, every 11:11, even christmas, lol. im totally in shock and i dont know what to do. i feel so weird, i feel like im not ready to actually put in the effort for a relationship, i dont know how, im so weird, all my interests are weird and dorky and hes probably gonna stop liking me so idk what to do im so scareddddd but im so excited at the same time idk why im so stresseddd shouldnt this be easier? helpp

This is for the person who needs it. You can’t love them, honey. They don’t want you anymore. I know it hurts..I don’t know why they can’t see you, I’m sorry. But, you need to realize crying yourself to sleep every night isn’t helping your frustration. You are a magnificent human being. They can’t see what they lost. You think loving them harder will help, it just fuels a narcissist’s ego. I wish i could tell you what would help…but your best option is to shut off communication. It’s not healthy for you.. what did you do to yourself…? You shouldn’t do that because they don’t want you anymore. It just means God has a much bigger purpose for you. I know it’s hard to believe, but trust me. It’ll be worth the pain.

I feel so empty and sad but can't cry. Why

Wake up, they are gone. You need to wake up. WAKE UP. THEY LEFT YOU, BECAUSE YOU DIDNT FIT THEIR STANDARDS ANYMORE. YOU ROSE SO FUCKING HIGH, THEY COULDN'T STAY. YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON, THEY GOT JEALOUS AND LEFT YOU BECAUSE YOU LOVED THEM BUT YOU WERE NOT HURTING LIKE THEM. OPEN YOUR EYES, I DONT CARE IF YOU TREATED THEM WITH KINDNESS. You will always, always.. be the villain in their story, in yours? They are a victim. Open your fucking eyes. Stop crying over them. They can’t see what an amazing person they lost. So shut your crying eyes, get the fuck up. And achieve your dreams.

I wanna die but I don't wanna kill myself. Please tell me im not the only one. Because I'm not fucking brave enough to actually do it. Nor do I have tools too. I feel trapped in a cage and the key is far from my reach.